Artist: Goblin Cock
Album: Bagged and Boarded
Release Date: October 25, 2005
Label: Absolutely Kosher
Web: www.absolutelykosher.com/goblincock.html
Rating: 569 out of 666 stars
When the Goblin Cock CD arrived in my mailbox I thought for sure someone had made a mistake. The cover of the the band's debut album Bagged and Boarded is a painting of a goblin king sitting on a throne with his huge err... well.. his huge pierced cock spilling out onto the floor. This is censored on Amazon.com, but you can view the image in all it's glory here.
The painting looks like it came from an old Dungeons & Dragons book and in fact, it kinda has. Supposedly, the band commissioned an artist who did work for Dungeons & Dragons Monster manuals. The back cover shows the band in dark black robes and the lyrics are printed on the inside, but in RUNES! So if you want to read the lyrics you need to decipher them, preferably while sitting in a pentagram with 5 black candles burning. At this point I'm starting to think this band is either gonna really suck or they'll be hysterical.
The cover worked. I had to hear it right then, so I took it with me in the car for a trip to the supermarket.
The album kicks off with a typical metal/classical acoustic piece that sounds like it came right from the drow elf songbook. The intro fades quickly and gives way to the first single, "Stumped". It's a sludgy doom-pop number that drives forward like an undead beast. You can download a MP3 of the song here or view the video here.
I was instantly hooked.
In fact, I drove around just to hear the entire CD before I actually went to the supermarket. As the disc thundered forward I realized this was a real band with a Spinal Tap sense off humor. It was not the adolescent thrash metal I had expected. The music contains the doom and slow driving rhythms of Black Sabbath and the vocal phrasing and hooks of the Offspring. The final product is flavored with touches of Jane’s Addiction and a great sense of humor. It’s a combination that works.
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