Last year I did something for what would become URBMN where I linked to every top-five list that Google News linked to, in an attempt to show that critics' tastes aren't as wide-ranging as one would normally be led to believe. I found out that Pink Martini were set to take over the world (they probably have by now) and that Texarkana music fans are, by and large, idiots. Still, this seemed like too much work for not enough notoriety. I'm some nobody with an opinion, set tastes in music and a hankering to get my name out. Yes, I'm like 98% of the people who have ever written a blog. I'm well aware.
I've decided this year to come up with my own personal most/least-of lists for URBMN and Blogcritics, ones that I hope are more engaging than "Bloc Party made our white asses at The Stamford Circle Jerk dance all night" and "Kelly Clarkson's 'Since U Been Gone' is an abortion set to music." Whether this is more successful as a series of articles than what I wrote last year is up for debate. Best-of lists are fine and dandy, and I haven't paid much attention to music lately to warrant talking about it like every other newspaper music critic. To that end, here are some closeminded rants about what I don't like about "teh radio" and such. Enjoy!
THE BAHA MEN AWARD FOR POSSIBLE CAREER-NEGATING SINGLE: If Black Eyed Peas had come out with "My Humps" as their first-ever single, they would have been laughed off commercial radio. People remember Thomas Dolby for "She Blinded Me With Science," which is not representative of his work at all. The Baha Men are actually a credible world-music band, but all anyone remembers them for is "Who Let the Dogs Out" - and they've been around for more than a quarter-century. "My Humps" is a godawful novelty song, pure and simple, one that could have killed Black Eyed Peas' reputation had they not already written "Let's Get Retarded." They've become the Hanna-Barbera of hip-hop.
"The song's intentionally stupid," some people might say at this point. So is Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back," but Sir Mix-A-Lot had the advantage of being over the top. I'm supposed to take "My Humps" seriously as music. There's quite a difference between stupid and clever.
MOST ANNOYING SINGLE: Jason Mraz' "Wordplay." Is that song supposed to be cute? It's the "One Week" of 2005. I know Mraz is famous for his folk-rap songs, but "Wordplay" still seems like a novelty song that hit big on radio simply because it was a novelty song. Mraz and Barenaked Ladies pretty much trade on the same "cute, clever" pop image, and I can't escape either "One Week" or "Wordplay" when I'm listening to my local top 40 radio station. I guess it doesn't matter - Mraz sold thousands of albums on the strength of "Wordplay." That still doesn't make the song not annoying.
Article comments
1 - Aaman
Entertaining and mostly insightful commentary. Thanks
2 - Alisha Karabinus
I love The Pixies because they're fun... and I think the reason why so many people are all OMFG PIXIES RAWK right now is because we grew up listening to them. I first fell in love with the band when I was 15, and I was still way past the bandwagon (they were already gone). They were a band I loved who I'd never get to see live, and even seeing Frank Black solo (and with the Catholics) was great, but it wasn't the Pixies.
But then... then... it happened! The event I'd dreamed of for eleven years -- I got to see them!
And it was huge. Because there was such a long buildup. Does that add some perspective?
3 - GoHah
Beyond Cobain's opinion, Pixies were big influence on Nirvana's music, which speaks volumes for me if not for you.
4 - Cameron A.
I'm well aware. It just doesn't seem like a good thing that Pixies popularized that whole loud-soft-loud stream-of-consciousness-lyrics dichotomy. I don't hate the band, but the fan worship is too Big Ears Noodle Noggin for my tastes.
5 - J. P. Spencer
I love the Pixies, but make no mistake, I don't consider them the greatest musical thing of the last quarter century. They provided enjoyable and divergent listening while MTV was busy shoving the last of the hair bands down our throats for the umpteenth time in the late '80's. I think it's important to point out that I'm not a Nirvana fan at all, in case you suspect me some kind of relational bandwagon jumping.
I'm with Alisha on this. I never got to see them live in their heyday, and I was glad to finally be given the opportunity to do so.
