When "Lose Yourself" (from the film '8 Mile') won the 2003 Academy Award in the "Music (Song)" category, many people might've been asking themselves, "Who is that award-winning fresh faced talent that raps so well?"
He was born Marshall Bruce Mathers. But he's since thrown off the shackles of his "slave name", and now goes by Eminem.
This bright-faced youngster Eminem has little in common with the sweet treat his moniker resembles, save for the fact both are candy-coated on the outside yet darkly chocolate on the inside.
To further facilitate greater understanding between the races, we here at "The Institute of Racial Harmony and Understanding" have been hard at work translating Eminem's lyrics for white people who might otherwise be confused by his sometimes highly literate, yet paradoxically streetwise allegoric, words.
Our staff of highly paid, well-trained, white men over fifty years of age has only begun to "crack the Shady Code" so to speak. But, now, we bring you what has been translated thus far.
We hope it helps older white folk understand, and truly appreciate, the genius that is Eminem.
We begin with some choice cuts from... 'The Marshall Mathers LP':
[ From (the song) "Marshall Mathers" ]
EMINEM: "Plus I was put here to put fear in faggots who spray Faygo root beer / And call them selves clowns cause they look queer / Faggots who don't but silent gay / Claimin' Detroit, when y'all live twenty miles away / And I don't wrestle I'll knock you fuckin' faggots the fuck out / Ask them about the club they was at when they snuck out / After they ducked out the back when they saw us and bugged out / Ducked down and got paintball shot at they truck, plow"
TRANSLATION: While I have nothing against homosexuals personally, I don't approve of their lifestyle / Heck, some of my closest friends are gay / As long as they don't force themselves on me, everything will be ok / If you're gay and you make a sexual advance toward me, I won't appreciate it. / I might even get upset with you
[ From "Kim" ]
EMINEM: "Quit crying bitch, why do you always make me shout at you? / How could you? / Just leave me and love him out the blue / Oh, what's a matter Kim? / Am I too loud for you? / Too bad bitch, your gonna finally hear me out this time..."
Article comments
1 - Jim Carruthers
The Ministry of Consequences just snorted a drink out their nose.
2 - The Theory
that's classic.
peace.
3 - Eric Olsen
Lil bitch won an Oscar.
4 - Tom Johnson
"We think he is just misunderstood by some white folks who simply don't take the time to truly listen."
(ahem) Yeah, that must be it.
5 - E.A. Castro
Awesome!
6 - PotKettleBlackHeavyIndustries
They missed it. I'm a comically misunderstood white man.
Otherwise very nice.
7 - andy
Yo fo shizza my nizza! That makes the sents!
Eminem....he did for gangsta rap what Elvis did for rock and roll.
He wasn't the first person to do it, he was just the first white person to do it well.
8 - murphy
Very funny. Those 50 year old white guys were working hard for this one...
9 - janine
i love eminem cos me and my dog r so fucking a like he runs shit tru say dre brANG MAN ON TINGS KEEP IT REAL HOMIE
10 - janine
i love eminem cos me and my dog r so fucking a like he runs shit tru say dre brANG MAN ON TINGS KEEP IT REAL HOMIE
11 - Pete
Janine wrote:
"i love eminem cos me and my dog r so fucking a like he runs shit tru say dre brANG MAN ON TINGS KEEP IT REAL HOMIE"
Yo! girlfriend, you took the words ("WORD!") right outta my mouth.
That's darn spooky, it is. I be trippin', 'boo!
12 - brianna
eminem is sooooooo hott!!!
13 - Tristan
HUH ............????????????
( i thought i had a hard time in French 3 ..!!!)
14 - alice
slizzle mean slim duh..