Andrew has asked his readers for their nominations for Worst Band Ever.…
Comment #25 deserves an Editor's Pick recognition:)
I think Bricklayer needs a blog.
I wasn't the one who mentioned Slayer.
AC/DC does not suck. That's the only band I object to in that list.
The Doors must top this list.
For the bands of my generation (the 90s), I've been thinking about this before and here's the list I've come up with previously: Dave Matthews Band, OAR, Crash Test Dummies, Smashmouth, Marcy Playground, New Radicals, 311, Matchbox 20, Third Eye Blind, Hootie and the Blowfish, Better Than Ezra, Phish, Fuel, Lifehouse, 3 Doors Down, Dishwalla, Candlebox, Seven Mary Three, Sponge, Toadies, Ass Ponys, Nixons, Buck Cherry and Silverchair as well. Catching a theme here? I hate wussy yuppie rock.
If artists who are accompanied by a band are allowed, John Mayer, Eagle-Eye Cherry, Jack Johnson, Duncan Sheik, and a few others come to mind.
If you're talking classic rock, Led Zeppelin, Styx, Pink Floyd, Rush, ELO, Journey, Yes, REO Speedwagon, Chicago, any of that crap. Throw in the entire classic rock genre and 80s hair metal too while you're at it.
I thought about adding some of the rip-off poseur 4th wave punk bands that are popular now (Good Charlotte, Newfound Glory, Simple Plan, Sum 41), but they're way, way more listenable than most of the other crap on this list. At least they'll steal a decent riff from a far better band now and then. Really bad pop-punk is like candy that's too sweet and lacks any flavor besides pure sugar -- it's still not as bad as rancid meat or spoiled milk.
Close calls: Goo Goo Dolls, Sugar Ray, Train, and Incubus. Primus and Ween are unlistenable, but at least they're trying to be weird.
That is all.
Hey, now. Leave the Toadies out of this!
Incubus was great on the first EP and first album. Major suckage after that.
I have never found Good Charlotte listenable at ALL. Same for New Found Glory. And it's not that I hate the genre, I do like a lot of the pop punkish/emo bands (All American Rejects, Taking Back Sunday, for example). But those guys, and Simple Plan make my skin crawl.
Michele, it's hot that you'd do this list. This deserves become the most commented topic ever on BlogCritics and just might, I predict.
I think people are so much more knowledgeable and fun when they talk about what music they hate than what music they like. The first step to being a good critic of art is to figure out what you abhor and don't consider art in the first place.
The only cool thing about the Toadies ever was that they did a pretty good cover version of "Where Is My Mind?" by the Pixies. Their own music wasn't nearly as good as the records they listen to, apparently. I suppose they're not the WORST BAND EVER if they covered a Pixies song. So on that alone, I will take them off my list, evne though "Possum Kingdom" is one truly horrendous song.
All the poseur punk bands make my skin crawl too, especially those that dress like goth gangstas and rap in between bad riffs. But the genre of pop-punk itself limits the inherent suckiness of those bands, if that makes any sense. They have to at least find a melody here or there and the song's over in 3 minutes tops.
That is all.
Jesus, I must have bad taste, because a few of these are my favorite bands. I wont say which ones though.
Sorry, the punk/emo stuff is really terrible. No bass and lots of whining voices. Half of them sound like they had a speech impediment. Really now… C’mon. Taking Back Sunday are probably the biggest whiners out there. YUK
Bob, stuff it. You don't like the thread, don't comment in it. I've done plenty of posts on what I LIKE. It's somehow wrong of me to post on what I DON'T like?
Chill out, people.
Bob A. Booey: I think people are so much more knowledgeable and fun when they talk about what music they hate than what music they like.
I disagree. I think people tend to be more critical of what they don't understand; so when they are talking about music they hate, they are probably speaking from ignorance. And ignorance isn't fun.
The first step to being a good critic of art is to figure out what you abhor and don't consider art in the first place.
But is it being a good critic of art a worthwhile achievement?
Being a good cultural critic is one of the highest achievements of intellect, JR. This site is called BlogCRITICS, after all.
What, Michele? I said I like it. I wasn't being sarcastic. I think you're still mad at me about The Toadies.
That is all.
and here we face the age-old critical dilemma: goring oxen is a noble and worthwhile pursuit until someone gores MY FUCKING OX
Let's lay off and chill
I'm lost. Who's angry here exactly and why? Who needs to chill besides Bricklayer's mom?
I think this is the most fun topic I've seen on here in a while.