6 - zingzing
"The Kaiser Chiefs could become legendary in their own time, or they could be the modern-day Dexy's Midnight Runners."
i'm not quite sure what you're trying to say here, but, if you are saying that the kaiser chiefs could become legendary, or the could be just another one-hit wonder like Dexy's, then you obviously haven't heard much Dexy's. They had several hits in the UK and were considered one of the better bands of their day.
each one of their three albums is a different beast altogether. their third album, Don't Stand Me Down, is an absolute classic, being a somewhat failed attempt at combining northern soul, celtic folk and epic, yet abstract, storytelling. it touches on issues of nationalism, marriage, being misunderstood and features possibly the most ambitious love song ever in "what she's like": 12 minutes of spoken word, country soul, beach boys-like passages, and a huge ending buildup where words fail him while fiddles, banjos, organs and saxophones battle it out for some sort of social/musical supremacy, only to fade together in perfect harmony. it's a fucking brilliant song on an absolutely fascinating album.
7 - DJRadiohead
Well done list. I might not completely agree on all points therein but this is a nice spin on the typical "year-end" list.
I have yet to start writing mine out yet. I guess I am going to be stodgy and do it early in '06. Well done.
8 - Cameron A.
i'm not quite sure what you're trying to say here, but, if you are saying that the kaiser chiefs could become legendary, or the could be just another one-hit wonder like Dexy's, then you obviously haven't heard much Dexy's. They had several hits in the UK and were considered one of the better bands of their day.
I'm not trying to be myopic, honestly. I'm aware of Dexy's having done better in Britain than Stateside. I'm just saying the Kaiser Chiefs could be one of the better UK acts that end up being obscure here and be noted for just the one US hit despite doing gangbusters in the UK. For instance, Madness. In the UK, they had tons of hits. Here, it's "Our House." Irritating.
9 - Rick
Not sure what your experience with Texarkana is, but what warrants you to call the Texarkana music fans idiots? Please elaborate. I see that personal attacks are not allowed in the comment section and I'm respecting that, so why are personal attacks allowed by the author? I'm sorry, I didn't get into the rest of this column so I have nothing to say about it. I will commend you on your right to exercise freedom of speech though whether it bothers me or not.
10 - Cameron A.
I hate having to reiterate this, but some Texarkanarocks.com music fans are bothered by a joke I made about them.
That's all it is, a stupid in-joke. It stems from this old Texarkanarocks.com forum topic, where the fans didn't understand a post I wrote and couldn't grasp the notion of a changed link. Frankly, I'm amazed people are this upset over one mention in a long article, but sometimes people get so reflexive over nothing.
11 - uao
The only problem with "in-jokes" is that you have to be "in" on the joke to understand it; otherwise you cratch your head and think 'wtf'.
Although the ruckus you've stirred up in Texarkana is very funny on a number of levels.
I'm thinking of starting a feud with Butte, Montana myself.
The article was a fun read, too, although the Texarkana line struck me as odd when I read it, before I got to the comments. Not being from Texarkana, and figuring it might be a cultural reference everyone knows but me, I shrugged and read on.
12 - Rick
Well, you just have to understand, I'm usually laid back about things, but, like uao said, if you're not in on the joke then you scratch your head. You are talking talking about a whole city, not just a few people so naturally folks will get offeneded. And I didn't get through the whole column because I was mildy annoyed. But I will read it now. Oh, by the way, good call on Pilotdrift.
13 - Cameron A.
Good points, uao and Rick. I thought the line was glib enough that no one would take it seriously, but it wasn't. I'm generalizing and I really shouldn't do that.
Funny thing, though - some people there actually seem to have acknowledged that Texarkana isn't a perfect scene, but it's improving. I'm amazed that a city of about 60,000 people (combining the two border cities, of course) can have as developed a music scene as it does. The only city in Ontario of that size that I've thought to be as developed musically would be Peterborough, but I better stop before I annoy people in Barrie or Kingston with my crap.
14 - Rick
I will admit, it does have more to go but has gotten alot better since I moved here about 12 or 13 years ago. When I moved here, it was country or alternative and that was about it. Now, there's alot more acceptance towards all kinds of different music (Pilotdrift being an excellent example) Hopefully a little place called The Living Room will stir up even more interest in diverse sounds. They have been trying for along time and have had a difficult go at it, but they have brought in some of the most expansive sounds that this town has seen and had some good and some bad reception.