Every time I turn on the radio it seems like I hear another Christian artist covering a secular song from the past. I really donâ€™t understand the fascination.
Donâ€™t get me wrong! Itâ€™s not that Iâ€™m against cover songs. Most bands play covers in their live sets. And thereâ€™s a lot of great music out there to play. But, â€śSend Me an Angelâ€ť? Give me a break! And you know what? That song isnâ€™t even about angels. Itâ€™s about girls or something. And remember the infamous Pat Boone heavy metal experimentâ€¦well, I guess you canâ€™t fault a guy for having a sense of humor, but â€śCrazy Trainâ€ť?! Thatâ€™s just wrong, man.
Quite simply, this kind of music bastardization has got to stop. So, as a first step in remedying this problem, I came up with 10 secular artists that I believe should not be covered by Christian bands under any circumstancesâ€”ever! Here they are in no particular order.
- Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Korn, etc.â€”Upon further examination, these are all the same band, and that band is terrible, and nobody in the band can spell.
- Nirvanaâ€”The most overrated band of the past 20 years. There, I said it. Iâ€™ll stand by it, too. Plus, lifeâ€™s too short to listen to songs about being unhappy. Itâ€™s the poetry of pain and it brings me down.
- Ozzy Osbourneâ€”Youâ€™re just asking to be thrown under a bus if you cover this guy (see Pat Boone). Whatâ€™s with all the crosses? By the way, Ozzy could never be a CCM artist, he canâ€™t over-enunciate his lyrics.
- Madonnaâ€”Her music is inappropriate on so many levels. And itâ€™s fascinating that her fan base is mostly 40-something women and not 12-year-old boys.
- Evanescenceâ€”There are too may Christian rock bands out there who sound like this band. Why do people try to label them as Christian? Are they?
- U2â€”Please, please, please donâ€™t ever cover U2. Their songs are perfect the way they are. But if you must, please donâ€™t try to sound like them. You canâ€™t do it right and no one will enjoy listening to it. Trick it up. Make it your own. And donâ€™t try to sound like The Edge. Sorry, this is as objective as I can be about U2. You should have heard what I wanted to write.
- Eminemâ€”I donâ€™t get this guy and his act has already been done by people who can sing and play their own instrumentsâ€”at the same time!
- Jessica Simpsonâ€”There is no reason for any of this young ladyâ€™s music to be heard anywhere or by anyone.
- Kid Rockâ€”This guy doesnâ€™t know it but he would make a great 80s Christian artist. He makes his living sounding like a knock-off of artists from the past.
- System of a Downâ€”What do you like better, their worship or their praise?