“She belly-flopped in front of a car wearing a suicide note... just another case of a geek trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably.” — Shannen Doherty, Heathers
Last month’s issue of Spin ruined my day. I opened my mailbox to find Gerard Way’s stupid pasty Bowie-wannabe face staring at me from the pitch-black chasm of his metal coffin, suffocating among the unpaid bills and slicing his wrists on credit card offers. “Kids were gonna kill themselves. Then they heard our music,” blurbs the My Chemical Romance frontman. Funny — that’s how I feel when I hear My Chemical Romance — l like I want to do myself in.
The article goes on to give quotes from a bunch of weasel-faced wankers on message boards such as ImNotOkay.net. My favorite was “I even wrote my suicide letter. I even planned a date that I was going to kill myself. But then, My Chemical Romance came into my life.” I hear that phrase a lot on Sunday morning talk radio, only instead of My Chemical Romance, it’s Jesus, and there’s no chance Gerard Way is the savior — patron saint of mopey mallrats, sure, but certainly not the He Who Will Redeem.
“What the world needs now is some new words of wisdom, like la la la la la la la la la” — Cracker, “Teen Angst (What the World Needs Now)”
I say, if all it takes is some asinine song lyrics and some black eyeliner to save your life, you probably weren’t that suicidal anyways. The music industry is cashing on the surging popularity of teen angst, manufacturing it so that if you’re not miserable, you’re obviously, “suppressing the darker side” to be “the happy bunny” this so-called “everyone” wants you to be. Horizontal arm scars are a fashion trend much like skinny jeans, (and just as ugly) and your most recent suicide attempt is a lunchroom buzzword.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Benjamin Cossel
Fucking Brilliant.
2 - Ashley Mitchell.
"I say, if all it takes is some asinine song lyrics and some black eyeliner to save your life, you probably weren't that suicidal anyways."
That was rather ignorant.
I have no idea what you know about suicide or what your experiences are with it, but as for your experiences with My Chemical Romance, you're completely and utterly wrong. They're not just "some asinine song lyrics and some black eyeliner", they're a band with an amazing potential to do things that others can only dream of doing. The message they put out is a positive one - they encourage kids to seek help if they're depressed, or suicidal. The fact that they might look menacing or repulsive to some narrow-minded people in this world is another matter altogether. Everyone has his or her own opinions but really, get your story straight.
"Quotes and lyrics deliberately used without permission--what are you gonna do, cry about it?"
Ah, one last bout of ignorance to shove out there I see. I'm thinking that you read too much of the Daily Mail. Just recently My Chemical Romance have been in more than a few newspapers, being held responsible for what 'Emos' do, which is apparently 'wearing small t-shirts' and sporting 'black hair'. And of course, slitting their wrists.
Give me a break.
What you're saying here is making about as much sense as they were saying there - it's absolute rubbish.
It seems to me that all you're really doing is jumping on the bandwagon here. My Chemical Romance is a band that has gone through stuff like any band does, like any person does, and they've overcome it like anyone else. However, maybe because of the way they dress, or the way they act, or because their words are misinterpreted by money-grabbing journalists with no experience whatsoever, they've been slated time and time again, being wrongly accused of this, that, and the next thing.
You've made what some might call 'harmless fun' at a band that really doesn’t deserve it. And as for the kids who look up to them, well, if you think this is meant to change their minds then you're wrong. Again.
Get your facts right next time, and maybe then you'll earn a little more respect. Because for the time being it's almost painfully clear that you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.
3 - Michael J. West
Last month's issue of Spin ruined my day.
I know what you mean. My day is ruined every time I see a new issue of Spin. "Oh, for the love of Holy God!" I say. "They're still publishing Spin? Why?!"
As for the rest of your article, well, let me simply add another quote to your arsenal of them here:
"'It may be bleak, but the music is really getting to the crowd.'
'Eh, making teenagers depressed is like shooting fish in a barrel.'"
" Lisa and Bart Simpson
4 - tterbed
Right On! Your views on this crap are correct. All they are are a whinny bunch of babies who never intended to off themselves. But there is more too it. They are also very manipulative, in an abusive way. The terror they cause their families by cutting themselves and talking of suicide is ABUSE. Flat out ABUSE. No worse than a drunken parent beating the crap out of their child.
5 - Toby
Brilliant.
