Most weeks, a playlist has been just that — a playlist of songs that I’m listening to, and that is that. I suppose this week's is no different in that regard – it is a list of songs that I, yes, happen to be listening to, but probably for more poignant reasons than ever before – or at least, since I began the List of the Moment.
To see a friend in crisis is to suffer. To see someone you love, a family member, a true friend, someone you really, really love and to be unable to do a damn thing about it except stand there and shuffle your feet like an idiot or stand there with your palms loosely at your sides like two blank opals is the worst feeling I have experienced in a long time.
Yes, we cannot play savior. We cannot save, no matter how much we may want to. We cannot undo what has been done, nor can we predict the future or stop what the future has in store for us, for the future is what it is and though no Calvinist I, I do know that there are just things – perhaps illness, for instance, that will take its slow or not so slow and steady course - that will leave us all careening down that mountain and there isn’t a damn thing we can do about it; but as if watching some horrific nightmare, knowing that when we can, if we can, we will do what we can to help. Perhaps just knowing that someone cares enough to write this makes some small modicum of a difference. One can only hope so.
This week’s list, I offer up to my cousin.
"Tiny Dancer" by Elton John: Yes, it was on the soundtrack to Almost Famous and why not? It was a fabulous film and the song remains a fabulous song at that. In this case, I can’t help but think of someone I know who must weigh, what, not more than a hundred pounds, if half that, and who could fit on the top of a jewelry box and dance there as a small ballerina, pink-skirted and sweet. Yes, this list is a personal one, if you didn’t read the prologue, now you know. So if some of the songs are repeats, then this week’s list is a sentimental one for how could it not be when I see a friend in real crisis and reach out. So read on and know that every song here, on this list anyway, has special meaning this week – perhaps for you too, but this week and perhaps forever, for me, this week is particularly poignant.