In a move Nirvana fans have been dreading since it was announced that Courtney Love had sold a fraction of a portion of a bit of a segment of a percentage of the Nirvana catalog to Primary Wave Music Publishing, SC Johnson announced today that it has secured the rights to the Kurt Cobain-penned song “Drain You,” which the company will feature in a series of commercials for its Drano product.
According to Richard Bendinbraker, Senior VP of Inappropriate Lyric Re-Appropriation at SC Johnson, the song’s lyric "It is now my duty to completely drain you" will be featured in a series of 30-second commercials, with the altered slogan "It is now my duty to completely Drano." The lyric itself will be sung by a giant Drano bottle, dressed in Cobain’s signature flannel shirt and torn jeans made famous in the Smells Like Teen Spirit video.
“Too many people from my generation view Kurt in the wrong way, as nothing more than a junky with a guitar and overwrought, maudlin personal angst,” Bendinbraker said in a press release. “However, Kurt was much more than that. Instead, he was a junky with a guitar and overwrought, maudlin personal angst who wrote catchy tunes that can be crassly commercialized and repackaged for disgusting product placement.”
Gerald Huntington IV of Primary Wave insists the commercials will remain tasteful and respectful of Cobain. “Some people have already accused us of dry-humping Kurt’s legacy like a horny junkyard dog in August, but that’s simply not fair. These advertisements will pay tribute to Kurt’s genius, creativity, and lasting impact on the American musical landscape. That, and his blessed ability to generate revenue even as a bone-dead rocker so that I can afford that second summer home in Maui.”
“This opens the door for a series of other bold opportunities for our company,” Huntington IV continued. “Already we’re in negotiations for licensing other Nirvana songs, including “Territorial Pissings” for Roto-Rooter, “Big Cheese” for Velveeta, and “Come As You Are” for Big Bob’s Adult Video Emporium of Sheboygan. It’s an incredibly positive development for both the Nirvana legacy and fans of Nirvana’s textured, complex, and unimaginably marketable music.”
Article comments
1 - Al Barger
Good job, Eric. You really brought home with those last three paragraphs skewering the shallowness of the Nirvana fans, which comes off even considerably worse than the ad agencies.
2 - Christopher Rose
Funny stuff - and thanks for sticking it to both sides!
3 - Dana dddd
Kurt's music, NIRVANA should just be listened to by people who are fan's of NIRVANA and not by people who want to get money out of their fame, music!