Sometimes amidst all the fun and merriment of the music industry, we forget what it's really all about: money. Sure, it's nice to get them toes a-tappin' and them houses a-rockin', but it don't mean a thing unless those record execs can purchase their weight in blow on a semi-daily basis. And for this reason, I bring you news from the harsher, yuppier side of the biz. This is news from the machine.
Avril Lavigne: She wins my Keanu award for bullet-dodging. First, it was sometime-collaborator Chantal Kreviazuk accusing her of stealing songs. Now, it’s late 70’s rockers the Rubinoos. I’m sure the charges are ridiculous, since there’s no way Avril fans would allow the plagiarism of a 1979 chart hit (although 99% of Avril Fans weren’t born until after 1979). Either way, Avril’s co-songwriter Lukasz "Dr. Luke" Gottwald asserts that he’d never even heard of the Rubinoos (hereafter referred to as the Plaintiffs, since Rubinoos is a stupid and slightly perverse-sounding name), a band who released hits from '77 to '84 and wrote the theme song to a remarkably popular movie about vengeful nerds.
Strangely, Dr. Luke seems to have a long history of co-writing credits including Kelly Clarkson, Daughtry, and Paris Hilton. Obviously just another coincidence. So let’s just quit the speculation and do some side-by-side comparison: Avril Lavigne: Hey! Hey! You! You! I could be your girlfriend! The Rubinoos: Hey! Hey! You! You! I wanna be your boyfriend! Night and day.
Octave Museum: Stephen Brodsky, frontman of the currently-on-hiatus Cave In, announced that his new band Octave Museum was breaking up for unspecified reasons. However, he did provide this delightfully snotty blurb that hints at possible reasons. "We would like to say thanks to all of you who supported our hopes and creativity by buying our album and enjoying it. Also, thanks to all of you who borrowed the CD to put it into your iPod thinking, 'Well, if it comes out on vinyl I'll actually pay for that,' because, you know, you totally were going to pick it up, but you were just broke that week and, you know, like, whatever, you know?"
In case you missed that, he was not-so-subtly attacking people for listening to his music without paying for it because they were broke. He later blamed a turnip for his inability to get blood out of it.
In response, I would like to make this statement on behalf of Octave Museum fans everywhere, "We would like to say thanks to Cave In for making such powerful and creative music for us to purchase and enjoy. Also thanks to Octave Museum for hopping into a recording studio and thinking, 'Well if it sells a lot of records we'll actually go and record something worth listening to,' because, you know, you were totally going to write some good stuff, but you were just uninspired that week and, you know, like, whatever, you know?"
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Article comments
1 - Anna Creech
Love the snark -- keep 'em coming!
2 - Lisa
Gerard is not getting married, as he is no longer engaged. Get it right.
3 - Raeann
I'm not sure I buy the Avril/Rubinoos one, after listening to a comparison.
Frankly, I think the problem is the shitty choice in genera - it also sounds like that Toni Basil song "Mickey" to some degree.
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Also, you're now facing a lawsuit from 50 for stealing his lyrics. I'm sure he had that copyrighted before you posted it here.
4 - Matt Dupree
So, apparently the above comment regarding MCR is correct, According to a Norwegian website which seems to have interviewed Mr. Way on July 2nd.
Unfortunately, if it's true, it only lends more validity to my implication that the engagement announcement was just another publicity stunt.
I would caution, however, against jumping to immediate conclusions, since it's a foreign internet publication and it hasn't been confirmed or denied by the band elsewhere (to my knowledge).
5 - JC Mosquito
If George Harrison can be sued for "My Sweet Lord" sounding like the Chiffon's "He's So Fine," I would think the courts would likely hear the "Boyfriend"/"Girlfriend" case.
On a similar but different story - did anyone ever hear the outcome of the copyright ownership case of the estate of Solomon Linda vs. everybody else who has a claim on the writing/publishing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight?" Aparently he and his family could have been millionaires many times over had his royalties been paid to him.
6 - erin
Wow, Lisa, you sure know a lot about MCR. I'm not sure I'd want people to know that if I were you.
7 - Christopher Rose
But, with the exception of Prince (most of the time), My Chemical Romance are far and away the best of all the artists mentioned in this funny article...
8 - Matt Dupree
Isn't that a bit like being the healthiest leper in the colony?
9 - Suze
This is ridiculus!
Gerard did get married.. and you calling them the names you have is not music journalism.. its pointless name calling and completely un-professional! Calling Gerard Way a "fruntcunt" and saying that "mcr is a big black bag of dog-vomit" is pointless and just damn rude.
you are pointless!