It’s somewhat ironic that Simon Cowell of American Idol... uh, notoriety, has stated that Bob Dylan’s music “bores him to tears.” Moreover, “…the Bob Dylans of this world would (not) make American Idol a better show.” Cowell went on to say he preferred Kelly Clarkson and that he had “never bought a Dylan record.”
Should we all be devastated by the king of — how shall we put this gently? — mediocre pop that vanishes in a poof when the show ends? As Dylan would say, and I really couldn’t say it better, “The radio makes hideous sounds.” (Disclaimer: not always, certainly, but as a general rule, I don’t see much evidence of a major social change or movement the way Bob Dylan influenced us at any time during his life.)
One cannot take Cowell’s comments regarding Dylan as any serious criticism or something to be considered as other than what they really are beneath the surface - this is just another boring barb and snipe from the ever-so boring pithy and pissy and predictable Simon Cowell who likely just said it to garner publicity for himself and ride on Dylan’s coattails (which is disgusting — shame, shame Simon) .
After all, this is Simon Cowell for heaven’s sake — he who sits with his growingly flabby cheek propped on one elbow and his super-size Coke on the table before him. (How are the endorsements coming along Simon?) Have you made your millions? Certainly you have by now. You have sold your soul, sold yourself to the masses by being a pissed off ex-pat, which is easy because even I can do that as I’m proving right now. How much talent does that take? But then, you never claimed to have talent, did you, Simon, or did you? If you did, boy, would that take balls. But just being a pissed off ex-pat? That part’s easy – I can do that. Simon, you suck. Voila! Show me the money.
Back to this Coke endorsement thing (Is it Coke? Pepsi? Did they make you take a challenge?) — is that feeding you well? And how about other endorsements? Surely there are some. Are you asking yourself yet, "This is not my beautiful house, this is not my beautiful wife, how did I get here…?"
Well, you dug your own grave, Simon. As Bob might say of you Simon, “People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent.” But I doubt very much Cowell would repent. I cannot see Simon Cowell down on his knees, humbling himself for anyone because he’s just too high and mighty for that. He’s a brick house as they say. He likes that song. As I recall, a contestant sang that last season and it seemed to fly pretty well with Simon. Is he a solid brick shithouse himself? Yes, that’s a compliment. He’s solid and strong. A regular rock of Gibraltar. A man who is an island entire of himself... John Donne was wrong. How about that? Simon knows more than not only Bob Dylan, but John Donne as well. He’s an island, Dylan is a poet.