Random Shuffle - 04/02/07 - Page 2

Every semester, to wind out some of the stress of mid-terms, we would have a big cook-out. The first time was very unorganized - with only a few people brining anything, but everybody trying to eat. But as the semesters rolled we got it down to a science – ledgers for who would bring what, and vouchers for who brought, and thus who could eat.

Like schmucks though, we never caught on that starting a grill, and cooking a few dozen hamburgers, hot dogs, shrimp, and steaks took a lot of time. We’d usually start cooking around 11pm and so the festivities wouldn’t even really get started until after midnight.

One early morn, say around threeish, one young man not partying, crept out of his dorm room in nothing but his boxers and a scowl on his face. “Guys, can you keep it down?” he asked, “I’m trying to sleep, and I have to get up early.”

We apologized profusely, and promised to keep things much quieter.

Then, still with a scowl, he saw the grill and the hamburgers and asked, ”Can I have one of those?”

The scowl left pretty quickly as he filled himself on our tasty meats.

Inevitably, my roommate, would cool the festivities well into the early dawn with this James Taylor album finishing up the party with something like a bang with “Steamroller.”

“Sexy M.F.” – Prince
From Diamonds and Pearls

My first real job was for a construction company, working on an EPA project eliminating high lead content from residential yards. I worked as a property inspector/safety photographer and spent half my day out in the field and the other half in an office.

It was a fun job in many ways, and I had a really great boss – she was also a very petite, gentle-looking woman who could make a drunken sailor in Taiwan blush with her filthy mouth. I also enjoyed being able to work out in the field, and drive my own truck, while still being able to sit in the comfort of the office on particularly nasty weather days.

The problem with the office, was the office assistant. She was horrible. Literally on her second day on the job, she asked me to come help her because her floppy disk wouldn’t go into the drive – she had it turned upside down and facing the wrong way. This was the lady in charge of all our office paperwork, and she didn’t even know how to insert a floppy! There were many more problems involving her complete lack of office sense, but a big one also involved this song.

Article Author: Mat Brewster

Mat Brewster is a periodic ex-pat wondering if he'll ever find a home. You can find him musing on pop culture, and obsessing over concert bootlegs at The Midnight Cafe.

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