That is all.
"If you're talking classic rock, Led Zeppelin, Styx, Pink Floyd, Rush, ELO, Journey, Yes, REO Speedwagon, Chicago, any of that crap."
I can't even fathom how you could put Zeppelin and Pink Floyd in that list. I agree with alot of your other choices, but man...those two would be on my Top 10 bands of all time list.
Ok, ok. I'm cranky from dental work/pain. I'm not mad at anyone.
Except the Toadies guy. He sucks.
Well, ideas about these things evolve. although Menudo will always be the horrid scourge of the human race, the membership is another thing that evolves, and I'm not getting paid to do this comment so I've no incentive to sift through their entire history and decide which individual lineup constitutes the specific worst band ever.
HOWEVER!!!! The worst performer, band or solo, to ever walk the Earth is Michael Bolton. He is God Awful to the zillionth degree. Everything evil and ugly and soul-sucking is him. He is made of poop. Every day that I read the newspaper and his obituary isn't in it is a disappointment.
I remember the first thing I ever hated was Fine Young Cannibals. I think is was in 4th grade.
You definitiely, DEFINITIELY have to include the Doors.
I would peorsonally say Rush, but that's a personal thing. I can't really listen to more than 30-45 seconds of it, but acknowledge that many smart people (no one I know, interestingly, like them).
I too have to disagree with the anti-AC/DC comments. You're of course entitled to your opinion, but people (both pro- and anti-AC/DC) tend to ignore how much tension they could build into a song using very few elements. There's a certain air of expectation in the silence between the power cords that's hard to imitate. Some sort of tautness. It can't be notated, and I'm not sure another band made up of the most amazing musicians in the world could replicate it.
...and is it just me or does Derrick Whibley sound like a made up name straight out of Spinal Tap?
Please don't think this is an attack on you michelle, it isn't personal. But since you put the list up for comment, I'm gonna comment.
I'm gonna stick up for AC/DC for the same reasons Bricklayer did: often imitated, but nobody comes close. All their songs do not sound the same. Aside from having two distinct eras with two fairly dissimilar frontmen, Angus Young's riffs on any of their greatest hits are instantly identifiable, like a great hard rock band's riffs should be.
Fleetwood Mac? Come on. I assume uou mean the "pop" era Fleetwood Mac; in the Peter Green era they were one of the best blues-rock bands ever. And as a pop band, they were an excellent pop band at their peak. How many pop bands manage to incorporate the textures and nuance Fleetwood Mac did at their peak?
Aerosmith, The Eagles, and Kiss aren't favorites of mine, but worst ever??? Each of them have songs I've gotten lasting pleasure from, and each inspired other bands in their wake.
When I think worst band, I think of stuff like Starland Vocal Band, Freddy and The Dreamers, Boyzone, Neon Philharmonic, a-ha, Bush, Staind, Good Charlotte, maybe even Black Oak Arkansas.
Most of the ones on your list may be overrated or overplayed, or not-as-great-as-people-think. But they are more of your personal dislike list than any unobjective selection of aesthetically bad bands.
Like I said, nothing personal. But from experience, I know that if you post a worst of list here or any other well-traveled forum, you'll have to pack a lot of ammo to back up your picks, more than just calling some major rock acts "insipid and dull".
I nominate any group that ever did a "disco" era song. Beyond the Bee Gees,I don't think anyone remembers who they were which speaks to their talent.
The boy "bands" and Michael Bolton almost don't count as bands. Too easy a target. They're not rock bands, that's for sure.
Janine, you're hot. Wanna make some babies? It'd be lots of fun. They could have great taste in music. Even the name Janine is hot :)
James Avery, I include those bands gladly. How can your list of indie bands you like be so hip when you like such horrible, overrated classic dinosaur rock?
Hope your medical/dental thing is OK, Michele.
That is all.
Yer right Bob A. Booey, Bolton ond Boyzone don't belong. I threw in Boyzone as an act of tokenism, to implicate a whole genre. But since I don't think they actually play instruments (or do/did they? I'm so out of the Boyzone loop), I guess I can't call them a "band".
Okay, replace Boyzone with any of the following:
Orleans, Player, Buck's Fizz, The Cowsills, Lon & Derrick Van Eaton, post-Peter Gabriel post-Tony Banks post Phil Collins Genesis, Dead Or Alive, Motley Crue, Black Widow, Bow Wow Wow, Ratt, Firefall (that is a far better pick than the Eagles), the re-formed Monkees, INXS will be once their new lead singer is elected, Stryper, and almost every hair metal band, except one or two who managed some mindlessly catchy metalgum.
