The Complexities And Revelations Midst Conor Oberst's Fringe
So she's sat on the edge of the bed, and what she's sayin is "See, it's not that you're crap or nothin, cause really, I've had worse in my time, fairly sure, s'just that it might make things a bit more interesting."
And I'm noddin, cause it does get a bit repetitive, the old in-out-up-off-asleep routine. I'm sayin about it's ok, I understand why you'd maybe want me to dress up like a priest or maybe a man who arrived five minutes late for the bus and ends up walkin round mutterin to himself about how he'll fuck the eyes of every watchmaker in Holland fore he'll trust a clock again.
She smiles the kinda smile reeks a lust for Bruce Campbell, and so The Duke wanderin round the bedroom looking for something might elongate the jaw a tad, least for the three minutes the procedure takes to perform.
Getting the chainsaw out the cupboard, flinging some bloodied towels round one fist, one eyebrow tied to the ear wi a length a string just a touch too short.
And everything goin so well till the tables turn and the lady wants to know why you're combing her hair all down over one side of her face.
I can't see, she's saying, the hell is this mania you're indulging, anyhow?
I don't want this acoustic guitar, I can't play a damn note.
The fuck is this business, last time I saw a four-track in the bedroom I ended up getting excommunicated.
Turns out the last thing a lady wants to hear is a fella whisperin in the ear along the lines of "Oh Conor" or "Conor you randy shit" or "Hell's fire, Conor, this is some science-defying filth right here."
Turns out it's the last thing a fella expects to happen, also.
And sat in the wake of it all, "Take It Easy (Love Nothing)" by Bright Eyes on the stereo, Conor Oberst, he's saying all about;
"So I sat down wrapped myself up in the sheets,
And I must have looked like a ghost cause something frightened me
And since then I've been so good at vanishing"
And a wound on the pillow where the lady's sleepin head should be resting, damn all for it but to draw up some graphs, pie-charts, statistical analysis concerning this whole Bright Eyes obsession, this whole hoopla stemming from the eye peekin through the fringe in the right light.
Article comments
1 - Aaron Fleming
Excellent stuff! We'd all be lying were we to deny a glance towards a person, and a "hmm", and then a "NOOO" when the maleness is revealed.
And it is a great fringe after all.
2 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
ha exactly! and thank you, also, sir fleming. i must apologise for the repetition of certain anecdotes in mondo podcast 13, but the tale could scarsely unfold without them.
3 - Mat Brewster
Fag! Nah, just yanking your chain, Duke. Or would you like that? Yeah I bet you would like me to yank your chain ever so sensually. Pulling harder and harder until...
Hey, uh how you doing?
Sorry, I just got to looking at my wall full of Aaron McMullan pictures and got lost in my own fantasies...
...I mean, uh, good post Duke.
4 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
hahaha! Mat, you ol' dog. no, i think what needs to be created is some new sexual orientation specific to this particular connundrum. Hetero-Conorist perhaps. sounds like some kinda political philosophy waitin to be minted right there.
Maybe Bill O'Reilly could do a report. "As the Hetero-Conorists would have it...", 'cept he might wanna develop some slang term. like he would say "the secularists...", what he might wanna talk about instead is "the straight-f*g-fringe-f*ckers". maybe. i dunno. you know what he's like, that Bill.
5 - Mary K. Williams
The Duke says: "certain anecdotes in mondo podcast 13"
When is #14?? (Hint hint)
6 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Mary, m'dear, t'is a long and complex tale. what it boils down to is that no less than 3 almost totally different versions of podcast 14 exist on the hard drive, an none a them are for the ears a anyone but me. i hope to have a listenable version sorted by the weekend. HOPE, i say. first, i made a loada references to a relationship i was in, then, by the time i had it ready to go online, the relationship was dead. so i re-recorded it, but this time it was just shit. so again, and closer to reasonable. but still fairly far from decent. here's hopin i'll be able to complete it to some sort a standard a worthwhile-ness.
7 - DJRadiohead
Duke, Duke, Duke, I just don't comprehend it at all. Not even a little. I want to fuck Conor slightly less than I want to listen to his records. The Duke has a mancrush and it's that cunt Conor. The brain is right bruised at the thought.
That said... love the post. The setup for this was fantastic.
8 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Thank you DJ, best not to ponder these thoughts at any sorta length. a friend has since revealed to me that the scientific term is "selective bisexuality", which sounds a bit too myspace poser-ish for my likin, so im stickin wi Hetero-Conorist.
Your lack of adoration for Conor an his wonders still baffles me...