In case you're unfamiliar with Gretchen Wilson and her music, I offer this brief synopsis of her work: Wilson's music is the sonic equivalent of prison rape ... during a root canal ... performed by an unlicensed, blind dentist ... while being forced to dine on British cuisine. Except that watching some dude get his butt violated is a helluvalot more entertaining than listening to this dumb bitch further retardify country music.
Wilson was born in Illinois, and I guess that nobody ever bothered to tell Ms. Wilson that Illinois wasn't part of the Confederacy, 'cause she proudly considers herself to be a redneck Southerner, singing "I'm a redneck woman, I ain't no high class broad". Congratulations, bitch - now go fetch me another beer and get to fixin' my dinner.
You see - Wilson thinks that she's empowering white trash women everywhere with her songs of anti-PC feminism (think: women chewing tobacco, drinking beer, bar-fighting, etc.), but all she's really doing is making a pathetic attempt to be rebellious/shocking, and in the process she's simply made herself a cliched caricature. Merle Haggard did prison-time, Johnny Cash got busted smuggling dope in from Mexico, David Allan Coe killed a dude in prison (if you can believe him), and Wilson thinks she's anti-establishment because she chews tobacco? Nice try, woman - now get back in the kitchen where you belong.
Gretchen Wilson's only fans are those fat cowgirls who sing along with her songs at the top of their lungs at the bar, trying to convince themselves that the only reason that they can't get boyfriends is because men are too intimidated by their empowered-redneck-woman status to approach them. So at the end of the night, these girls waddle back home alone to listen to their Gretchen Wilson albums and drown their loneliness in a sea of chocolate pudding and gravy. If only the guys at the bar weren't so threatened by their feministically super-charged empowerment-ovaries.
So to Gretchen Wilson (a faithful reader of my blog, I'm sure), I say this: it's time to spit out the dip, ditch the rebel flag belt-buckle, and quit playing dress-up. Chicken don't fry itself, you know...
[end transmission]
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Temple Stark
You get your pebbles off calling a woman a bitch, just because you don't like their music?
Pathetic.
2 - Josh
I agree totally and compleatly with you
3 - Miriam
A good metaphor that...!
4 - Mark Saleski
satire, eh?
wow, the definition has changed since the seventies.
apparently, it now means "mysogynistic crap".
5 - Triniman
Very funny!
6 - Temple Stark
What makes it funny triniman? Be specific.
7 - Anna
Satire? I think not. Any attempt at shrouding this rant in satire ended with the phrase "dumb bitch."
8 - Al Barger
Alright Temple. I'll take a crack at this. First off, when you just absolutely explain humor, it tends to break down. I have to suspect that this is exactly your intent in refusing to see the humor and asking for an explanation.
Anyway, I'd take it that what makes it funny is that he's responding as an evil person might reasonably argue that she deserves. Her whole public personnae and, yes, a large part of her fan base is whorish white trash what that asks and really often actually wants to be treated in this manner.
I have to suspect that the real person Gretchen Wilson would have to have somewhat more than this about them to attain her level of professional success.
Still, there's her public personnae based on her records that he's critiquing. In short, the joke is that Timmy's just taking Gretchen Wilson at her word.
Personally, I'd forgive her all that if her music was any good. However, her songs are just as trite musically and lyrically as Timmy's description might suggest.
9 - godoggo
googling..."Results 1 - 10 of about 42,200 from blogcritics.org for barger bitch"
10 - Al Barger
Oh yes, I forgot to mention that this column is a hate crime against women- particularly alcoholic white trash sluts. Timmy should feel ashamed of himself. I'm sure he does.
11 - Al Barger
OK then Godoggo, and you were going somewhere with comment 9? Dumb it down for me, what are you trying to say exactly?
12 - Matthew T. Sussman
If a joke can withstand an explanation then it's good.
Humor that's just OK and under the microscope tends to, like Al said, break down and become useless.
You can explain the elements of a well-crafted joke and premise and it's still stands as funny.
This is OK humor.
