I wrote some derogatory, sarcastic, and downright uncouth things about some recording artists last week. And although it went largely unnoticed by the viewing public, the world’s recording artists responded by behaving in ridiculous ways. On that shaky mandate, I offer you a new set of venom, randomly directed and heartlessly executed. This is news from the machine… again.
RIAA: is paying attorney fees to two individuals who they failed to get money from for alleged downloading. Of course, the RIAA admits no wrongdoing in their life-ruining quest for bigger profit margins. After all, no amount of litigation is too lucrative to make sure that (begin finger quotes here) the artists get their fair share. (end finger quotes)
Sony: After seeing the titan RIAA bleed, über-label Sony has freaked out and turned cannibal, suing the software company that wrote the infamously invasive DRM program that not-so-surprisingly compromised the security on any system it was (secretly) installed on. Yeah, you read that correctly, Sony feels that it is owed money for all of the customers’ computers that they put at risk. God, it must be great being a corporate lawyer.
James Blunt: The most talented guy ever to sell his sister on the internet is now facing accusations that he stole some songs from a man named Lukas Burton during his stint with a management company. Lukas recalled his reaction on his blog: “I simply couldn’t believe that the universe was going to repay me with such abject treachery.” Lukas, when I listened to Blunt’s album, I felt the exact same way.
Remy Ma: Terror Squad member and intensely forgettable rhymestress Remy Ma has been involved in a shooting incident in New York. Remy Ma is denying any involvement in the attack, which is likely the most craven words ever to come from a member of a “Terror Squad.”
Article comments
1 - Mark
I'm singing "The Boy Who Became A Coat" to the tune of "The Boy With The Thorn In His Side" right now. It doesn't quite fit, but it could work. Best - heck, only - laugh I've had all week. Thanks!