This Pretty Ricky outfit came to my attention at Blogcritics. Articles about them and B5 have been totally dominating our comments section. 2,300+ comments on one Blogcritics story constitutes buzz as far as I'm concerned, so let's see what all the fuss is all about. Hey, I'm down with the kids.
Problem is, the state of popular music has deteriorated so far that most of the kids wouldn't recognize good music if it came up and bit them in the ass. This album is just worthless corporate pollution marketed strictly to musical illiterates.
Anticipating a negative response, let me just pre-emptively dismiss the obvious. I'm a 43 year old white man from Indiana, so what do I know about what makes a good r&b boy band? Well, what I know is MUSIC- and this nonsense isn't even vaguely it.
For starters, there is nothing on this album that would constitute a song, in any meaningful sense of the word. I can pretty well guarantee you that no one will ever, ever do a cover version of any of these "songs," cause there's just nothing there to cover. There's no melody, even in a rap kind of way. Most of this is more or less just talking over beats.
It's talking over entirely mundane, rote synthesizers and drum machine beats at that. Best I can tell, somebody must have literally phoned this production in. Least ways, I have trouble believing that someone would sit in a room and concentrate on what they were doing and still manage to come up with something so entirely generic and impersonal.
Perhaps this record is simply the product of a committee. Some entertainment industry guy has set his sons up as a group, hired some studio hacks, a pr firm, and voila! I accused Mariah Carey of being a corporate whore, but this Pretty Ricky album makes Mimi sound like an avant garde artiste.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Matt Paprocki
Kudos to you Al for daringly taking on this timely "topic."
Also, my condolences for your e-mail inbox. When you awake tomorrow, you should have more comments posted than Santa gave out gifts.
2 - Al Barger
Re: "more comments" That's why God made Gmail.
I won't mind if some of the younguns give me a good cussing- I deserve a little of that from time to time I reckon. I just wish they'd listen to some Marvin or Boyz II Men first, and THEN tell me I'm wrong.
3 - Matthew T. Sussman
In 30 years these Pretty Ricky fans are gonna be all crotchety about "kids these days" and their Soylent Green.
P.S., I'm 23 and can't stand the music today. But Styx can still bring the house down, as of Aught Three.
4 - Dave Nalle
Wow Al, you really are a glutton for punishment. BTW, it takes about a week and a half for the hordes to discover a Pretty Ricky posts, so you still have time to delete this.
Dave
5 - Aaman
You will be struck down by many bolts of teenage hormonal lightning, then B5, Pretty Ricky and Omarion will dress up in drag and dance over your blog.
Great, great derisive writing - Editor's Pick of the Year, from me, at least
6 - swingingpuss
When will you be featured on O'Reilly - both for your acerbity and your insight on 'bad' popular music, one of his pet peeves?
Great stuff, Al, as usual
7 - gonzo marx
i, for one, cannot wait to see what happens to this thread in about a week or so
it should be fucking hilarious
big Al, yer a brave...albeit masochistic, fellow
Excelsior!
8 - Al Barger
Thanks Gonzo. I ain't feeling all that especially brave, though. I ain't scared of some herd of illiterate teenagers. What are they going to do, street slang me to death?
9 - gonzo marx
when in Doubt, big al..just listen to the Gourds cover of "Gin and Juice" i sent you
that will sustain you!!
best....cover....ever
Excelsior!
10 - Sister Ray
Is that supposed to be "oui, oui" instead of wee-wee?
Either way, yuck. Much better naughty French pop out there, such as the original "Lady Marmalade."
11 - MARCUS' NMB POOH BEAR
FIRST OFF YALL WHITE PEOPLE WRITING SHIT THAT DONT MAKE NO SENSE. PRETTY IS SEXY AND BETTA LOOKING THEN YO FAMILY AND MOMMA CONBINED. DONT EVA SAY SHIT LIKE DAT, THEY HAVE BETTA MONEY THEN YOULL EVER MAKE. THAY LIVE IN THE MIAMI WHERE WE HOT AND READY, WE GOT THE BEST BASKETBALL TEAM IN HISTORY. THEY CD WAS THA BEST BEFORE CHRIS BROWN OR OMARION. THEY BROTHAS AND THAT MAKES THEM FAMOUS!!!!!!!!!!!
12 - Matt Paprocki
And WE don't make sense? How is their money better exactly? Care to elaborate?
13 - MARCUS' NMB POOH BEAR
they black and we got more money than yall white crusty asses. happy kwanzaa evry one!!!!!!!!!!
14 - gonzo marx
so..rather than Talent, Ability, crushing tight rhymes and content that makes you go "aaaaahhh?"
your "god" is the almighty dollar?
i'll take mine, and represent Rage against the Machine, or Public Enemy against all the "pop" goes the weasel bullshit trying to "pass" for being the shit when all it contains is empty hype
knowledge and talent should always be greater than bullshit and hype
nuff said?
Excelsior!
