The Absolute Worst Album Cover Art... Ever..

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• 1 - BRICKLAYER

  Jun 09, 2005 at 1:49 pm

  Whoa, I actually thought those were all pretty dang cool compared to the abundance of lazy uncreative covers I see nowadays. Now I just have to know what John Bult sounds like!

• 2 - Vern Halen

  Jun 09, 2005 at 1:57 pm

  Urk. Not much to say after such a starling display of....urk.
  
  Got a question - anyone ever hear of this guy in Texas called Jandek that only sell albums through mail order business, won't play live, and takes a seemingly random polaroid of something or other and uses it for album art? Them's some pretty weird pictures too, but not as freakish as the ones shown here.

• 3 - Mark Saleski

  Jun 09, 2005 at 2:07 pm

  i thought to myself, "gee, i hope he's got that Herbie Mann cover on the list."
  
  ..and sure enough.
  
  also, this line: Nothing says "Jesus loves you" like beating some cinderblock ASS!
  
  is seriously funny!

• 4 - Robert

  Jun 09, 2005 at 2:53 pm

  Jandek is the king of outsider music in my book.
  
  Check out this

• 5 - Vern Halen

  Jun 09, 2005 at 5:14 pm

  Very cool link! Thanks Robert. Are there any audio files? I can't seem to find any.
  
  I keep hearing that Blue Corpse is one of the strangest/best albums of all time. If it's as good as the Shaggs' Philosophy of the World, I'll have to track it down.

• 6 - Mark Saleski

  Jun 09, 2005 at 5:15 pm

  Jandek is definitely as WEIRD as the Shaggs.
  
  'good' is left as an exercise for the listener.
  
  i kinda like him.

• 7 - Vern Halen

  Jun 09, 2005 at 5:22 pm

  And I like the Shaggs. Who else could've written a song so brilliant it's unfathomable as "My Pal Foot Foot"?

• 8 - Tan Hoang

  Jun 09, 2005 at 5:27 pm

  I forget the album name, but you can add that album by John Lennon and Yoko Ono with them naked on the cover. It wasn't too pleasant.

• 9 - Al Barger

  Jun 09, 2005 at 9:11 pm

  The John & Yoko album with the nude cover was Two Virgins. What was so unpleasant about that album cover?

• 10 - Tan Hoang

  Jun 09, 2005 at 9:17 pm

  Well... I admire John Lennon and seeing him naked distracted me from the music and there is not much that can overshadow John Lennon and his music... It's kind of hard to believe, but it did.

• 11 - Sterfish

  Jun 10, 2005 at 5:15 am

  Those album covers were absolutely hilarious. The real covers were the best but I did enjoy that "Can I Borrow A Feelin?" cover. That's a reference to an episode of The Simpsons as "Can I Borrow A Feelin?" was the name of the album Milhouse's dad recorded.

• 12 - dietdoc

  Jun 10, 2005 at 8:45 am

  This, in my humble and insignificant opinion, is some funny stuff. Thanks for this, Mr. Burke. You sure made my Friday morning!
  
  Cheers,
  
  Ron

• 13 - Robert

  Jun 10, 2005 at 9:07 am

  I used to have a website devoted to bad music. So I am pretty familiar with the music of Jandek, William Shatner, The Shaggs, Shooby Taylor, Lucia Pamela, Jack Muridian, etc.
  
  My favorite however is Eilert Pilarm. A Swedish Elvis Impersonator.
  
  Listen to a couple Eilert songshere
  If you haven't heard him you'll thank me.
  

• 14 - Shark

  Jun 10, 2005 at 9:25 am

  Great post, hilarious stuff!
  
  One thing I really like about these albums: when some moron gets the chance to "design" something like this, they always pick THE WORST FONTS ever made.
  
  If you notice, almost every one of them have that in common. Some even use the same typeface family: ie. Can I Borrow a Feelin' -- Our Hearts Keep SInging.
  
  The most bizarre is the juxtaposition of the "All My Friends Are Dead" with the super-1970s-I'm happy! font!
  
  Also loved Devastating Dave's subtlety: just in case you don't get it, the word "ZAP!" is over his crotch.
  
  Oy.
  
