Oh Adam, Adam, Adam, what are we going to do with you?
After Adam Lambert’s “any-crotch-goes performance” on ABC’s American Music Awards, they said goodbye to his Good Morning America appearance the next morning. And that was just the beginning.
How do you solve the problem of Adam? You don't. Fixing one only creates another. Putting him in a competition gets him scrutinized, putting him in the spotlight offends people, offending people loses him a gig, losing him a gig garners him another, white-washing the coverage sparks new outrage, and if all that were not enough, ABC books convicted felon, woman-beating Chris Brown, even moving him from GMA to prime-time 20/20, after firing Adam for kissing someone.
And now, Disney/ABC is working to revise their contract language (“call it the Lambert clause”) to hold performers accountable for their unrehearsed embellishments during performance. ABC has not (yet) nixed Adam’s scheduled appearance on Barbara Walters’ 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009 special, airing Wed. December 9, 10/9c on ABC, and they’d be screwy to do so, after contributing so heavily to his fascination factor. For all their trouble, at least they'll get to reap the ratings rewards.
George Washington once hand-copied a 16th century French Jesuit text, 110 Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation, the 1st being: Every Action done in Company, ought to be with Some Sign of Respect, to those that are Present. The 2nd is: When in Company, put not your Hands to any Part of the Body, not usually Discovered. And the 3rd: Show Nothing to your Friend that may affright him.
Adam didn’t get that memo — or flipped it off. “All hail freedom of expression and artistic integrity,” he tweeted after the AMA show. Hey, who’s not for that? Anybody can do anything flying that flag. But there’s a time and a place and you need to acknowledge the context. I’ll write a porno if I damn well please, but I won’t submit it to Highlights for Children. I know better.