Watching the inauguration on Tuesday I couldn't help but get a little flutter. No, he is not our savior. No, he will not live up to all his hype, or his promises. The recession will still go on. He can bring no miracles. Still, as I saw him up there taking that oath, I believe I felt what millions of others felt:
Hope.
"If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out" - Cat Stevens
From Harold and Maude
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It was Sunday morning when we got the call. Grandmother’s kidneys were failing and if we wanted to see her alive, we’d better come. And that quick. We packed a bag and made the almost 800 mile drive to Tennessee in about 12 hours.
We arrived late Sunday evening to find the family gathered around grandmother’s hospital style bed, set up in the living room of the house she has lived in for as long as I have memories. She was not awake - or I should say she was not really conscious. We could hear her breathing, but she had made no real recognition of us, or the noise we were making. Still there was comfort in knowing she was alive and in our ability to grab her hand and whisper that we loved her.
We made vigil until around 2 in the morning, then slowly we each wandered back to our beds, couches, and chairs and drifted off to sleep. When I awoke the next morning around 8 she was already gone - in spirit as well as body as the hospice had already removed her person.
There was sadness, of course, and relief as we had been expecting this death for more than a year. Anger is there too. I have to admit I was angry that she passed while I was asleep, that no one woke me to see her go. I went to bed when she was alive and I woke to an empty bed, laying lifeless and sheetless as if no one had ever occupied it before.
Perhaps it is strange to be angry over such a thing as that, I don’t know. I just wanted to see my grandmother one more time before the funeral home got ahold of her.
Article comments
1 - Glen Boyd
I feel your pain Mat. It's been a couple of decades since I lost my own grandma ("nana"), but I remember all of it well -- the awkwardness in that hospital room, and finally the loss itself.
More recently, I got laid off (no, not from Blogcritics, but from the job that actually fed me and paid the bills), and yeah, it's pretty bleak out there. I also feel the same optimism about Obama. I supported him in the election, and I still feel like he could be one of the great ones...potentially an FDR or a Kennedy.
He does have a hell of a mess to clean up, and anybody who expects Christ-like miracles overnight is kidding themselves though. Still, I feel a lot better with him driving the boat than I would have if it was the other guy. And like you, I'm scared to death to think what happens once the severance package and the bank account (which was already damaged by another lay off last year) run dry. Scary shit.
As for Ryan Adams, once he sobers up, detoxes, or whatever he has to do this time around, I'm sure he'll be back. I mean the guy can't go two weeks without making another new album, right?
Great article.
-Glen
2 - Mat Brewster
Thanks Glen. I have high hopes for Obama, but I realize there is only so much a president can do.
I'm sure Ryan will be back at some point. I'm just glad he's going to finish this tour since I have tickets. I just hope his "retiring" doesn't mean the show will suck.
3 - El Bicho
well done