For me, this article started when the Bad Company hit the road without Paul Rodgers… nay! When a group called The Heads opened for The Who on their Quadrophenia Redux tour. Look, I love Concrete Blonde. Johnette Napolitano is a real kick in the breadbasket most of the time, with that nicotine-toasted growl and raspy, Chrissie Hynde-like bravura. But should she have been the one tapped to replace David Byrne?
Hoo-boy. Heavens, no. Isn’t that like having Rick Astley front the Pogues?
How revolting were the Doors of the 21st Century? Even if Ian Astbury is a great, histrionic singer with Morrisonesque shades and similar Shamanic fetishes, what were these guys gonna do without him? We’re all due to find out: Seems Astbury’s working on a new Cult album and the D21C is skating around John Densmore and the Morrison Estate again, this time by calling themselves Riders on the Storm. Word is that Val Kilmer and the snide caveman from the Geico insurance commercials are among the finalists for LV duties.
But it gets worse… Styx without Dennis DeYoung? Blasphemy. INXS on television, attempting to replace Michael Hutchence? Sick and twisted. Foreigner without Lou Gramm… and with Jason Bonham on drums? Shameful! Skid Row without Sebastian Bach? The aforementioned Rodgers singing in Queen? Todd Rundgren trying to jumpstart the Cars without Ric Ocasek?
Shuddering just thinking about it all. I could go on… but you’re probably rattling off a bunch of them right now, even as you read this. It’s enough to make one shake their mullet in disgust... assuming one still had enough hair for a mullet, that is.
For the sake of pure entertainment value alone, let’s take everyone’s favorite train wreck, Axl Rose, for example. By now, the whole world knows that Guns n’ Roses is going to release Chinese Democracy tomorr… next wee… er, well, probably never. We could all hope that the Howard Hughes of Rock might someday enjoy a rectal-cephalectomy and get the original band back together. Or most of it, anyway… rumors are that Steven Adler is a mess, but going on the road without Slash, Duff, and Izzy? What’s been on the road lately as GNR is a tribute band with a lead singer that just so happened to be in GNR once.
A well-rehearsed, talented (and bordering on a sonically tasty) substitute, for sure... but a substitute nonetheless. Why couldn’t they call themselves NutraSweet?








Article comments
1 - Connie Phillips
This article has been promoted to Digg, Reddit and Netscape. Follow the above links to vote for it.
2 - Christopher Rose
Great, funny work. Thanks for that.
3 - El Bicho
It's their band so they can do as they wish as far as I am concerned. This has been goes even farther back to groups like The Count Basie Orchestra. If people want to see and hear people playing the songs, what is the harm really, other than your own high-falutin' sensibilities?
I did see The Doors with Ian because I never saw Robbie and Ray play before. They sounded great, had fantastic energy, and everyone in the place had a good time. No one thought it was going to be like back in the day; the show started on time for one thing. Sorry, you find thousands of people having a good time revolting.
It's ironic that you mention Jane's Addiction call then leave out their multiple returns with different bass players.
Dio was a part of "that" version of Black Sabbath years ago, so I'm not sure how that is a case in point. They obviously have fans from that period. I don't know the ticket price, but I might give it a shot.
Now, there's plenty of semi-reunions I won't go see, but why begrudge others a fun night out?
4 - Styx Fan
Surely you aren't talking about Styx! Tommy Shaw was born with a guitar in his hands, and will die with one there. He tours for the love of it. Whether it is a large venue or a small one, this guy still has what it takes to satisfy crowds!
5 - Vern Halen
Mostly right on, but there have to be some exception clauses. I don't know what the criteria would be exactly. The Dio Sabs were/are legit as a version of Sabbath.
6 - ketch22
I find this line of writing laughable at best. Who are you to say who should and should not be touring? Dennis DeYoung was a member of Styx and the lead singer, but not the only lead singer and certainly not the best. Tommy Shaw and Styx still tour and their music sounds better than in their heyday. Most of DeYoung's music was ballads and broadway. Tommy was the rock of Styx and he, JY, and the greatest drummer around today, Todd Sucherman, still put on a hell of a concert that blows modern acts out of the water.
