X&Y hit the airwaves and many critics conceded the possibility of a delayed sophomore slump. As Joe Tangari of Pitchfork magazine wrote in June 2005, the band’s “nice-guy charm, serviceable songwriting, and general inoffensiveness… aren’t the kind of traits that often lead to interesting music.” The album was written off as a so-so sequel to Parachutes. In the same month as Tangari, Jon Pareles of The New York Times labeled them “the most insufferable band of the decade,” and accused Martin of writing paradoxical songs that proudly proclaim his insecurity to the 40 million patrons of their albums throughout the world.
The real backbone of the band is their ability to create music that is simply too perfect. Sweeping violins and synthesizers, basic piano melodies, rhythm guitar, and drumbeats a monkey could maintain the sonic equivalent of a sterile operating room. “Yellow,” in particular is the prime sample of this idiot-proof take on music. Its basic progression from soft to loud and back and again for the entirety of the song is rather obnoxious. Without Martin’s singing, the music would actually qualify as decent, if only for a brief time before slipping into woeful repetition. Upon his arrival, things slide from manageable to narcissistic, with his crooning oohs and aahs, obnoxious dips in and out of falsetto, and unrequited desire to stare directly into the camera during every single one of their bloody music videos. Unrealistic and unbelievable lines like, “For you I’d bleed myself dry,” cement the band as just that; unrealistic and unbelievable.
As much as I want so badly to enjoy the simple beauty of their music, I can’t because I know the emotive quality to be completely fabricated.
This year’s release of Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends proved a campaign to appeal to an international audience marked by a world tour, a French cover art, songs like “Lovers in Japan,” “Cemetaries of London,” and “Chinese Sleep Chant,” and an overall Hispanic flavor. Rolling Stone contributor Will Hermes continues Tangari’s criticism that the band simply refuses to offend anybody by pursuing a branch of music that could drive a wedge through their now-worldwide listening audience. It’s like Chris Martin’s personal mission on earth is to make every human being like him.
Article comments
1 - Brian aka Guppusmaximus
I can totally agree with you about Coldplay(I call'em U3) but you lost your credibility when you dropped names like Wilco & Bright Eyes. All this sh!te sounds the same to me... Artsy Fartsy Bullsh!t!
2 - ,,,yaya
Coldplay makes bland music? What a fucking ignorant statement just because this ignorant bastard denies their fame. Their music is universally enjoyable and they have created their own type of sound. Go listen to some Punk-Emo-Power-Pop-Rock, that's the BLAND music!
3 - ,,,yaya
BTW, I'm from Dallas and we are more appealed to music like Coldplay and we ain't country two-stepper fools. Don't be an idiot!
4 - kapwho
This is a horrible post.
Radiohead? Their music sounds like animals dying. there's no rhythm, meaning, anything. Thom Yorke is a pretentious bitch.
5 - zingzing
"Radiohead? Their music sounds like animals dying."
mmm. that's the stuff.
6 - dick
I agree with you. People like coldplay because people are afraid of change and coldplay sound like a million other dull and predictable bands.
Radiohead to me make very powerful music and they are interesting because they don't do things the way the majority of mainstream artists do. Saying radiohead have no rythm is like saying 11 is not a number because you can only count to ten. It's just silly.
I get why people maybe like coldplay because some of the piano melodies are quite nice, even some of the other instruments occasionally, but the music is on the whole pretty bland, very predictable and very average.
Try sigur ros, maybe? Almost, almost, like a slower, better, more emotive, better layered, more interesting version of coldplay.