You need to fight to get what you want in this world. Not whine.
6 - Katie
sobbing over tepid lyrics like those found in "Drowning Lessons:" "From the times that I've killed you and then/We can wash down this engagement ring/With poison and kerosene/We'll laugh as we die/And we'll celebrate the end of things/With cheap champagne."
while I don't agree with most of your arguement, this is just plain stupid. The song is 5 years old, of course it's going to suck. That song hasn't been on a setlist in at least a year and a half. And frankly, they only have one song that directly talks about suicide, "Headfirst for Haloes". That was written as a joke, while high.
if you're going to try to make a point, at least get the facts right.
I have to agree though, 90% of My Chemical Romance fans suck.
7 - Retro Music Chick
"I am alone. . . . . . I am UTTERLY alone"--Lydia Dietz in Beetlejuice.
I love you all. Thanks for the Simpsons quote, Michael, you loveable bastard. Benjamin, you're right, I AM fucking brilliant, and you're brilliant just for reading me. Tterbed, you're DEAD on. Toby, keep fighting the good fight. As for you, Ashley and Katie, I love you the most because you two played right into the troll trap I placed for you. Thanks babes!
XOXO,
Your Retro Music Chick
8 - Al Barger
Dear Retro Music Chick- You are wicked and evil, a heartless monster. I think I love you.
A lot of this nonsense seems to be an unfortunate side effect of being rich fat Americans. They mostly don't have anything but petty little "cracker problems" as Chef would say, and they're got the leisure to sit around moping and making stuff up.
I bet a week living in Darfur and fleeing government death squads would snap some of these goth motards out of their narcisstic self-indulgence.
9 - Ashley Mitchell.
Troll trap?
Get a grip.
Really, you're nothing but nonsense.
10 - jnk
that's why hardcore music is so much better than emo sell-outs. Hardcore is all about being positive and standing up for what you beleive in. Fuck emo.
11 - Retro Music Chick
Dear Al,
I love you too. Let's get married. Gerard Way said he'd play at our wedding, but he won't be happy about it.
Dear Ashley,
As nonsensicle as someone who keeps replying to an essay they hate? *pinky finger to side of mouth*
Dear J,
Rock on. Or hardcore on. Whichever.
XOXO,
Your Retro Music Chick
12 - Al Barger
Retro Chick- I think the only proper way to mark our marital union would be to have Morrissey sing at the reception - and finally at long last kill himself on stage.
I'm imagining that might end up like the Woodland Critters Christmas on South Park - "Blood orgy, blood orgy!"
13 - Mark Saleski
The terror they cause their families by cutting themselves and talking of suicide is ABUSE. Flat out ABUSE. No worse than a drunken parent beating the crap out of their child.
this is a fun (and funny) article...but i can't let this particular comment pass.
i know someone who works in a shelter for girls. cutting behavior does go and for the most part, nothing is made up. go ahead a tell a girl who's been locked in a closet (for weeks on end!) by her parents to just cheer up....or maybe another who's been sexually abused by her father on a regular basis.
yea, just cheer the hell up, will ya??!!
pathetic.
14 - zingzing
actually, i knew a girl who cut herself. she did so because she was very emotionally crippled, i think. she wasn't some silly teenager. i don't know everything about how she grew up, but i'm sure there was verbal abuse. (christian household.) she acts out in all sorts of ways, has violent mood swings and trouble controlling herself in various ways. i caught her once in the bathroom and confronted her about cutting herself. it was not a pretty scene. if someone is cutting him/herself, it is a symptom of a larger, more dangerous and very real problem. teen angst only goes so far.
also, this girl had very good music taste and wouldn't be caught dead listening to this crap. and she rarely wore heavy makeup. she did wear silly socks with individual toes.
15 - Ashley Mitchell.
The reason I'm replying to this is because you're unoriginal and need to come up with better gags next time. Or whatever you want to call these accusations.
Although it does make no sense for me to keep replying, but I'm determined like that. or stupid, some might say. Either way, I know what I'm talking about and you don't.
16 - Sure.
Thank you for making me vomit inside my own mouth.
Instead of picking on a band, who you're obviously jealous of, go get a day job. Because you have way too much time on your hands.
"Think about it--you don't care about anybody else, so why would they waste their time caring about you?
