“We all make mistakes, boss. That’s why they put rubber on the ends of pencils.”
And nowadays everyone knows about them. Just ask Tiger Woods.
That lovely line from Allen Jenkins to Humphrey Bogart in William Wyler’s film Dead End is of course outdated in this day and age. You can’t erase your mistakes anymore, not with the web and cell phone video cameras and email archives and everybody, in this fame-crazy culture that makes celebrities out of housewives, tweeting and texting their own and everyone else’s every move in real time.
In his spot-on article “Tiger’s Imperfect World,” Yahoo Sports writer Dan Wetzel observes, “In a perfect world, the public wouldn’t be obsessed with celebrity gossip.” But as The Killers sing, “This is the world that we live in.”
It’s the world in which people hate other people for being different, in which homophobia is alive and well, in which contradictions and hypocrisy abound, in which some people get away with stuff and others don’t, and in which Disney/ABC cancels, cancels, and cancels Adam Lambert’s ass.
Why? They set him up for controversy and ratings — “seemed to give him all the rope they could, just hoping he’d use it,” wrote one reader — and then pulled the rug out from under him. The GMA cancellation — okay, that was chicken-shit prudence. Yeah, it would be peachy if they’d had Adam’s balls and didn’t honor the “marginal” - as they termed it - number of objectors, or their advertisers, and stood behind the wild child and the millions who didn’t complain, but one strike and you’re out? No, that is nothing less than cruel and unusual punishment. F*** you, ABC!
I know of “someone” (not his real name) who once “acquired” an “item” that belonged to someone other than him, an item he procured through an outrageous stunt that involved a physical feat of derring-do, so that he could present said item to “someone” (not her real name) as a token of his affection. It turns out that this item was worth in excess of a certain number of that green stuff they call “dollars,” making the stunt something they call a “felony.” When a “certain person” (not his real name) found out “the Man” (his real name) was after the someone who took the item, he thought it was a joke. “For God’s sake,” he exclaimed, “don’t they know it was just a prank?!”