Everybody stop. What the hell is going on? Someone has taken Rob Zombie out of the world of Spookshow and placed him in some happy, clappy, "rock is back" kind of band. Educated Horses is the new Rob Zombie album. Ooh, yes, cower in fear, for the heavily made-up, dreadlocked Zombie has transformed into a cowboy with a new voice.
As a long-time listener of Rob Zombie, I was looking forward to this album with incomprehensible excitement. I don't listen to Rob Zombie to get something out of his music so to speak; I listen to his music because it's trashy fun with great metal riffs and an entertaining homage to horror movies. These elements have been greatly reduced for Educated Horses, so much so that even your own mother will be in love with Mr Zombie at the end of this album.
This is not to say that an artist can't change. I'm all for change – if it's good. Educated Horses falls a little short of the good changes in Zombie's music.
The album opens with "Sawdust in the Blood," which is really just a pointless opening track. Unlike The Sinister Urge in which we are told we are sinners and that we are going to a painful everlasting fiery hell, "Sawdust in the Blood" tells me nothing other than I'm in for an unexpected ride. Judging from the track, I'd say that I'm probably not going to like this ride - much.
Just when I think I'm going to fall off my chair in boredom, "American Witch" kicks in. The song is Rob Zombie heaven and you will immediately notice the change in Zombie's voice. It's less gravely then on previous endeavors, which means listeners can actually understand him. However, "American Witch" doesn't turn out the way it's all cracked up to be. First of all, it goes for a tad bit long. When you think it should have ended at least two minutes ago, it keeps going blurring into the background. Of course, we won't forget the most important annoyance of this song – the clapping.
Once you think the clapping madness is over when the next track "Foxy, Foxy" begins, you start losing faith in Rob Zombie. Skip ahead a few more tracks and notice this motif, the clapping, can be heard in five of the 11 songs. Considering that two of the 11 songs are just filler tracks, this means that five out of the nine actual songs contain clapping. That's probably four too many songs that involve the clapping on a Rob Zombie record. Clapping is something you associate with a Franz Ferdinand record or a Jet song, not Rob Zombie.
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Article comments
1 - Guppusmaximus
I gotta give you more credit for taking the time to write an indepth article about a useless jackass who hasn't released anything that resembles decent music since "Lasexorcisto..." and even that album was boring. Anyways, I always like your reviews even if I hate the band.
2 - Guppusmaximus
*oops* Twofer Tuesday...LMFAO.
3 - Chris Beaumont
Always have been, always will be a Zombie fan. Thanks for the review. I think I may have liked it more than you, though.... :)
4 - Chris Beaumont
Has anyone listened to the Scum of the Earth CD? That is what happens when two bands that aren't very prolific look for other things to do! I think it's a pretty good disk and sounds like old school Zombie.
5 - Guppusmaximus
Umm.. yeah, I took a listen to it on myspace, because every D-bag has a site on myspace, and that's the problem... It sounds exactly like the sh!tty Zombie when he changed. The reason he changed his sound after "Lasexeristo" is due to the fact that his bandmates left.*Kinda Funny*
"Thunder Kiss '65" was his only decent song...
6 - kwame
this is the kinda zombie i dont' like. zombie form astrocreep up until sinister urge was what i looked forward to in an album. im not saying its a bad album. not at all. but its not to my liking.
7 - Disaster
Im annoyed that you didn't comment the best song in the album....
LORDS OF SALEM which is TRACK 11
this song is one of my favorite of all the songs he ever written.
8 - sean
Jeez dude get over it. Go make your own record. In fact make every record sound the same and see how fast that last. Most of Rob Zombie's songs on his past albums are just noise and he really couldn't sing at all. You guys wouldn't of liked them if it did have a good beat. Practice makes perfect. I like Foxy Foxy. American Witch dies at the chorus but its still better than alot of the other noise he has sung in the past. I love songs like Dead Girl Superstar, Demon Speeding, Dragula, Feel So Numb, Living Dead Girl, Superbeast, More Human Than Human, Thunder Kiss 65, to name a few. He should sing TK 65 again, since he sings better now.
9 - sean
btw who are the 20 innocent in American Witch, he's referering to.