It’s somewhat ironic that Simon Cowell of American Idol... uh, notoriety, has stated that Bob Dylan’s music “bores him to tears.” Moreover, “…the Bob Dylans of this world would (not) make American Idol a better show.” Cowell went on to say he preferred Kelly Clarkson and that he had “never bought a Dylan record.”
Well, wow.
Should we all be devastated by the king of — how shall we put this gently? — mediocre pop that vanishes in a poof when the show ends? As Dylan would say, and I really couldn’t say it better, “The radio makes hideous sounds.” (Disclaimer: not always, certainly, but as a general rule, I don’t see much evidence of a major social change or movement the way Bob Dylan influenced us at any time during his life.)
One cannot take Cowell’s comments regarding Dylan as any serious criticism or something to be considered as other than what they really are beneath the surface - this is just another boring barb and snipe from the ever-so boring pithy and pissy and predictable Simon Cowell who likely just said it to garner publicity for himself and ride on Dylan’s coattails (which is disgusting — shame, shame Simon) .
After all, this is Simon Cowell for heaven’s sake — he who sits with his growingly flabby cheek propped on one elbow and his super-size Coke on the table before him. (How are the endorsements coming along Simon?) Have you made your millions? Certainly you have by now. You have sold your soul, sold yourself to the masses by being a pissed off ex-pat, which is easy because even I can do that as I’m proving right now. How much talent does that take? But then, you never claimed to have talent, did you, Simon, or did you? If you did, boy, would that take balls. But just being a pissed off ex-pat? That part’s easy – I can do that. Simon, you suck. Voila! Show me the money.
Back to this Coke endorsement thing (Is it Coke? Pepsi? Did they make you take a challenge?) — is that feeding you well? And how about other endorsements? Surely there are some. Are you asking yourself yet, "This is not my beautiful house, this is not my beautiful wife, how did I get here…?"
Well, you dug your own grave, Simon. As Bob might say of you Simon, “People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent.” But I doubt very much Cowell would repent. I cannot see Simon Cowell down on his knees, humbling himself for anyone because he’s just too high and mighty for that. He’s a brick house as they say. He likes that song. As I recall, a contestant sang that last season and it seemed to fly pretty well with Simon. Is he a solid brick shithouse himself? Yes, that’s a compliment. He’s solid and strong. A regular rock of Gibraltar. A man who is an island entire of himself... John Donne was wrong. How about that? Simon knows more than not only Bob Dylan, but John Donne as well. He’s an island, Dylan is a poet.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - alessandro nicolo
No kidding. That was rich considering how he earns his money.
2 - Glen Boyd
Glen Boyd On Simon Cowell: Pompous ass
=Glen
3 - GL Hauptfleisch
It's just Simon criticizing what he can't understand...
4 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
to all: thanks for the read, as ever. I really wondered about writing this piece because Cowell just did this to get publicity (i'm pretty sure of that and my writing this just gives him what he wanted and they same bad publicity is better than no publicity). But to that end, what i really feel is that if that is true, then Simon, the truth will be this, and yes, this is just my opinion, but so far, it sounds like many of you agree (or those who spoke up): Simon: you have your fifteen minutes. You will not be here as long as Dylan has and is, nor will you be remembered. You won't even be remembered for being an ass.
Sad; to go after Dylan for publicity is just a cheap shot. The fact that he did says all he set out to disprove. What a joke. He made a mockery of himself. Whatever.
Thanks for reading,
s.r.p.
5 - J.J. Hunsecker
Right up front let me state that I am a fan of Dylan and don't care much for the music AI churns out. I do enjoy the AI elimination shows, and don't pay much attention after that.
Now let's talk about predictable. Your overzealous defense of St. Bob is comical. I understand the idea that some heretic with no interest in Dylan's music has sent you into a tizzy and caused you to lash out, but why is he not entitled to that opinion? You even admit to finding Cowell "rather amusing until he made this snipe." Is that because now your sacred cow has been mentioned in a poor light? That's a disingenuous time to jump off the bandwagon.
I read Cowell's statement and must have missed the nastiness. When he said "Bob Dylan’s music 'bores him to tears'", was he asking you to take his opinion for anything other than his opinion? Was he saying that everyone else was wrong? Was he asking you to be devastated?
And who was asking you take a Playboy interview as serious criticism? By the way, when Bob did his Playboy interview, wasn’t he trying to "garner publicity for himself" as well? After all, it is why people do interviews.
