Eighth row can mean a lot of things. "Eighth row" is a bit nebulous. On Monday night, eighth row felt a whole lot closer than... eighth row, I guess. We climbed over the four or five people on our row not thwarted by traffic bollocks and 11 turned to me, "This'll do."
11's mind and field of vision turned elsewhere. I'm 35 and fat. 11 is a couple years younger. We're both married. To women. I only add that bit because more than once I've been told straight men don't like Coldplay . It turns out that's not true because we are and we do. It also turns out we weren't exactly a majority demographic at this particular show. Young. And female. And young.
I actually became aware of this in a completely innocent way. On this leg of the tour, Coldplay is giving away a free live CD to everyone who attends one of their shows. Those not in attendance can download the live album from the band's web site. We got to our seats with t-shirt in tow, yet never saw any of the CDs being given away. As I scanned the audience I didn't see anyone obviously carrying a CD, either. I did see something else.
I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong. I'm not a bastard. Well, I am but I'm in the clear on this one. If you're inclined to think fat, married men should not notice these things, I'm in agreement with you but here's the thing: I'm not taking the rap when more of them are uncovered than covered. I'm also claiming it as an absolute defense when the covered:uncovered ratio is augmented by, well, augmentation. I didn't go seeking them, but they weren't exactly being hidden from view and I didn't do that.
"The 2009 models must be out," I mused, to myself. I started imagining a silicone sales lot, sales pitch and all. "Good evening, miss. What's it going to take to get you into a pair of 2009s, or should I say what's it going to take to get a pair of 2009s in you? The Marylin Monroe Classic Re-issues have been top sellers and we're running low on this year's run, so keep that in mind as you make your choice." The music blaring over the PA prevented me from sharing this little inner-monologue with 11, so I elbowed him. I'm pretty sure he got the message.
As if I needed to be reminded I'm on death's door compared to most everyone else in this audience, someone decided to throw a rap song into the mix of songs being played over the PA. I was horrified at the number of kids seemingly mouthing the words and - you can call it dancing, but I don't. Speaking of dancing, one of Coldplay's roadies stopped sweeping the stage to do a little dancing on his own, entertaining the crowd. He was good enough not to be embarrassing but not good enough not to be funny.
Article comments
1 - Glen Boyd
Wow, dude...that was longer than two of my most indulgent Rockologist columns. I'm going to see these guys in July though, so thanks for the preview. And for clearing that thing up about the free CDs at the end (I downloaded it, but you still had me a little worried). Hopefully, as I'm still single we'll get the added bonus of the "2009 model" thingies in Seattle too...
-Glen
2 - El Bicho
"It would have been ironic if we'd had to go to a Coldplay show to hear a Bruce Springsteen song"
That would have been awesome since I believed I called that a few days prior