One thing about Keith Richards: he is not complacent. How would you spend your time if you were a 62-year-old, multi-millionaire, notoriously hedonistic rock star who has achieved every artistic, popular, and financial height imaginable over a 45-year career?
Would you continue to tour the globe half the time, continuously migrating like a very noisy butterfly, beating on your guitar and straining to "sing" when called upon in your whiskey and cigarette-ravaged voice?
On hiatus from your current world tour — due to start up again in Barcelona on 27 May — vacationing with your wife Patti Hansen (and who thought THAT would last?) at an exclusive Wakaya Club resort in Fiji, would you climb a freaking coconut tree?
This is apparently what Keith did, perhaps believing the reports of his own invulnerability after a lifetime of filtering enough chemicals through his body to kill a waste treatment plant.
So last week Keith is scampering up this coconut tree: Is he using the "front-foot" technique? Or perhaps the "frog" technique? Perhaps he uses the vampire technique and simply flies up to the coconuts?
Regardless, something goes awry and his 62-year-old body becomes disengaged from the tree and plummets to the ground. Is he killed? Does he break various frail and aging bones? No, he suffers a "mild concussion." Rumor has it he shook off the resultant headache, went Jet Skiing, and had another accident. It's like Weekend At Bernie's, except as far as we know Keith is alive.
He was then flown to a hospital in New Zealand, and will reportedly be ready to go when the Stones begin the European leg of their "Bigger Bang Tour" in Barcelona on the 27th.
There was concern that the guitarist would need surgery to drain blood from his brain, but no! the blood and the brain are fine: "He's feeling good and in good spirits," said spokeswoman Fran Curtis yesterday.
This is not Keith's first fall. He broke three ribs and punctured a lung falling from a ladder while reaching for a book in his library in 1998. He reads too? Battered but never broken, Keith scampers on: "Good to be here, good to be anywhere."
Article comments
1 - Mark Saleski
i'm glad that keith didn't die....on the other hand, you have to admit that it would have put one freaking weird exclamation point on his life's story.
2 - Eric Olsen
yes! Falling from a coconut tree would have been up there with strangled by sausage links or something as among the more unusual ways to go. I'm glad he's (or at least appears to be) okay, also. That's some durability you have to admire as a natural (or unnatural) wonder
3 - Gordon Hauptfleisch
Wasn't there an old Harry Nillson song about putting the limey in the coconut tree (and then you feel better, hah!)--or do I somehow have the words wrong?
4 - Eric Olsen
great point Gordon! except maybe he was trying to add the lime to the coconut up in he tree, leading to the mishap in he first place
5 - Eric Olsen
speaking of songs, this reminds me of Nils Lofgren singing "Keith Don't Go" over 30 years ago
6 - Gordon Hauptfleisch
so many variables in this, so much we don't know...
Anyway: Great Nils Lofgren album ("Back It Up" another great song--good album cover, too).
Hey, wait a minute...Nils/Nillson--I think I see a pattern emerging, maybe some dark conspiracy...have we unwittingly hit the Nil on the head?
This is just too important to leave to chance--we must assure the safety of Keith Richards at all times--not just when he's out climbing coconut trees: Who else in this world, I ask you, would we have to tell Elton John that he should name his next album "Songs for Dead Blondes"?
7 - Mark Saleski
...which reminds me of Lofgren's Night After NightM live lp, with Nils on the cover in scary, giant 70's flare pants.
8 - Gordon Hauptfleisch
Scary Giant '70s Flare Pants--good name for a band.
9 - Eric Olsen
Nils can update the tune for the '00s (with Bruce doing background) and call it "Keith Wear a Helmet"
10 - Gordon Hauptfleisch
Or "Keith Don't Go Climbing Coconut Trees!"
11 - Eric Olsen
I was thinking of the Jet SKiing and general safety as well.
12 - Gordon Hauptfleisch
Okay--A Safety-first PSA for the geriatric Stones fan backed with "Sympathy For the Dare-Devil"
13 - Eric Olsen
classic!
14 - Bliffle
"Keith Richards Falls From Tree, Damages Coconut"
To tell the truth, I think Richards damaged his coconut some years ago.
15 - Bryan
Right o.k then
16 - Carole Lawrence
Thank God for Keith Richards. The world would be quite empty without him. I saw the last concert in Philadelpia PA on 10/10/05 and he made my day. I am very sick, as is my husband, a loyal Btit, and we were rocking out for all it was forth. So, here is the best to Keith and the Stones for making my world better.
17 - Danny
A 45 year career and never, never a dull moment. What the hell next?
18 - de
u look ugiy