7 - God-I-hope-so
If the bands are good, and people are enjoying themselves, then who cares? It's *fun* to walk down memory lane sometimes - even if the musicians and singers are switched around a little.
Besides, I'd rather listen to Axl & his Fake GnR, or Queen sans Freddie Merc, than the horrible excuses for bands that are popular now. I know I'm in the minority,and I fully expect to be flamed for saying this, but I think there hasn't been a decent rock band since the early 90s - they all sound like they can't figure out if they're rock or rap, and none of them have singers that can actually sing. There are no modern equivalents to the likes of Rose, Rodgers, Dio, Dickenson, Roth, Hagar, etc. For me, if the old pros hang it up, *that* is when rock n roll will draw its last breath, unless someone comes along who can actually hold their own against these larger-than-life rock legends. So far, I haven't heard anyone who rocks enough to tie these guys' shoes.
Just some opinions from an old fogie who has loved rock n roll all her life.
8 - A Concerned Citizen
God I Hope So:
I completely agree. Anyone who starts flaming you is either 12 or deaf.
9 - dee
note that all these yayhoo versions in Amazon "ship in 24 hours." that's sayin' somethin'.
10 - Hung Nguyen
I'm personally glad that lot of these bands are still touring because I was too young to go see them in their glory days, and most of these groups have just enough members to make it still more or less the same band. Perhaps this is because I am a huge progressive rock fan, but I don't blink twice anytime a group replaces their iconic lead singer. To see how a band changes (evolves?) after such an event interests me, and I think more often than not, it works.
I really liked the Genesis album put out with Ray, though I am certainly SUPER ecstatic that the Banks-Collins-Rutherford lineup is touring again. I thought the DeYoung-less Styx lineup was even better than the "classic" lineup because the band comprised of essentially four lead men and a very dynamic drummer who all actually liked each other and had FUN while on stage. I've seen the "Return To Paradise" video and most of them look like they're just half there.
I guess I'm in a different position than most, because when I hear that these bands are reuniting and touring, I get excited because it means I might actually get to experience seeing them live. I'm too young to be nostalgic about any of these bands.
11 - LB
Styx was Dennis DeYoung and vice versa. Sure Tommy Shaw had an important part in that group, but it was a great group before he ever joined. The signature sound of Styx was the work of Dennis DeYoung, so I fully agree with the assumption made above.
Besides, they have replaced DeYoung with a vocally inferior performing goof that makes a joke of both his great music and his incredible voice.
This was a great opinion column with which I agree heartily.
12 - Brian aka Guppusmaximus
I give you credit for a well penned article but I would have to agree with Mr. Bicho.
Dio was apart of an important time in Black Sabbath history and proved the point that original singers aren't always the best. But, I'm suprised you didn't mention that because you were quick to bash Mr. Di'Anno. it's funny how you mention Maiden but they did something similiar but had the balls & talent to create some new music that is just as good as their old stuff. Considering they are getting up there in age. Plus, you could probably put RJD in with your proggers catagory because he was also a shining additive in Rainbow as well as his own solo career that ultimately found the new guitarist for Def Leppard. But I guess Def Lep should've called it quits when Mr. White passed on...right?
I could go on but I will refain...
13 - Stephanie Jo
JD Fortune of INXS has revived, recreated and restarted a whole new and old group of fans. He is superior and with the band behind him that have always rocked with Hutchence, and now without,have a strong following and rockin music. I'm in New Jersey and flying out to Paris this spring to see them. I'm sure that I'm not the only one. Their fans are truly devoted. Take a listen to Switch, you'll be pleasantly surprised, and addicted! Stephanie Jo
14 - Barb
Point of record: Def Leppard lost Steve Clark, not Steve White.
