On Sunday, the Queen of Hip Hip Soul, Mary J. Blige, will have the opportunity to win eight Grammy awards for her album, The Breakthrough. If she wins, fine. If she loses, well, that too shall pass.
For me, and other fans, MJB already has the greatest award: her life.
She's been through so much in her 36 years. In a recent Parade magazine piece, she says:
We lived in the ghetto ... I’d hear women screaming and running down the halls from guys beating up on them. People chased us with weapons. I never saw a woman there who wasn’t abused. It was a dangerous place. No one wanted anyone else to get ahead. When I was 5, sexual stuff was done to me. My mother was a single parent, a working woman. She left us with people she thought could be trusted. They hurt me. After that happened, I thought: ‘Is it somehow my fault?’
I've heard her say that before, but now I truly understand how it's shaped her music. She always sought love and wanted it so badly — and the reality is, for me, her search and longing mimicked my own. When I first listened to "You Remind Me" and "Real Love" back in '92, it gave context to my own search for personal understanding and wondering about my inability to find the loving relationship that others seemed to have in abundance. Was it my fault? What's wrong with me?
I've been lock and step with Mary ever since. Trading our pain and sorrow, hopelessly addicted to finding love in others. I begged like she did for someone to "Share My World" with no real concept of what would happen next (as expressed in "Seven Days"). When she hit bottom (in my opinion) with the instantly depressive Mary album (which is my favorite), it simply summed up everything: I am who I am. Who wants me? Though the light at the end of the tunnel peeked through with No More Drama and the poem on that album, Breakthrough is a testament that she is drinking her own Kool-Aid and lovin' every sip of it. For better ("MJB da MVP") or worse ("Father in You").
So, it's not that the eight Grammy nominations mean Mary J. has arrived. She's already here. It means that she can truly enjoy the scenery — win or lose — because her music, her life, and her story prove that the greatest awards can be something that no man can give you.
You earn it for yourself.
Do the damn thang, Mary.
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