Cowell was talking about pop music of today and AI and you have written nothing that disproves his statement. There is no one comparable to Dylan (how dare I even utter it!) on the pop charts today. Sure, his album was #1 when it was released, but how many of his songs hit the Top 40? You may not like the music from AI, even find it boring, but it is obviously appealing to a good number of people. Some contestants of the show are selling plenty of albums and winning awards.
Cowell doesn't perform an ex-pat act. He is a producer, and they are brutally honest which can be unfortunate to those with delusions about their abilities. His perceived rude behavior and statements take place at auditions every day around the world, and if you've seen the first few episodes in a season you would know he usually more right than wrong.
He's not trying to nurture artists; he's trying to create pop stars, which are disposable by their very nature. He's looking at the marketplace and trying to repeat a formula, no different than a movie studio. If you think he started America's minx fixation, you really haven't been paying attention to the world of entertainment. Please point out the fat, old, or unattractive pop stars of today?
Your swipes at the show verify your pop culture ignorance because the show is a smash hit in the ratings and other networks program around it. ABC has moved Lost and Dancing with the Stars to avoid competing with it. Plus, AI isn't the only successful show Cowell has, which is why he remains in Hollywood.
Of course, you could prove him wrong by putting your money where your mouth is: start a label of singer/songwriters or pitch the networks a show about finding the next Dylan, or “indefinable artist” if that fits your sensibilities better, and see how it does. Admittedly, it is much more difficult than typing on a computer.
What's this fixation with the Coke sponsorship? Should he have held out for Victoria's Secret money like Bob? I expect producers to sell themselves, but not artists. Maybe next he could write them a jingle, "How many bras must a woman try on/ before she finds a great fit?"
At least, Cowell spoke for himself about Dylan. I would suggest you do the same in the future and not for presume to speak for "us." I don’t need affirmation from others about what I enjoy.
Lastly, you complain of Cowell riding Bob's coattails, but I am curious as to why those same sentiments aren’t extended to those that worship him.
6 - Lono
furthermore, Cowell adds:
Jesus was just alright with him, and Axl seems like a decent enough guy
a master of character evaluation!
7 - Dalester
Kelly Clarkson over Bob Dylan?!?!?! Give me a break!! But, it figures......
8 - Evan
J.J. Hunsecker
Thankyou for saying everything I wanted to say (and then some).
Sadi Ranson-Polizzotti
I'd just like to reiterate J.J.'s point about your hypocritical criticisms of Cowell concerning "selling-out" when Dylan himself (gasp) did the same thing with Victoria Secret, rendering most of your argument flaccid.
So Cowell doesn't like Dylan. So what? What did you expect? This is nothing but a giant waste of time. Shouldn't you be busy publishing a book or teaching a class?
9 - Chris Evans
I find Dylan just as boring as Cowell does. And?
You act as if it's some sort of blasphemy to prefer one artist to another, yet it would be perfectly fine if he preferred Dylan to Clarkson because you obviously love Dylan and care not for Clarkson.
Vanishes in a poof? Have you not seen the charts lately? Carrie Underwood and Kelly Clarkson are two of THE best selling artists of the past 10 years, and if anything, are SAVING the ailing record industry. They both have had HIT after HIT after HIT.
You need to take a chill pill dude. Seriously.
10 - Anthony
I thought it was funny. Seems people either love Bob or they hate him. But I guess we've known that for a long time.
"Already confessed, no need to confess again"
11 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
i think the great thing about debate, about free speech, is that we are able to have differing opinions. I don't think that necessarily puts us at odds or calls for any real personal attacks on the writer here... as for my support of Dylan, all i can say is that no, i do not go around finding the next 'pop star' as you say - (put my money where my mouth is?), i'm sorry but i didn't really follow and this may well be my own density, willful or otherwise.
All i CAN say is that i will put my money and do put my money where my mouth is (or rather, OTHERS put my money where my mouth is by paying m to lecture about Dylan at various university programs on, of all things "Pop Culture."
Now that is an interesting construct when you think about it. If Dylan has made popular culture and there are entire classes devoted to him at which i've been invited to teach (seriously, i know it sounds weird... i thought it was weird too... ), but then it would suggest that places like NYU and The New School consider Dylan to BE popular culture.
So it becomes confusing. Who is popular culture? What makes up popular culture at this moment? Is it what Simon Cowell points his finger at and says, "A-Ha!" or is it really what has lasting power and has affected so many people in different ways?
Look, i don't claim to know the answers to all of these questions - i just know that there is a lot of attention paid to Dylan an articles every day and a major solid fan-base or base of serious scholarship at this point.... hence the courses. I only wish I had this when i was in school - or maybe not.