15 - dee
steve white? he's not even in the article, nor is Def Leppard... it doesn't appear that the author has bashed Dio or Di'Anno: he said Dio did the right thing by not trying to call his revival Black Sabbath and he said it was cool that Dickinson replaced Di'Anno... not that he sucked. and El bicho, it seems the author was using Jane's Addiction as a metaphor for the very reason you mentioned... finally, the author did give himself an "out" by saying he knew he was "poking some tigers" out there and that it was fun. some of the comments on here defend bands more vociferiously than i would expect you would your families or friends. wow. that is really saying something.
16 - Hung Nguyen
Okay, maybe this horse is dead, but there is a simple point I would like to make regardless of how you feel about the quality of any particular lineup of any band.
I think the musicians hold the right to not at all care about the way you feel and go out and tour and release new music if they desire to do so under whatever moniker they can legally use. They shouldn't have to worry, and many don't, about preserving the legacy of their glory days and sacrifice their desire to perform and make new music. The rules of the game are simple: if you don't like the way they are now, don't buy the album and don't go to the show. If you don't like them touring just because they are ruining the coolness factor or your idealized concept of the band, then that's your little hang-up, and they should be able to do whatever they please.
17 - Brian aka Guppusmaximus
" he said Dio did the right thing by not trying to call his revival Black Sabbath.."
Uh..HELLO, That was all about Ozzy not letting them tour as Black Sabbath. BUT, that wasn't my point!! As I can tell you missed it completely...
"and he said it was cool that Dickinson replaced Di'Anno.."
Try reading it again...
"Dickinson replaces DiāAnno in Iron Maiden? Hell yes."
Earth to Space Cadet...That isn't stating that it was cool!! This Jackass just doesn't understand what Iron Maiden accomplished with Di'Anno. As much as I agree with him it is still a much different situation than with Ozzy & Black Sabbath. Maiden was a pioneer for the crossover scene with Di'Anno and with Dickinson they became Metal Giants!! Ozzy with Black Sabbath proved to be a Fusion/Metal Benchmark but with Dio they became the Ultimate Metal Goliath!! RJD Forged the title for Sabbath wether you like it or not!!
I brought up Leppard because the author forgot about one of the most popular comebacks in Rock!! Sure, I fucked up the guitarists name but Def Leppard could've given up twice...Yes TWICE!!
So, go read some history books...
And so, I think it is hard to pigeon-hole any band that decides to re-introduce itself as a band that should call it quits
18 - Brian aka Guppusmaximus
Yea... that last sentence was f*cked because I am a bit tipsy....HA!!!
UP THE IRONS...Bitches!!!
19 - Littlelilac
Regardless of how one feels about 80s bands coming back the one thing I now realize is the diversity of the music we had in the 1980s...and how lucky I was to live in that era as a young un
Put some of the blame on the current crop of corporate rock - Kurt Cobain must be rolling in grave seeing what Nirvana has wrought - a bunch of Nirvana/Nickelback clones all using the same formula with few creative exceptions, oh yeah we have emo grunge now right and if the same bands put as much energy into their live shows people wouldn't be craving the oldies who knew how to entertain a crowd and give value - if I have to hear another song with the layered vocal trick I'll scream....there are a few exceptions like the Killers to my mind but even their live show is a bit lacking in some joie de vivre, otherwise it's the Brandon Flowers show.....
The other blame is the emergence of hip hop and rap - who wants to pay money to see rappers stand around in their baseball caps turned backwards and pants falling off their ass - you'll note even 50 Cent doesn't do that many live gigs or rappers will go on a bill with several artists, then you have to wear your bullet proof vest - even Timbaland said he was going to quit producing because hip hop/rap was boring him to tears until he decided to stretch his wings and work for artists outside the genre
20 - Andrew
Totally disagree with comments about Michael Hutchence's replacement impersonator from that reality tv show. He butchers those beautiful classic songs and has no personality of his own. He imitates MH being a former impersonator of Elvis, Buddy Holly and part of the touring lineup of Legends. YUK what trash.
21 - anandamide
Here is some insight into Axl Rose's process in the making of Chinese Democracy
22 - Ms Moist From Cambridge
"Dennis DeYoung was a member of Styx and the lead singer, but not the only lead singer and certainly not the best."
Whatever it is you're smoking, I want some of it.