I have a confession. I’m not a big fan of pumpkin pie. My favorite is apple. Hot, deep dish apple, to be precise. With vanilla ice cream. Two scoops.
This article isn’t really about pie, though. I’ll tell you in a minute what this article is about as soon as I figure out what this article is about. Let’s go with the pie theme for now.
According to my source (starts with G and ends with oogle), pumpkin pie is well down the list at number eight. No big surprise to me that apple is number one, followed by chocolate, coconut, pecan, berry, key lime, lemon, pumpkin, cherry, and banana cream at number ten.
But this is all a bit, uh, fruitless. Gee, too bad I don’t have a pie chart to show you. Anyway, enough of that.
What I really want to discuss today is THE song. You know, the ONLY Thanksgiving Carol in existence. Plenty of Thanksgiving HYMNS, but you can’t sing those in a public school assembly, now can you? There's an endless supply of CHRISTMAS Carols, but just ONE for Thanksgiving.
Over the river and through the woods to Grandmother’s house we go. Is it Grandma’s house or Grandpa’s house? Because I found lyrics for both. Let’s just pretend they’re still married and the house is in both their names. Which is pretty unusual for this day and age, but we’re pretending, okay?
The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh through the white and drifted snow. This family REALLY wants to avoid TSA, huh? No intrusive searches or scans for them!
Yadda, yadda, yadda. Then something about Grandma’s cap. Hurrah for the fun is the pudding done, hurrah for the pumpkin pie. I like their priorities – dessert first!
Actually, I love this song. It kind of paints a Norman Rockwell picture in our heads of a time and place that few of us have ever been to, but I’ll bet most of us would like to experience. At least once. The problem with the song is that it seems to be the only one.
Come on everybody! Let’s all gather around the piano and sing THE song. Pull yourself up out of that bloated coma you’ve fallen into. Find the mute button on the remote. What’s the score? Pause the Xbox for half a minute. Let’s all sing the ONLY Thanksgiving Carol in existence.
Hey folks – this is America. We need more Thanksgiving songs! Your assignment is to come up with some. I’ll meet you back here next year to see how you’ve done.