For my part, I studied philosophy and journalism as a double major and graduated with a bachelor of science (not an odd combination if you think about it). One needs one to do the other.
I don't teach Dylan as a regular course, though i must say, I am truly, truly honored in much the same way i am honored that anybody takes my Lewis Carroll work seriously and that means a great deal to me as much as Dylan for he too has become a huge part of the popular culture (still selling more copies than any other book to this day, each year, other than Shakespeare and The Bible). So both men interest me for the some similar reasons - they resonate.
I don't believe that Cowell has that lasting power. I teach book editing at grad. school and what i tell my students first class is this, Before you acquire any book, th first thing you should ask yourself is this; will it be as relevant twenty years from now as it is today?
I think one can say that of Dylan. He's already proven that so it's easy. As for American Idols and Cowell, well, he hasn't had his twenty years yet has he? So time will bear it out, but if he were a book, I would pass. I don't believe he will be as relevant twenty years from now. I think he's a fleeting trend and while it may be entertaining, that's what it is and that's fine - but that's all it is.
We may agree to disagree as one adult to another and i respect your view, but please, respect mine as well. I've presented my views not only in my article, but more in my comment here (which i could have included in the article), but since you asked - or i felt pushed - then so be it.
Be well, and thanks.
s.
12 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
JJ:
FYI;
If i wasn't clear (and this since you asked) I am teaching two classes (one on Book Editing on the graduate level and one on Popular Culture at the graduate level, that yes, covers Dylan) and also, yes, i am writing a book (two) that are under contract already.
One is a biography of Lewis Carroll and is with a NYC publisher that is based out of London and is worldwide. If you must know the name of the press, it is continuum-books>.
This is not something i really wanted to get into, but you sort of forced me into it by asking both questions and i saw your comment second and addressed the Dylan class first but th Carroll book (Biography), yes, is already under contract is due to the publisher in March, 2008, which i imagine means they want it on their Fall list. My Editor is the Senior Editor of the series there for the Biography series. If you need to know more, please contact me directly through my site.
I really don't like talking about this a whole lot... teaching is hard and writing books is hard work. Right now i have three going, one with my agent, one with a publisher and a third i just started but i don't have the time to evn really attend to with everything else.
That's my life. And then there is all of the articles etc that i just feel like writing because i find it a release and a break of sorts ...
thanks,
s.
13 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
JJ:
maybe this comment did not come through. It looks like it did not. I am teaching a class. One on Book Editing at the graduate level and another on Popular Culture where i guest lecture and yes, on Bob Dylan. So i guess Bob Dylan is part of Popular Culture in the eyes of NYU and The New School etc.
As for books, I am publishing a book under contract (signed, sealed, delivered, a sure thing) with continuum-books>, based out of London, but with a huge NYC presence and worldwide offices. My editor is the series editor of Biographies and is the senior ed. of the house. I also have my other book with my agent in NY which is making the rounds - my first book was already published when i was younger and sold more in Europe but is available in this country, but the Carroll Biography is expected to be a big book from what the pub. tells me.
You asked. I don't think it's great saying all of this, but you did ask. I write these articles when i want some down time and i run a Dylan site and again, I lecture in graduate school on Dylan and am interviewing D.A. Pennebaker. YOu did ask.
cheers,
s.
14 - Jack Dharma
It's a sad comment on modern culture that millions of people sit for hours watching a karaoke contest. At least at the local bar, you can get a beer and, perhaps, hors d'oeuvres and company.
15 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
Evan:
I keep repeating myself and I’m bored and you’re surely bored by now as well. I A teaching two courses; one on book editing on the graduate level an done on popular culture in which I lecture about Dylan and yes, I have a full-length biography of Lewis Carroll under Contract (read: signed, so it’s already a done deal).
So when you say “Shouldn’t you be busy publishing a book or teaching a class…” The answer is, I’m doing both and then some. I do this (write articles) in my “down time” when I feel like and I also run a Dylan site.
So yes, I already do what you said I ought do.
Yes?
S.
16 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
Chris:
And? Modern Times has been a huge seller….Look at Amazon: it is No. 15 in Music.. The others you list do you not even rank as high-sellers, not in the top 15, not as of today.
Chill pill or otherwise, these be the facts.
17 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
JJ - (we're having a real dialogue here...), but back to it... I left out some vital info. in last comment... so here goes:
You said, JJ:
"St. Bob?"
