"Where'd you get that booty, mama?", asks Prince during Cindy C, the second track on the notorious Black Album.
As chat-up lines go, I gotta say man, that right there is supremely ridiculous.
Where'd you get that booty? What kind of question is that? What the hell, man. It's like saying "Hey, that's some great breathing you got going on there." He'd be better off saying "Hi, I'm Prince, you may have heard my records about the sexy motherfucker and so on. Yeah, I'm down here. Hi."
I don't think I've ever heard such a bafflingly daft outburst. Even when folks get chat-up lines mixed up and say shit like "Do you come here often, cause I've got a friend who says these stars would be good for you", even that bumbling nonsense makes more sense.
Where do you think she got it? She didn't get it anywhere, most likely. It just popped up one day to the north of her knees. She didn't pick it. Arses just show up, man. It's a fundamental fact of life.
And really, Prince. The Black Album? Maybe back in 1933 when folks were writing songs so as they could pay for a glass a whiskey and a bed for the night, maybe back then a record called The Black Album would be a novelty, probably insinuating that what lies within is all controversial and uncompromising and so on. But we've had a million black albums since 1933, man. At least 67 million, I believe, was the last estimate.
It's like calling your sixth record after the name of your band. That right there is a whole heap of ridiculous. That right there don't mean that the record houses some sort of radical reinvention. It just means folks get confused when they click on those Amazonians and find seven discs with the same damn name. What the hell, man?
I'd shake my head at you, Prince, if I wasn't busy writing a very amusing review of that album you did one time, the one about The Black Album.
For folks what might have missed this recent development of the late 1980's, what happened was Prince followed up a whole batch of multi-million selling pop albums with a record filled with lyrics about "Don't nobody fuck wit me" and so on, and had songs called stuff like 2 Nigs United 4 West Compton. What happened was that the record company said stuff like "What the hell are you doing, Prince? What's with the swearing and the talk about the sexing in such graphic detail? God almighty, next thing we know you'll be changing your name to some unpronounceable semiotic anomaly and scribbling over your cheeks with markers."
"And really", I believe the memo reads, "What in the hell does that line about 'Where'd you get that booty' mean?
The record was scrapped and Prince went ahead and flung LoveSexy together, the record what has him naked on the cover, complete with fairly shameful hair-stylings.
I bet those record company types wouldn't have been so quick to dismiss the songs about the booty, had they known he'd bare his arsehole next time around.
The Black Album is very similar in tone, execution and fuck-words with that later album what no-one knows what to call. The one with the symbol and the song about His Name Is Prince, which was the first track just in case you picked up the CD and hadn't a clue who the hell it was by.
Article comments
1 - Rodney Welch
I'll say one thing, Duke: for someone who can't stand TV dinners you sure do eat enough of those motherfuckers.
2 - Al Barger
This is an absolute must-hear classic album. I'll give El Duke the point about a couple of cheesy pickup lines, but even those were on purpose.
He didn't even mention probably the two best songs on the album, "Dead On It" and "Rock Hard in a Funky Place."
Then there's the heart of darkness that is "Bob George."
OK Duke, now go in there and put on that new wig I bought you. NO, NO- the reddish brown one.
Bob- ain't that a bitch?
3 - Rodney Welch
I agree with Al. It's little but it's LOUD.
4 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Hey folks. As i hinted at the end, this record does grow on you, but however aesthetically adventurous it is, you gotta admit its pretty hard to love.
But its certainly interesting, often brilliant.
I don't think i did a very good job with this here. It was, what, half five in the AM. a fella needs sleep at such an hour, not to be yacking about such a monumental record. Sorry folks. Although theres some good jokes in there, Duke, odn't be too hard on yourself.
5 - Jim Carruthers
What really helped "The Black Album" was for the longest time, it was only available as a bootleg. Nothing like creating demand through denial.
As for "Lovesexy", the initial CD version was mastered as one track, so you couldn't go from track to track. Somebody brought their copy back to Sam the Record Man on Yonge St. and complained: "There's something wrong with my Lovesexy", the clerk said: "Go tell Dr. Ruth".
6 - Jesse Haskell
For one thing, in your review, the whole opening diatribe is based on a misunderstanding of the lyrics. It's not "Where'd you get that booty, Mama?", it's "Where'd you get that beauty mark?" Which refers to Cindy Crawford's very famous beauty mark - she's the whole subject of the song. Hello?
7 - rev. d
wow... so... so very riddled with errors. damn. 4 example, the misquoted lyrics, as jesse haskell pointed out. not 2 mention the fact that warner bros. was intent on releasing it, prince stopped it. derr hey. very repetitive and over-critical. but i suppose that's why the review showed up on a blog. it's obvious that you listened to it and offerred an honest opinion which is commendable but be sure to check facts next time and maybe try to create a better foundation to build upon. sort of superficial, altho the album is. but i guess that's sort of why it's so good. also, b sure 2 keep in mind that prince was trying to parody rap after being criticized for not playing for "black audiences" anymore after the transition to rap music so yes, it is pretty goofy. there's nothing wrong with having a little fun. after all, if you can find anything deep about a john wayne movie, it loses it's purpose and charm, duke.
8 - sharad
This was the most briliant thing I'd heard amidst all the other stuff on the radio in 1988. My friends were listening to the Cure or Depeche Mode or the dismal top 40 of the time, and I hear a bootleg of this... and learn what creativity means.
Bob George was influenced by hip hop? Can you name a track pre-1988 that this was influenced by? NWA came out after didn't it? Even Public Enemy was later, wasn't it? Or simultaneous?
Superfunky's title was a riff of Parliament track (George Clinton) and Mary Poppins... have you listened to what's being said in the song?
I love this strange, addictive, and aggressive album. It might have had the most ear opening effect on me since I discovered the Beatles catalog for myself as a youth.