Last year I did something for what would become URBMN where I linked to every top-five list that Google News linked to, in an attempt to show that critics' tastes aren't as wide-ranging as one would normally be led to believe. I found out that Pink Martini were set to take over the world (they probably have by now) and that Texarkana music fans are, by and large, idiots. Still, this seemed like too much work for not enough notoriety. I'm some nobody with an opinion, set tastes in music and a hankering to get my name out. Yes, I'm like 98% of the people who have ever written a blog. I'm well aware.
I've decided this year to come up with my own personal most/least-of lists for URBMN and Blogcritics, ones that I hope are more engaging than "Bloc Party made our white asses at The Stamford Circle Jerk dance all night" and "Kelly Clarkson's 'Since U Been Gone' is an abortion set to music." Whether this is more successful as a series of articles than what I wrote last year is up for debate. Best-of lists are fine and dandy, and I haven't paid much attention to music lately to warrant talking about it like every other newspaper music critic. To that end, here are some closeminded rants about what I don't like about "teh radio" and such. Enjoy!
THE BAHA MEN AWARD FOR POSSIBLE CAREER-NEGATING SINGLE: If Black Eyed Peas had come out with "My Humps" as their first-ever single, they would have been laughed off commercial radio. People remember Thomas Dolby for "She Blinded Me With Science," which is not representative of his work at all. The Baha Men are actually a credible world-music band, but all anyone remembers them for is "Who Let the Dogs Out" - and they've been around for more than a quarter-century. "My Humps" is a godawful novelty song, pure and simple, one that could have killed Black Eyed Peas' reputation had they not already written "Let's Get Retarded." They've become the Hanna-Barbera of hip-hop.
"The song's intentionally stupid," some people might say at this point. So is Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back," but Sir Mix-A-Lot had the advantage of being over the top. I'm supposed to take "My Humps" seriously as music. There's quite a difference between stupid and clever.
MOST ANNOYING SINGLE: Jason Mraz' "Wordplay." Is that song supposed to be cute? It's the "One Week" of 2005. I know Mraz is famous for his folk-rap songs, but "Wordplay" still seems like a novelty song that hit big on radio simply because it was a novelty song. Mraz and Barenaked Ladies pretty much trade on the same "cute, clever" pop image, and I can't escape either "One Week" or "Wordplay" when I'm listening to my local top 40 radio station. I guess it doesn't matter - Mraz sold thousands of albums on the strength of "Wordplay." That still doesn't make the song not annoying.