Okay. "Overzealous" - I thought it was Cowell who was, in his lacking in affect and dead boring way, overzealous when he went out of his way to say that Dylan was "boring." It seemed gratuitous. Why bother? If Cowell really was that bored, he's leave off. Just as in love, one leaves off when one is ultimately disinterested. That's how you know the affair is over.
My interest in this is my curiousity (which i admit, killed the cat, and i'm certainly taking it for this, but whatever), that Cowell even bothered, especially given that givens (well, to me the obvious givens, which i won't reiterate.)
Cowell could be amusing, yes, I admitted that because I'm fair... read: fair, or I think I am (I see you do not), and his comment ssomewhat amusing, but behind them thre has always been a nastiness that was uncalled for that certainly left me a bit uncomfortable, but to really go after someone for no reason - someone who is not trying out for his show (been there, done that), now that strikes me as gratuitous.
I see what you mean about his Coke endorsements, but hey, let's face it. Bob never claimed to be anything other than what he is: someone who would do anything to get what he wanted and a song and dance man. So what if he did a Victoria's Secret ad? He never made any bones about it? He was clear about it and open about it. More, his entire life he has spun myth and told stories (so much that he even made up a name for himself) that he created an entire bullshit persona - so come on, we all know that Dylan would and did do whatever it took to get where he wanted which is, yes, in many ways Machiavellian, if you want to look at it that way. He stole songs from old blues songs, he borrowed from country and Celtic songs, he claimed songs as "his own"; god, what did he not do, but at the end of the day, Dylan came clean about it and made no bones about it. He set out to become famous and he did. He said he would; he did. That simple. IF that meant endorsing some chick in a bra walking down a runway with pair of fluffy wings while he played guitar, well, hey... maybe he needed a buck or two. But he was honest about it.
What bothers me about Cowell is that he takes this rather, and correct me please if I am wrong here, this rather pompous road of "I'm taking the high road" and looking for 'real talent' and not looking to make a buck through endorsements or my program (which, com on, he's making millions), but he's on some "higher mission" because "there is Only One American Idol."
Listen, there are thousands of talented singers and musicians out there, right? Do you agree? Do they all get their due? Of course not. Very few do. I can name a bunch right off the top of my head who I feel never got their due and never made the money or the fame they really deserved - and yet they had real influence on the music scene but Kelly Clarkson is better? IT may not be a competition, but Cowell has made it into one. Let's face it.
What about Big Star? What about The Minutemen? Billy Bragg? Margo Timmins of The Cowboy Junkies who has a clarity and purity of voice like none I've ever heard and all recorded in a church in what, one cut? I could go on and on... But they are not the American Idol - they never entered? Okay, Billy Bragg we'll cross off the list for obvious reasons, but there are so may I can think of The Replacements and moving on Paul Westerberg - and Alex Chilton and it all traces back etc tc... But what do I know.
There's only one American Idol, I suppose, and Cowell has it pegged - it's a shame so much talent is over-looked in the process and that the roots and origins are overlooked as well. I wonder if he even knows; maybe this too bores him.
I dunno.
Oh, the next artist you say? My job is to find the next writer... and as someone who ran a publishing house for many years, I actually did do that and as a publisher and editor, so did my husband as well. If you want both of us, he and I to put our money, or me, as you say, to put my money where my mouth is, then private message me through my Website - I'd be glad to tell you the writers I have discovered (along the lines of Maxwell Perkins who as you know was a great editor and while I would never claim to be him, I will say that I did discover some great new talent that has gone on to great success. Anything else I say, and you asked all of the right questions by the way and set me up, would be, of course, "bragging". So, to that end, you should message me through my site. And I would be happy to tell you the list and the reviews that each author garnered in the major press.
s.
18 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
Dalester: finally....! Thanks...
19 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
p.s.: it looks like some of these comments came through twice or some not at all... If your comment went unanswered, please ping again and i will answer it since i kept a list of all answers when i realized there was a glitch. Sorry for double posts.
thanks.
s.
20 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
lono - yep.
21 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
JJ - i'm not sure if my comments are coming through or not... in any event. i'll leave it alone... enough said. There is no "St. Bob" nor is there a "St. Cowell." And yes, i lecture on Pop Culture. I'm sorry. I can't help what i'm called to do. I just do it. That's all. That's just the thing... not trying to be snippy, just a fact. Anyway, you don't seem mean, i'm just not sure why you're so vehemently after me... Maybe i'm missing something. But then... that's okay too. We all miss something now and again. Even Cowell. EVen Bob. And don't try to define me. I don't like it, and if you do know Bob, as you say, and i believe you do and like him (why wouldn't I?), then you know that he too did not and does not like being defined. Nobody does... being fit into a neat social register because you're hard to fit into a neat little template does not mean you should be forced. But it doesn't equal boring. Nobody attacked Cowell. He struck first, and as such, he asked for a response. That's all... I'm rushing now. Seriously - i have to dash to class. But hope yer well. Yes, i mean that.