I say, do it. Up the street, kid, not across the highway... Go on, apparently, all the cool kids are doing it."
You're a hypocrite. You're bashing these guys for supposedly promoting self-harm, then you yourself do it.
Suicide isn't funny, but making fun of it makes you a lot of things I have the decency not to type out.
Seriously remove the stick out of your rear end.
Kthnx.
17 - me!
Oh you haters, quiet yourself. Retro Music Chick landed a blow squarely on the face of a subset of teens, and this amazing piece that she wrote is correct.
"Suicide isn't funny, but making fun of it makes you a lot of things I have the decency not to type out."
I hope that one day you can fully appreciate the fact that nothing should be off limits of poking fun at.
18 - Al Barger
Dear Sure- YOU say that suicide isn't funny, but that's just you wanting to prove your superior faux sensitivity. In fact, suicide or the idea of it can be highly amusing. Suicide is a common source of humor, even in vintage Warner Brothers cartoons.
Brother Saleski [comment 13] is as usual ever ready to play the sob sister. OK, there are a few kids locked in closets, beaten, raped daily by stepdads, etc. I'll consider sympathy for such things on a case by case basis.
But I'll bet that for every one of those, there are dozens of bored whiny rich kids like the Chris Kattan and Molly Shannon Goth Talk sketches from SNL decrying the desolation and misery of working at Cinnabuns.
19 - Sure.
Hmm... why yes suicide is so very amusing, I can't imagine why I thought differently. Let's go watch someone blow their brains against the wall or try to hang themselves. I'm sure it'll be a real riot.
As for me having 'superior faux sensitivity,' that doesn't really come over as an insult. Maybe I have PMS and my thoughts are clouded, but laughing at a person who wants to kill themselves doesn't seem to be right. Call it fake if you want, but at least I have some.
20 - Fluffeh
Amazing. Absolutely brilliant.
I truly hate the bands like MCR. I guess that my bands such as Pantera, Slayer, Lamb of God, and Otep aren't much better in eyes of people like you.
I think that emo kids should really just suicide instead of being attention whores. At least metalheads like myself aren't attention whores... we're just pissed :)
Nice article though.
21 - Fluffeh
I must reply on a general basis to some of these comments above me.
If you're a person who cuts yourself for attention, obviously that's retarded, I know a ton of rich-ass kids who just want attention, they're just the posers who want to feel loved.
Clearly, being abused by your parents is an entirely different thing. But, I can say that you're still just a weak and worthless sack of flesh if you don't buck up after awhile and get over it. Seriously.
My dad kicked me in the nuts when I was only 12 years old. It took me less than a week to get over it.
Grow up, kiddies. You're never going to get anywhere if you take solace in your self-pity.
22 - Michael J. West
I'm not sure that teen suicide is funny, per se, but I'll say this: I remember some kids in high school committing, or attempting, suicide. Not one of them, not a single one, was goth. They were mostly waspy, preppy kids. The goths' approach to dealing with teenage angest and hormone-charged mood swings seemed to be a lot of sulking and playing Nine Inch Nails CDs really loud.
In sum: Serious psychological depression and actual (successful or attempted) suicide? Not funny. Using depression and the prospect of suicide as a fashion statement? Not sure that's funny either, but it sure as shit ain't to be taken seriously.
P.S. All of that said, I'm fairly sure that if my dad had kicked me in the nuts when I was 12, he and the Louisville Slugger in my closet would have done some bonding.
23 - Caitlyn George
ok Im not emo or anything but um this is not right ok you guys dont even know the mcr fans or the guys. I mean My chem are nothing but a bunch geeks that really care about their fans and know how they feel for excample gerard used be a fat depressed drunk kid then when he got older he said to himself "i got to stop this before i hurt myself" but they do not I repeat DO NOT cut or hurt themselves. and gerard kids alot so thats not true. And if you really respect god and stuff I wouldnt be jugding these people if were you like the bible said "Judge not ye be judged." Io I suggest you do more research and get you story right.
24 - Simone Jackson
This is a bunch of crap.
Get a grip.
25 - Michael J. West
Ahh, to be a teenager. Kids, you who are commenting here, do yourselves a favor: bookmark this site. Then come back when you're 25, so you can be amused at yourself at 17.
Terribly mean-sounding, I know, but also terribly true. I wouldn't have believed it back in the day either, but hey! There it is.