Timbaland: Timbaland is quitting music. Y'know, like Jay-Z. err, like Eminem. Or David Bowie. Wait a minute... something smells stunty. I guess we'll just have to wait and see how the new Timba-manned Duran Duran album goes. It Might Be His Last! Better Buy Four!
Beth Ditto: Famous for being a fat, naked lesbian (seriously), The Gossip’s frontwoman is making her own fashion line for fat girls. Yay Yay! The big business world has accepted you, Beth! She'll be the pleasantly plump Avril in no time. No word on how NME is taking the news.
Prince: BMG has given Big Papa Purple the boot after he released free copies of his new CD with magazines. Now, to the untrained eye, this might appear to be BMG throwing a temper tantrum because they’ve lost their grip on the udders of what has always been a big purple cash cow. But a spokesman said that the move was made because Prince effectively hurt their feelings. It makes sense too. I can’t listen to the Purple Rain Soundtrack all the way through without tearing up a bit. C’est la vie. In other news, the magazine industry is still smilin'. Suck on that harshness, BMG.
Slash: Slash has ruffled some legal feathers for smoking onstage in the UK. Smoking. A cigarette. At a show. in the UK. A regular, nicotine cigarette. In other news, UK legal authorities have announced major headway in their new molehill-based mountain-building project. Also, it’s been reported that things are getting easier and easier out here for a pimp.
My Chemical Romance: After Marilyn Manson said that some of his lyrics were cutting remarks to the band, frontcunt Gerard Way responded that it was a hollow statement because Manson was trying to promote his new record. I also feel that MCR is a big black bag of dog-vomit, but I've got a blog to promote so my comment doesn't count either.
Also, does that mean that Manson wrote that song on the album and those lyrics on the album to promote the album? That is so meta. In other news, Gerard Way announced he would be getting married and that the band has a new album coming out.
Weezer: By keeping their hype alive with constant break-up rumors, the shittiest band to ever write a hit song has finally decided to possibly write another hit song. The album is still untitled but rest assured that I’m burning the midnight oil coming up with the most fascinating ways of calling the album a huge fucking disappointment. “Yeah, but Matt, remember how great the blue album was? What if it sounds like that?” Unless Rivers has managed to build a sonic time machine that can transport me back to the time when anything my best friend’s older brother listened to was great, I’m gonna stick to my guns on this one. The blue album was fun when I was ten years old because I was ten years old.
Article comments
1 - Anna Creech
Love the snark -- keep 'em coming!
2 - Lisa
Gerard is not getting married, as he is no longer engaged. Get it right.
3 - Raeann
I'm not sure I buy the Avril/Rubinoos one, after listening to a comparison.
Frankly, I think the problem is the shitty choice in genera - it also sounds like that Toni Basil song "Mickey" to some degree.
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Also, you're now facing a lawsuit from 50 for stealing his lyrics. I'm sure he had that copyrighted before you posted it here.
4 - Matt Dupree
So, apparently the above comment regarding MCR is correct, According to a Norwegian website which seems to have interviewed Mr. Way on July 2nd.
Unfortunately, if it's true, it only lends more validity to my implication that the engagement announcement was just another publicity stunt.
I would caution, however, against jumping to immediate conclusions, since it's a foreign internet publication and it hasn't been confirmed or denied by the band elsewhere (to my knowledge).
5 - JC Mosquito
If George Harrison can be sued for "My Sweet Lord" sounding like the Chiffon's "He's So Fine," I would think the courts would likely hear the "Boyfriend"/"Girlfriend" case.
On a similar but different story - did anyone ever hear the outcome of the copyright ownership case of the estate of Solomon Linda vs. everybody else who has a claim on the writing/publishing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight?" Aparently he and his family could have been millionaires many times over had his royalties been paid to him.
6 - erin
Wow, Lisa, you sure know a lot about MCR. I'm not sure I'd want people to know that if I were you.
7 - Christopher Rose
But, with the exception of Prince (most of the time), My Chemical Romance are far and away the best of all the artists mentioned in this funny article...
8 - Matt Dupree
Isn't that a bit like being the healthiest leper in the colony?
9 - Suze
This is ridiculus!
Gerard did get married.. and you calling them the names you have is not music journalism.. its pointless name calling and completely un-professional! Calling Gerard Way a "fruntcunt" and saying that "mcr is a big black bag of dog-vomit" is pointless and just damn rude.
you are pointless!