13 - J. P. Spencer
The broader argument here is that country music has fallen on hard times quality-wise. Gretchen Wilson is just like the rest of the garbage that passes for country music these days. We're a long way from the Louvin Brothers, Hank Williams and Johnny Cash. Coountry music has become about as rebellious as parking on the wrong side of the street.
14 - T A Dodger
Re Comment 10:
Al... seriously, I respected you before, even though I disagreed with you (a lot) about many things. But for you to say "It's not misogynist to call women bitches as long as they're sluts" is just... unbelievable.
15 - Mark Saleski
right...just go this guy's site and read 'things i know about vagina owners'
oh yea,it's a real hoot.
look, some people may find this crap funny. i think it makes blogcritics look pathetic.
16 - Bennett
Yeah, Timmy and crushkill should get together and make up poo-poo jokes. It's sad, what slips through the cracks.
17 - Temple Stark
Unless you're triniman, too, I wasn't asking you Al. Your sense of humor is nonsensical.
The fact that you want to defend the careless use of the word "bitch" and "dumb bitch" is all we need to know about you.
I can justify the use, but not here. The author should have a much better reason.
18 - Temple Stark
Country music - as a whole - was rebelous for about five seconds - just like everything else that's assimilated.
Now it's all fake accents, though some of the story lines better than most other genres.
19 - sylv
Wilson doesn't need defending. I bet she could kick this author's teeth in without setting her beer down. Her music sucks but I bet she could hold her own against any sad misogynist.
20 - Timmy
"...calling a woman a bitch, just because [I] don't like her music?"
I guess the irony was lost, and that's fine.
As far as poo-poo jokes are concerned: they're funny now, and they always will be.
Whether you agree with the manner in which the opinion was presented doesn't really matter; the point is that if country 'artists' want to celebrate a white trash-lifestyle, they don't deserve anything less than to be treated like white trash.
As far as making blogcritics look pathetic, I'll publish a post titled "The Search For Polarization Bremsstrahlung From 53 keV Electrons In Solid Thin-Film Targets" on Monday. Maybe that will better suit Bennett's taste.
21 - Al Barger
Timmy's article was reasonably amusing, but the really funny thing about it is the silly sanctimonious liberal wagging of fingers that it has provoked. Do you think you're striking a blow for women's rights there, Temple?
But you know what, neither Gretchen Wilson nor her fanbase is gonna hump you despite your ridiculous show of standing up for their non-existent honor. They're looking for guys like what Timmy's playing at in this article that will give them the ill treatment they crave.
But at least you have the warm glow of your totally unearned feelings of moral superiority to give you comfort.
22 - Scott Butki
I find references to a woman as a "bitch" offensive and stopped reading at that point.
I see no irony or humor in that.
23 - Mark Saleski
geezuz al, you'd defend an article on necrophilia if the target was somebody you didn't particularly like.
24 - Scott Butki
What's particularly disturbing is that not only do you not see anything wrong with posts being offensive, Al, but you turn around and speculate on the motives of the person expressing that they were offended.
I mean, it's one thing to say if you agree with the criticism. It's quite another to go after Temple and question Temple's motives.
25 - Temple Stark
There's such a thing as true feelings Al, completely different from sanctimony. I understand why you wouldn't recognize anything as such but would rather think I'm just saying that to appear better than I am. However, that's your style not mine, so lay off and stop trying to be hated just to get attention. I'm sorry you don't appear to have any feelings or beliefs that don't involve ridiculous labels.
To the more important subject - but then so is mold - the use of bitch and dumb bitch - still not explained by the author - are crass, tasteless and offensive. The Redneck Woman song in particular is the only Wilson song I like and she can go jump for all I care, but to write something like this without good reason - I'm not saying there's never a good reason but a music review isn't it - smacks of desperation.
Ah, I get it. You've found a lowest common denominator kindred spirit. Now, go bounce around the bonfire together and try not to fall in.
If anyone tries to follow the logic of this piece they can see many more faults. Illinois girl can't sing country? It's inane. Well, then once you're rich and famous you can't sing blues or folk. If you're over 50 you can't sing rock and roll.
Somehow people manage.