Stop what you are doing. Get in your car. If you're already in your car you don't have to stop what you are doing. You may remain in your car.
Drive to your nearest music retailer. Buy Guster's Keep it Together and Ganging Up on the Sun. If they do not have these CDs at your retailer, throw a brick through their window and race to a computer and order these CDs. Then, go to iTunes and download the following songs:
- "Jesus on the Radio" from Keep it Together (20)
- "Amsterdam" from Keep it Together (14)
- "One Man Wrecking Machine" from Ganging Up on the Sun (8)
- "Ruby Falls" from Ganging Up on the Sun (8)
- "Dear Valentine" from Ganging Up on the Sun (9)
You might be asking yourself why you are paying to download these songs from iTunes when you just ordered the CDs (assuming your music retailer now has a brick where their window used to be). There is a very good answer for this. You must not allow one more day of your life to pass without hearing these songs! Then, the albums will arrive and you can enjoy the many other wonderful songs on these wonderful albums.
I understand I am being awfully free with your hard-earned money. If you have never believed a word I have said, believe me now. These records will make your schlong (or your rack if you are sans schlong) bigger. These records will make your ass tighter and your stomach smaller. These songs will achieve peace in our lifetime and feed the hungry. You will be a better person by 221%! I can prove it. I wrote an article in the June issue of Scientific Proof Magazine. I would not steer you wrong. The birds will sing. The children will dance. You must do this, and do it now.
So you still need convincing? Just know, while you are stalling, the bits you want larger could be larger and the regions you want shrunk could already be smaller had you just listened to me. Two or three kids starved while you resisted. But, if convincing is needed, allow me to provide the persuasion.
Article comments
1 - Mark Saleski
my god...what have i done?
2 - DJRadiohead
The fact you made it all the way through is thanks enough, Saleski.
3 - Mat Brewster
What happened to the DJ flipping the bird picture? That was right up there with Dawn as Jennifer Anniston, or was it Jennifer Anniston as Dawn, I forget. Either way, I need that picture. Of you and the bird, not of Dawn or Jennifer Anniston, not that Dawn and Jennifer Anniston are bad pictures to have. I have blown those pictures up and hung them above my....oh um, I've said too much.
Good review Sir DJ.
4 - DJRadiohead
Sir Brewster, thanks for checking out the screed. I had a brief bout of the paranoia and removed the snapshots from the interweb. I must have forgotten my meds that day--- SHUT UP, I'm typing---! Anyroad, I might bring the picture out now that I seem to have recovered from my odd behavior---I SAID I'M BUSY!!--- Thanks for reading.
5 - Khara
i toally agree, but while you are at it, check out their first 3 albums, Parachute, Goldfly, & Lost & Gone Forever. More acoustic, more bongos, even better than these 2!
6 - DJRadiohead
Khara, glad you found this. I do own all their albums, including the live CD/DVD. I actually prefer these later records to the early ones. I know a lot of fans like the acoustic/bongo stuff better. I like both, prefer the more recent stuff.
Thanks for commenting!