22 - Evan
sadi ranson-polizzotti
Aren't you ashamed to pontificate so?
First of all, the phrase "Shouldn't you be busy publishing a book or teaching a class?" is clearly sarcastic. I didn't want your curriculum vitae nor am I impressed by your achievements, which you list repeatedly to no end.
"I really don't like talking about this a whole lot"
Oh really? It sure seems like you do.
My issue with you is that, while believing yourself to be an authority, you express a negative sentiment towards youth and current pop culture, which only serves to illustrate your lack of authoritative status on the subject. I'm sorry, but just because you're published, are currently writing however many books, and are a prof. does NOT make you infallible, and your (yes) tireless overzealous self-promotion and Dylan campaigning reveals clear biases which brings anything you say into further question.
Furthermore, your defense that Dylan "would and did do whatever it took to get where he wanted" is laughable at best. This does not seperate him from any other artist, and certainly not from Cowell.
"'but he's [Cowell's] on some "higher mission" because "there is Only One American Idol.""
Oh, yeah, that's why there's been what, 6 seasons of American Idol? I see no evidence of a so-called "higher mission", in fact, I think it's quite clear that he's looking for people to fit a mold so he can construct a marketable personae that the target demographic will eat up. This has worked before.
I love Dylan. I think he's a remarkably important figure in the history of music, as well as serving as a great link to past traditions, but hey, I also adore Kelly Clarkson as many do, and for a moment thought she was "saving pop music". I'm tired of your elitism.
"What about Big Star? What about The Minutemen [...] But they are not the American Idol - they never entered?"
So, now your problem with American Idol is that it doesn't reward people who don't even enter?
I've never read your books, but from the content of your "articles" on Dylan that have appeared on this site, I've seen no evidence of any actual analytical, observational, or insightful content. Instead all I see is shouting when no one's listening, and a lot of tired dogma condemning current pop culture for what you deem to be it's transgressions.
23 - sadi ranson-polizzotti
yes, your sarcasm came through the ether...
shame you aren't doing same; maybe then you'd stop this crap.
i'm outta here.
24 - oh mercy
Not really going to jump in the fray here. SC is not known for depth... unless an acidic tongue and a tight black tee shiert is now what passes for depth in our "culture."
But as far as Dylan "selling out" in his infamous Victoria Secret ad, I see it differently. I think he did it for precisely the reason that is so well illustrated here. People talk. Dylan always seems to push against the stereotype of what people think he "should" be.
and as far as the whole concept of "selling out" goes... well, I've never understood it. I mean what is all the fuss about? When BD went electric... accused of selling out, when he embraced Christianity publicly... again, selling out, when his music became less overtly political (though if you pay attention the same care for the underdog rings through still) again, selling out. And on it goes.
The same with lots of artists of everystripe. So many are accused of selling out. What is the point. If you believe in the work you are doing you would naturally want it to reach the biggest audience it can reach. Are all the "stars" in Hollywood selling out because they aren't struggling in small theater groups so far off Broadway it is in Illinois or Wisconsin? Come on.
Dylan is an artist, and a fine one, the finest in my opinion. As far as the big stink about him "stealing" music... bullshit. An artist takes what is and makes it his own. There is nothing new in the world as the cliche goes.
"If there is an original thought out there I could sure use it right now." dylan said that. LOL
BTW, I have read several of your dylan columns and have always enjoyed them primarily because of your unabashed love and enthusiasm for my imaginary boyfriend.
:)
Maybe your defence was a little over the top in this particular piece... but I have been know to write a vicious email or two in defense of BD... who does not need my defense at all.
Perhaps I am really defending my love of the guy... or not love, but admiration, respect, Oh hell... LOVE. There, I said it. So what.
There is a good column on Huffington Post Blog on this whole BD-SC thing. If you have time go take a look.
The funny thing is BD is probably completely unaware of the whole situation.
the best to you.
25 - oh mercy
PS
here is the link for the column on Huffington Post.
my comments are from "accountability" so you see I am very impassioned about his bobness.
BTW, I loved when I read that your husband said he knows BD is still your secret boyfriend, or words to that effect.
I knew we would become imaginary friends.
LOL
(no, not stalking you.)