Runaround Sue

People have the impression that when I was DJing those fraternity and sorority parties at UCLA, USC, and all over SoCal back in the go-go '80s, there was nothing but the mad chaos of beers, bongs, babes, and beats. Oh ye jumpers to conclusions! There were moments of near-Germanic precision. Like this one:

The air was warm, the beer was cold, the night was young, the year was old. I set up in the corner of the patio behind a large frat house at USC. Ten young men lined up in front of my system, the heterosexual embodiment of A Chorus Line.

"Are you guys ready?"

"Ready chief, are you?"

"Sure, let's go."

I started the record, climbed atop the left speaker and opened my mouth:

("ooooh")
"Here's my story, it's sad but true,
("ooooh")
About a girl that I once knew
("ooooh")
She took my love then ran around
("ooooh")
With every single guy in town"

I kneeled imploringly, singing along with Dion into a disconnected microphone. The chorus line arranged itself in a rope bridge-shaped formation, with the ends standing at full height and the center kneeling down. There were no women yet present.

I sang the fast scat part of the song between the opening and the first verse. The chorus line emulated an undulating field of grain as the first verse began:

"I should have known it from the very start
This girl would leave me with a broken heart
A-listen people what I'm telling you
A-keep away from Runaround Sue."

Midway through the verse, the squad laid down upon the ground in a circle, heads inward, forming a Busby Berkeley pattern of kaleidoscopic complexity. The Goodyear blimp passing overhead flashed "NICE FORMATION, MEN" on its screen.

"I miss her lips and the smile on her face
The touch of her hand and the girl's warm embrace
So if you don't want to cry like I do
A-keep away from Runaround Sue."

The rhythmic hand claps began in earnest as I clambered up onto the roof of the frat house like Burt Lancaster in a pirate movie. The crew then produced semaphores and signaled "COME ON DOWN FOR A BEER" to the blimp.

The "hey heys" and "oh ohs" crescendoed into a climactic "aaaah."

Article Author: Eric Olsen

Career media professional Eric Olsen is honored to be the founder and former publisher of Blogcritics.org, and former publisher of Technorati.com, which both rule. He is now editor, co-founder, and CEO of The Morton Report.

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