EXPOSITION
It’s not Bart Davenport’s fault that I vibrate with intense discomfort every time I play Maroon Cocoon. The fact of the matter is that I’m really not the right guy to be reviewing this disc. It’s touchy-feely singer-songwriter stuff, the sort of thing that got tagged as “soft rock" back in the day. If there truly is a Hell and upon the advent of my death my soul is sent there, the soundtrack I’ll be subjected to will be a heady mix of German opera, the entire Manhattan Transfer catalog, and soft rock. Does that mean I think you’re a horrible person if you happen to like that sort of thing? No, not at all – it’s just not the flavor I savor. Different strokes for different folks. And so on and so on and shoo-be-doo-be-doo-be.
That said, the review has fallen into my lap, so it’s mine to deal with. I just thought I should let y’all know what was up, in the interest of full disclosure.
DIGRESSION
The weakest part of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, as far as I’m concerned, was Crosby, Stills, and Nash. Otherwise, they were pretty OK. CSN always struck me as being simultaneously incredibly slick and hopelessly lame. The prime example of this ickyness would be the cat chow commercial known as “Our House”. (Now that I think of it - somebody really did use it in a commercial, didn’t they?) “I’ll light the fire / you put the flowers in the vase that you bought today” is a call to violence, people. You just want to see the 18-wheeler come barreling through the front yard and through the kitchen, or maybe the gas main could burst at the same moment he lights the fire, or a worn-out Soviet satellite could fall on the godamned house, obliterating the smug, self-satisfied proto-yuppies within while miraculously sparing the two cats in the yard.* Something, anything, to cut the sickly sweetness of the song.
Or maybe that’s just me.
Now, I’m willing to cut Graham Nash a little slack for having been in The Hollies, and Stephen Stills gets a bit of a pass for being a former Buffalo Springfield. You’d think the same courtesy would be extended to David Crosby since he’d been a part of The Byrds, but you’d be wrong. I freely admit that my distaste for Crosby is not entirely what you might call rational, but for some reason Walrus Boy has always been the sand in my swimtrunks. I can’t totally justify it (well, I probably could, but that’s another piece), but he really annoys the hell out of me. So I place the blame for my inability to get behind CSN squarely on the pudgy shoulders of Mr. Crosby.
Article comments
1 - raven
what a horrible review! but i guess you already know that. i mean, you were talking around the album and not about it. next time, if you don't like the genre of music, just pass the review to someone else; it's not worth making everyone listening to your complaining, and it is not fair to the artist.
bart davenport is a great artist, and he is phenomenal live.
2 - bmarkey
Eh. First off, I don't recall "making" anyone do anything. You clicked on that review of your own free will, and I'm willing to bet there was no one holding a gun to your head to make you finish reading it. And secondly, I did offer to send it on to anybody who wants to take a shot at it. I'll even pay the postage myself.
You say Bart Davenport is a great artist, and phenomenal live. That's as may be. I don't care for what he had to offer on this disc, and I tried to be as nice about that as I possibly could in saying that. I could have just ripped the shit out of it, y'know.
C'est la vie.
3 - bmarkey
Second paragraph, third line should read "I don't care for what he had to offer on this disc, and I tried to be as nice as I possibly could in saying that."
4 - paul k
If soft rock moves you to violence, perhaps you should seek professional help before someone gets hurt.
5 - bmarkey
Hey Paul, they've got this thing now called a "sense of humor". You should really look into getting one. All the cool kids are doin' it.
6 - wally bangs
The great writer to whom I pay homage to by taking the name, Wally Bangs, Mr. Lester Bangs once wrote a piece titled James Taylor Marked For Death. Those who think that bmarkey stepped over the line in his review should really find the Lester piece, read it, and then return to apologize for bmarkey's judicious handling of such lame crap as Bart Davenport.
7 - Bart Davenport
bmarkey - This is one of my favorite reviews. It was funny and somehow not so offensive. It amazes me that although you hate the genre, you still seem to have more references than reviewers who said they liked it. They seem to drop the name, James Taylor as if they've never heard anything else from the 70s. YOU on the other hand are familiar with Stephen Bishop and Michael Franks. I am not insulted at all by those comparrisons and prefer them over JT. When I was a kid, most of the other kids were really into Led Zep but me, I liked the sound of The Carpenters. Later on, I got into punk and then 60s garage bands. But I've always rocked the hardest to the slick, cheesey, coked out and yet somehow wooden and earthy feel of "On and On" or "Baker Street" or "Dream Weaver".
I almost want to put this review on my website because it is so intensly opposed to what I do. I rarely respond to things like this. But I have to give you a thumbs up for writing a funny piece and ripping into my influences instead of me.
rock softly,
- Bart Davenport
8 - wally bangs
Okay, I take it back, Bart Davenport is not lame crap. Anybody that's as sure of themselves as he obviously is deserves nothing put praise. I still might not like his music much, but as a person, Bart is moving to the top of the line for defending bmarkey's review.
9 - bmarkey
Hey Bart - Thanks for taking the review in the spirt in which it was intended. It's nice to find an artist with a sense of humor about his work. Responding here was a pretty rock & roll move, and I salute you for it.
Personally, I think reprinting this review on your site would be a very wise move on your part; if nothing else, maybe it would get your fans to calm down a bit.
PS - Just between you and me, the Michael Franks reference was intended as something of a compliment.
10 - Caryn Rose
This is starting to remind me of the old CREEM "Letters To The Editor". And this piece could have run in the magazine and fit in.
Which is the highest of high compliments.
It's rare to find a music fan with a sense of humor, even rarer to find a musician with one. This makes me want to listen to this record, now, or at least check out his live show when he comes to the Big Apple.
11 - Temple Stark
The review and the response were both pretty cool.
>>The weakest part of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, as far as I’m concerned, was Crosby, Stills, and Nash.
hahahahaha