I'll hold off on adding any more 90's-00's stuff because I didn't hear enough of the really crappy stuff; I try to stay away from major-label "punk", post-post-Grunge, CCM and CCM-crossovers, side-project indie supergroups, anything heavily promoted in mainstream media, overly foppish British stuff, anything played on a radio station beginning with Z-, and whatever is #1 on NPR.
Hey, Dead or Alive was good :)
You Spin Me Right Round is an 80s classic. Sex Drive was an OK song too.
That is all.
Joe, it would have been too easy to sit here and write a list that include Starland Vocal Band, Celine Dione, Stryper, etc.
I find that posts are much more interesting around here if you go after sacred cows :)
Fair enough. And you can call me Joe. Just don't call me late for supper...
I'm torn about bands like Bush and Staind. Bush were huge poseurs who broke in with the lyrically horrid single "Everything's Zen" aping Nirvana the way Oasis did the Beatles. Then they aped the Pixies with "Swallowed" on their next album. Gavin is a pretty boy without much art or thought in his head, but they did stumble upon a couple of decent, if not exactly original, songs like "Glycerine" and "Swallowed." They're not the worst band in the world because at least they chose good influences to rip off. They're pretty bad, though. I still remeber that bald guitarist guy.
Staind is tough too, because while they were discovered by uber-idiot Fred Durst and associated with all the horrible rap-rock nu metal bands you list above, they've always struck me as somewhat better musically than those other bands. Yes, I think they need to lighten up and stop writing the same dirgey, melancholy alternative rock song over and over. But I honestly don't think that one song is so horrible. The lead singer can really kind of sing and they play their guitars well and have some decent melodies. They're clearly not a very smart band, but they're an OK one.
That is all.
Foghat (...uh, who?)
Shark, you somehow make me love and hate your opinions at the same time :)
Nirvana is one of the best and most important bands ever.
But I'm totally with you on Dylan. Now THAT's a sacred cow to go after.
That is all.
Booey baby: "...Nirvana is one of the best and most important bands ever..."
...For young impressionable kids who have no other culturally significant milestones in their meaningless, short, historical knowledge-challenged, MTV-laden lives.
What Shark said :)
I was having a discussion over at my blog this week about Seattle bands - it started out as Pearl Jam v. Nirvana, but ended up with AIC, Soundgarden, etc. involved.
It was good to see some people agreeing with me on Nirvana just not being that great. Important? I'll give you that. But there's a big distinction between important and GREAT.
Bob, I know what you mean about Bush and Staind. They are two bands I like, but I know enough to realize that they aren't GREAT bands; Bush's lyrics are ridiculously idiotic and Staind tends to go into whining terroritory too often, but I wouldn't put either of them on a WORST BANDS list.
Surely the worst bands aren't the sometimes overrated megastars, but the also-rans who never made it.
Typically the barrel-scrapings of any genre that got signed just as their scene tanked and fashion moved on to something else. Think of Menswear or Warrant.
There were some truly dire bands at the tail end of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal in the early 80s. People forget that the genre which gave us Iron Maiden also produced the laughably bad Angelwitch, and the worst of the lot, Sledgehammer.
God they were awful. Somehow this lot managed to get a record deal and release an album. It went straight into the cut-out bins.
I'm reaching back a bit here on some of these, but I am getting older:
Air Supply - Paved the way for crap like Kenny G, Whitney Houston, Celine, etc....
Nickleback - They've been recycling the same song for years now and still get massive radio play (in Canada anyway). There's also a bunch of crappy clones out there that sound the same as them.
Poison - Boring
Bananarama - Weak vocals and music.
Rod Stewart(post Faces/Beck) - Good voice, s#$t music.
Elton John - Bland.
Phil Collins - See Elton.
For anyone who grew up in my generation, Nirvana changed the face of corporate rock and media in the 1990s. They were also the last great band before rock died as a genre, and Cobain's suicide had a lot to do with speeding along its demise. I do notice that it's hard for me to explain to anyone older than 35 or so why Nirvana was great -- they tend to get distracted by the loud, grating guitars and screaming without hearing the great hooks, aggressive melodies, in-your-face lyrics, and attitude of the punk underground giving major label rock and roll its biggest, best "F.U." ever recorded.
I wavered about whether Nickelback was bad enough to be on here and it was close, but now that I think about it, they're equally as bad a band as 3 Doors Down or Seven Mary Three. All those wuss rock, slightly Southern-fried bands are largely indistinguishable.