15 - Nita
Thats your personal opinion, but i could say that the rock crap that white teens listen to promotes suicide... just listen to Hawthorne Heights Ohio is for lovers. Example:"So cut my wrists and black my eyes,So I can fall asleep tonight, or die." Yeah, thats quality music. Anyway, how is it that some old white man that probably doesn't even listen to rap and r&b is going to comment on it.
16 - gonzo marx
Nita you raise some good points
i'll gladly grant you that a lot of what's out there on the airwaves is indeed crap
you see, one the Innovators come and go..the Imitators get signed for the green to cash in and capitalize on unsuspecting young folks
no matter the style or genre, this is a Truth in the business
you want to help fix that...then stay away from the crap, and seek out the real Deal...support Art with yor wallet, and you will get more Art...support empty audio cotton candy, with no substance...and that's what you get..whether you are speaking about Rap, Rock, or Country styles
as for me being able or qualified to "speak on" any of this...let me advise that you don't know me from a can of paint
i was at the Ritz in New York when Public Enemy and Anthrax told us to "Bring the Noise" live on that stage
nuff said?
Excelsior!
17 - Al Barger
Nita, you're at least halfway trying to make a reasonable argument, so I'll give you some credit there. One thing, though, you shouldn't presume too much about what I listen to. I was raised on Johnny Cash and Elvis- but in my father's house there are many mansions. I was going to see Public Enemy and the Digital Underground live before some of y'all were even born.
You perhaps misunderstand me somewhat though with the Hawthorne Heights Ohio thing. I'm not familiar with that specific record, so I can't comment on it. However, I don't put much stock in a lot of these crappy bands. That I don't like crappy r&b doesn't mean that I do like crappy rock.
But that suicide thing misses my point. I'm not stuck on thinking that music has to promote good life values- or I'd be listening to the crappy modern commercial country music that sucks, but mostly does at this point promote good family values. It's just that it isn't good music and makes me want to go get crazy just to get the bland taste out my mouth.
My objection to Pretty Ricky is that it just ain't there for MUSIC lovers. If they had better music, I'd overlook a LOT of nonsense. For comparison, follow the story link out on Snoop to see my recent write-up on one of his albums. I had similar objections to the ridiculously over the top woman hating, but some of that record is pretty good. Make GOOD MUSIC, and I'll give you full credit.
18 - Jess
i dont belive wa im readin how can u say that bout pretty ricky..? dey jus a new boy band jus cuz u dont like it dont mean no1 else will i personally think itz really good n i enjoy listenin 2 it no means to say that every1 else will but still w.e
19 - RogerMDillon
Sorry, I can't pass on my kudos. While I'm sure your review is spot-on, it comes off as just another calculated, cheap stunt to draw attention to yourself like the post about "Imagine" coinciding with the anniversary of Lennon's death. Why else go into the Pretty Ricky thread, taunt the kids and provide them a link?
You're a good writer, but the stench of manipulation from this post is overwhelming.
20 - Ciara BKA Pimpette
FUCK EVERY BODY WHO THINK THAT ALBUM IS BAD YALL JUST HATIN
21 - Al Barger
Ciara, I apologize for my ignorance, not being from the street and all- but what would be the difference between a "Pimpette" and a plain old prostitute?
22 - Ciara BKA Pimpette
LOOK AL...... PIMPETTE AND PROSTITUTE ARE TWO TOTALLY DIFFRENT THINGS PROSTITUTE MEANS TO SELL YOUR BODY AND I MOST DEFFINATELY DONT DO THAT AND PIMPETTE MEANS YOU ARE A FEMALE PIMP A PIMP IS A MALE WHO HAS EVERY WOMAN WANTING HIM................ PIMPETTE IS HAVING EVERY MAN WANTING TO GO WITH YOU AND THATS WHAT I HAVE.... IM A PIMPETTE
23 - Ciara BKA Pimpette
AND IM NOT FROM THE STREET I WAS BORN AND RAISED IN THE GHETTO..........THE DIRTY SOUTH
24 - Al Barger
Alright, Ciara. I'm just trying to understand the "Pimpette" thing. I would usually understand the word "pimp" to be a man who markets the services of prostitutes. I was trying to figure backwards from that to suss out your meaning. You're putting a different meaning to the word pimp than I'm used to.
OK, then. What would be the difference then between a "pimpette" and simply a hot chick, or is that just another way of saying the same thing?
25 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
I got to tell you guys. There are some great things about living in Israel. There is the kafé hafúkh, falafel, fresh, delicious halvah, great Italian restaurants, pretty girls, shwarma AND... on Kol Yisraél, Galei Tzáhal, and Gal Galátz, the three big radio stations here, I do NOT have to listen to this crappy "music" put out by idiots to pump cash out of ten year old girls.
In addition, as bad as the Hilonim may be here, they are much more decent than the pimpettes and other illiterates who can't even spell, much less put a single sentence together without cuss words thrown in.
Good job, Al. You did a good job tossin' the ninja stars around.