The Kids are also comfortable with their place in music history. “We’ve blessed the world with offspring like 98 Degrees and the Backstreet Boys. And don’t even act like Nirvana didn’t borrow their subject matter from our back catalog. A subtle layer of angst and loathing ran through all our songs long before Cobain and those two other humps cashed in. Bastards should be paying us royalties,” Donnie stated.
This defiant attitude characterized the hour-long press conference; only when the motel’s manager reminded the Kids that “check-out time is at 11 am, and the room service wasn’t free” did the band lose their stride. Exiting to tepid applause and a selection from their 1989 Merry, Merry Christmas album, the band ended the press conference with a final impressive show of bravado. “It’s an NKOTB universe. All you slobs just live in it.”
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Zobiana
I find it interesting that personal attacks aren't allowed in the comments. I won't attack the writer, but if only the same standards were upheld in the blogs. I suppose it's acceptable when referring to celebrities, right? (Yes, that was sarcasm) Thank you for a little more publicity to boost the reunion.
2 - Glen Boyd
I think what the writer is attempting to do here Zob is humor. Smart-assed, snarky humor to be sure, but humor nonetheless. Whether Whelchel suceeds at this or not is of course a matter of conjecture. But the fact is that he got you to respond didn't he?
And ya' gotta admit, NKOTB getting back together all these years later makes for an irresistable target.
-Glen
3 - Stormy
LOL I'm a New Kids fan and have to admit this is post is very funny.
“It’s an NKOTB universe. All you slobs just live in it.”
4 - Glen
Yeah, well, Glen... Regardless of the writer's attempt, it's still more publicity, isn't it? Thanks for your input.
5 - christy
No personal attacks! That is so sad! Another blogger saddened by the fact that they are JUST A BLOGGER.(with no lunchbox)
6 - Jen
Okay, that was kinda funny. You went for the easy joke, just like 99% of the critics out there-- but hey, at least you were creative about it! The guys have a sense of humor about themselves, so I'm sure they'd laugh too.
Anyway, thanks for the publicity and you got one thing spot on: “It’s an NKOTB universe. All you slobs just live in it.”
Hell yeah. Learn it. Live it. Love it.
And no, I'm not being sarcastic.
7 - Chris Beaumont
Then I am very very sorry....
8 - Brian aka Guppusmaximus
Music has really gotten subjective now, hasn't it?!
I guess if these freaks like this shite then who am I to judge...
I can't wait for the Milli Vanilli reunion...*Oops*
9 - Dr Dreadful
The main problem I have with these boy bands like NKOTB, N'Sync and the like is that the production values on their recordings are so abysmal. They sound like they were put together in one of the band members' garages using a Bontempi 4-octave keyboard one of them got for their eighth birthday.
I look forward to boy bands breaking up, not out of Schadenfreude but because the individual band members who pursue solo careers often manage to actually produce some good music (Robbie Williams, Justin Timberlake etc).
10 - Ava
Can you write a blog explaining why it is that NKOTB are often the target of music snobs who prematurely judge their music prior to listening to it? I often find that people will like a song until they find out that NKOTB sang it. Why does that happen? Why the prejudices?
11 - Diana
While it's obvious this is a satire I have to admit some of it was funny. The guys are too humble and polite to say any of this but I definitely love the line "It's a NKOTB universe. All of you slobs just live in it." I hope you don't mind if we steal that from you Eric :)
Oh..you forgot to mention that the New Kids do well in recessions!!
12 - Jordan Richardson
"Music has really gotten subjective now, hasn't it?!"
Has it ever not been? More importantly, should it ever be objective?
13 - Joanne Huspek
Damn, man... really, really funny! I loved this piece.
14 - Electrodle
I cant even believe the way you just misquoted these guys. I smell a lawsuit...
15 - Eric Whelchel
I must say I'm actually quite surprised this mediocre piece of mine has received such a response. Who knew NKOTB had such a loyal army out there.
This article is merely meant to be satirical, and not to be taken seriously. It's merely there for a laugh or two, or maybe none if it's not your brand of vodka.
Like any satire, it might not even reflect what I really think (the folks over at the Onion probably don't believe every article they come up with). For all anyone knows, I might be a raging NKOTB fan who's totally stoked by this reunion. Of course I'm not, but that's beside the point.
16 - Glen Boyd
Surprised? Then obviously you haven't been paying attention to all the comments section action every time someone here writes ANYTHING about a boy band. (See: Jonas Brothers, Pretty Ricky, etc.)
Nah. I think you knew EXACTLY what you were doing.
-Glen
17 - Stella *
The reality is the "Kids" are back and im ok with satrical humour im soooooooo excited! For a moment in time to relive the younger years...this time i actually have $$$ for merchandise, concert tickets etc!!
Any publicity is good publicity...actually saving the PR department on their budget!!(consider today vs '89)
Even the negative attacks/blogs, seems to have served its purpose because it succeeded in attracting people here in the first place!
Jordan K...how about we do the wild thing???
18 - Linda
In response to you Eric, while your article was mildly *emphasis on midly* amusing,and yes even I , a Jordan Knight/NKOTB fan for 23 almost 24 years, got a chuckle out of it,I should like to caution you for future NKOTB coverage, that My Fellow Blockheads and I do not take Kindly to the Fab Five from Boston being made fun of. It wasn't funny when we were 12, and totally obsessed with them, and it isn't funny now, when we are, for the most part, either in our 30's ,or on the edge of 30, and while still devoted to the band that produced the soundtrack to our youth, not exactly obsessed. If you want to be inundated with hateful,irritated and sometimes down right mean comments on your blog from angry NKOTB fans, then by all means, go ahead laugh,make fun, it's ok,really, because when NKOTB comes back stronger then ever, we'll be the ones laughing.
ps'it's a new kids world and all of us BLOCKHEADS are PROUD to Live in it!'
thanks for the line, hope you don't mind if we change it for positivity purposes. remember we're all stuck in 1989, and negativity sucks!
19 - Jordan Richardson
Negativity sure does suck, Linda, but having a sense of humour sure doesn't.
20 - Brian aka Guppusmaximus
Has it ever not been? More importantly, should it ever be objective?
Now would be a brilliant time...Cuz, this shite isn't music!
21 - Mark Saleski
Cuz, this shite isn't music!
really?
prove it.
22 - RIVER
I just finished listening to Nasri's songs on his myspace and he is amazing. He is actually the reason the NKOTB is getting back together. Go check him out and have a listen you will love his music.
My favorite song is "NOT THE SAME"
He also wrote the new song "summertime" for the NKOTB.
myspace.com/nasriworld
GO NASRI
23 - Nessa
Loyal New Kids Army member here. I found the blog funny. I mean, I didn't take it seriously.
At the end of the day, positivity always wins!
24 - Jen
Wow. Some people really did take this seriously. Loyal New Kids Army, indeed. Oh well, at least they didn't go nuts on you like they did on MTV's newsroom! LOL.
25 - Tom Johnson
I think it's hilarious that people think it's actually prejudice that causes people to dislike stuff like New Kids On The Block - you all do realize we can hear this stuff, right?