  
  PS: Expect Hank Williams Jr. to cover "All My Friends Are Dead" as a follow-up to "All My Rowdy Friends Have Settled Down"
  
  
  

• 15 - Robert

  Jun 10, 2005 at 9:35 am

  Ha!
  
  
  I almost mentioned the "ZAP!"
  It stuck me as well. In terms of badness this cover is perfect.
  
  Now if we could only get the music files to go with these. Something tells me the music underneath is probably just as hilarious.

• 16 - Robert

  Jun 10, 2005 at 9:43 am

  I thought I would share this with everyone.
  
  One of these covers has affected me so deeply that I now use it as a friendly goodbye to my friends.
  
  I no longer say or "keep in touch with yourself" or "later" or "take it sleazy", all of those phrases have taken a back seat to to perfectly constructed:
  
  "Rat On Swamp Dogg!"
  
  I suggestion you start using this phrase as a farewell too.
  
  We can really start a cultural linguistics phenomenon. It will eventually be used on Saturday Night Live and be traced right back here. To our beloved Blogcritics.
  
  Rock On Swamp Dog!
  
  Robert

• 17 - Robert

  Jun 10, 2005 at 9:47 am

  Hey why can't we edit our comments? I get a permission denied error.
  
  I wrote "Rock On Swamp Dog!" instead of Rat On Swamp Dogg!"
  
  It is important that the phrase is "Rat On Swamp Dogg!"

• 18 - Robert

  Jun 10, 2005 at 9:53 am

  Guess what, Rat On! by Swamp Dogg was actually release in 1971 by Electra Records!
  
  Wow. Gotta find this album. Here is what Allmusic said:
  
  "The cover of this LP--Swamp Dogg riding a white rat, hands raised and fists clenched in triumph--lets you know that you're not in for any ol' R&B record, even before the needle hits the grooves. It's a satisfying continuation of the eclectic soul-singer-songwriter mix of his debut. Vocally, Swamp Dogg sounds like a cross between General Johnson (of Chairmen of the Board) and Van Morrison; as a songwriter, he's his own man. With the exception of Sly Stone, no other soul men of the period were investigating controversial topics with such infectious musicality and good humor. He takes on promiscuity with unbridled frankness in cuts like "Predicament #2," and bemoans the eternal delay of American justice for minorities in "Remember I Said Tomorrow," and twists Irving Berlin's "God Bless America" into a protest song (and also, bizarrely, covers the Bee Gees' "Got to Get a Message to You"). None of this endeared him to industry insiders, and Swamp Dogg was dropped by Elektra after the album's release. It's long been out of print, but in the U.K. Charly has reissued it on CD on a two-fer with Total Destruction of Your Mind. ~ Richie Unterberger, All Music Guide "

• 19 - Robert

  Jun 10, 2005 at 10:26 am

  Rat On! by Swamp Dogg is available on CD packaged with another one of his albums.
  
  You can get both albums on 1 CD for $2.95 here

• 20 - Dave S

  Jun 10, 2005 at 4:23 pm

  Stop stealing Dusty Scott's material.

• 21 - Eric Berlin

  Jun 10, 2005 at 4:32 pm

  I had a bunch of horrid-looking LPs on my wall for years. Picked them up at some kind of fair in Berkeley for $1 -- as many as I wanted. I still have one, my favorite: Detectives' "It Takes One to Know One." I've never even heard the thing but I suspect it's Pure Genius.

• 22 - The Theory

  Jun 11, 2005 at 2:32 pm

  If you want horrid album covers, try looking in the Southern Gospel section of a music store. What makes them worse is that they don't even have the excuse of coming from the 70s, or some similar era. They are most within the past couple of years. The John Hagee Family's cd "Stand" is terrible... and it's from 2001.

• 23 - Aaman

  Jun 13, 2005 at 10:48 pm

  Yes, some correlation between this post and that

• 24 - Temple Stark

  Jun 14, 2005 at 3:54 am

  The Blogcritics' editors liked this one. It's a pick of the week. Congrats. Put the news up proudly on your site.
  
  We've provided a handy button to do just that at the link below.
  
  Here's a link to the rest of this week's picks and the reason why.
  

• 25 - dietdoc

  Jun 14, 2005 at 7:27 am

  I am happy this entry was cited as "Pick of the Week." I really haven't laughed this hard at something online in quite a while This is comedy!
  
  Cheers,
  
  Ron

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