He looked genuinely hurt, but more confused than anything else. I patted him on the shoulder to reassure him. "It's okay," I said as gently as I could muster. "But you have to realize there is no such animal as the best song ever written. As soon as you name one, you have to think — wait that wouldn't have existed if this hadn't come first. "Bo Diddley" is one of the outstanding riffs, "Louie Louie" established the unintelligible lyric, "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" probably lay the foundation for rebellion — it goes on and on, and then backtracks to the raw basics — Robert Johnson's "Crossroads" and circles once again to Nine Inch Nails.
"See, it gets down to this. the best rock song ever written was either never put to paper, since it was created thousands of years ago when Africa was still an arid land and Man was discovering the power of a good riff — or, it lies waiting somewhere in the vast expanse of the future.
"Either way, if and when you ever hear it, you'll know it. The sun will nova immediately afterwards. Now, off with you — and don't worry about such things!"
Rudy scampered away, and I left with a sense that my work for that day was done.
Article comments
1 - Glen Boyd
Ray you are a very, very funny man. Smart too. Just don't let it go to your head okay?
-Glen
2 - Glen Boyd
Ray,
This article has been submitted for News Promotions at Digg and Netscape. Important Note here: I was not successful submitting this to Reddit. The Reddit site was very glitchy and would not take it, so after getting error messages for an hour I had to finally give up.
Sorry about this. Maybe another editor can give it a try. Is EB still in town?
-Glen
3 - Benjamin Cossel
Great article Ray. I think you are absolutely correct. There can never be a best or worst, just a growing collection of "our" favorites.
4 - Connie Phillips
Very nice article, Ray, and a very valid point!
5 - Jon Sobel
You're stupid. Everybody knows "Smells Like Teen Spirit" is the best rock song. Anyone who doesn't agree is a stinky poophead.
6 - T. Michael Testi
Nice take! Who's going to guide Rudy when your gone?
7 - Anna Creech
Jon: What kind of poophead isn't stinky? Hm... maybe one that smells like Teen Spirit! ;)
FWIW, I submitted it to Reddit just now.
8 - bryan price
Hilarious!
9 - mjd
Dust in the Wind - Kansas
Layla - Eric Clapton
Dreams - Fleetwood Mac
Dream On - Aerosmith
Oops, you must be right; there is no such thing as the Best or Worst Rock Song. I started with the Kansas tune, but it is hard to forget about the others...
Me and Bobby McGee - Janis Joplin
Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2 - Pink Floyd
The list goes on...
10 - zingzing
are those the best or the worst?
11 - bryan price
now that was funny.
12 - A.L. Harper
Congratulations! This article has been chosen by A.L. Harper as an editor's pick of the week.