That is all.
I do notice that it's hard for me to explain to anyone older than 35 or so why Nirvana was great
Some of us old fogies over 35 grew up on punk rock and old school heavy metal. Do you think we all listened to nothing but Starland Vocal Band and the Monkees?
Wow, this is a tough one to comment on. I mean, alot of stuff sux, but I can't get around to being vengeful or hating a band or anything.
Actually, one criteria I use is 'are the performers cool people?' For instance when I am promoting a band sometimes the musicianship is good and they could be rockin', but say they are all a bunch of fucking assholes. That vibe comes across and makes them a shitty band in my book.
If a band is giving their all from the soul, no matter if it is technically good or not, I'll give them some merit.
I remember here in Seattle during the pre-grunge years their was a band called Solger (occasionally Duff McKagan will wear a Solger T-shirt on TV or something). Their whole trip was to be the shittiest (sp?) band around. In their attempts to be shitty they ended up being alright.
Anyway, such a subjective question with such a vengeful outlook. I can't get into that. I mean, there are bands I can't really get in to. But I just hit the delete button on my memory...
Do you think we all listened to nothing but Starland Vocal Band and the Monkees?
of course we didn't.
sometimes we switched off to Exile or maybe even Paper Lace.
"And there was no sound at all, except the clock upon the wall..."
tell the truth michele....did you have to google those lyrics?
Oh hell no. "The Night Chicago Died" was a favorite. My cousins and I acted out the song (along with Billy, Don't Be a Hero and Run, Joey, Run) on holidays to entertain the family.
Here Michele, I'll take some of the heat off of you, not that you need help: I don't hate Nickelback (nor Puddle of Mudd, except for the spelling). Agree on AC/DC, and totally understand about Dream Theater, though I happen to like them.
Bands that make me change the radio station:
Booey describing SHARK'S Prehistoric Generation's BOREDOM with Nirvana:
"...they tend to get distracted by the loud, grating guitars and screaming without hearing the great hooks, aggressive melodies, in-your-face lyrics, and attitude of the punk underground..."
Booey, I know this is hard to believe, but about 25 years before you had yer first orgasm dreamin' of Kurt Cobain, I was listenin' to LIVE AT LEEDS while on acid in the back of a 68 VW Microbus that had speakers the size of a Marshall 100 watt amp.
...Pigs were outside with billy clubs and tear gas.
...Plainclothes FBI agents were takin' pictures of us for their secret files.
Seriously, man, that shit was for real.
Our heroes wore upside-down American flags and killed themselves with massive drug overdoses.
...Curt wore women's sunglasses and shot himself with a fuckin' popgun.
...There's no comparison.
And if yall are goin' WAY BACK, throw in:
AMERICA ("Horse with No Name", also a nominee for the WORST LYRICS in HISTORY)
BLOODROCK (DOA = no shit!)
"Our heroes wore upside-down American flags and killed themselves with massive drug overdoses.
...Curt wore women's sunglasses and shot himself with a fuckin' popgun."
/Copy, paste, save for future arguments
I always thought that having no name wasn't nearly as bad for a horse as having, say, no legs
You know, I see the Monkees mentioned on occasion. Actually, even though they were a prefab band, I thought they were quite good. I saw them once in about '67 with the Spencer Davis Group, 1910 Fruitgum Co., The BoxTops, then the Monkees came out. Screaming, crying girls in mini skirts, I was 10 years old. Far out.
Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart wrote alot of their songs. Those guys penned some nice tunes.
But I like some of the schmaltzy lyrics people are finding. Someone left the cake out in the horse with no name...
Neil Diamond himself wrote a bunch of Monkees tunes, didn't he? They've got some great stuff, no matter how they came together or who played their instruments.
Then again, mundane can be the best. Take the Statler Bros. for instance:
Now don't tell me
I've got nothing to do
Yikes! Bloodrock! The DOA sirens I haven't heard in 30 years are now stuck on continuous replay in my head. Thanks.
Those three top my list.
i love primus i can understand why you dont like them because its more of a cult following and it takes getting used too, i think bob dylan is respectable as a music although i dont really enjoy his music, also i do think nirvana is overrated while i dont hate their music, and all hair metal was not bad like van halen and spawned some excellent musicians like shawn lane who is in my opinion one of the best guitarist of all time
but for the worst music i have to say
-50 cent (any rap really)
-from first to last
-armor for sleep
-bassically any of this stupid emo or pop punk shit