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Music Review: Miss Tila – Welcome To The Darkside EP

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Miss Tila (aka Tila Tequila) wishes to let everyone know that she isn’t simply a pint-sized publicity stunt. We already know she can model, date a bunch of boys and girls on television, and become quite noticed on the Internet with Twitter posts and bombastic websites alike. However, did you know she could sing?

Apparently, the message she wishes to get out is that there seems to be little she is not willing to try. So be it. Despite the fact that in the past, the public has been welcomed to see her backside, it is time to be introduced to her “Darkside.”

The short, three-song EP released a few months ago displays the basic premise that yes, Miss Tila can sing a bit. How it actually sounds or if the songs are any good is not the issue here; Miss Tila has proven a point for her fans. Whether or not that point needed to be struck with the rest of the world by releasing music for public consumption is another matter. Like Paris Hilton before her, Miss Tila is hoping for success, but likely isn’t (or shouldn’t be) expecting it.

Miss Tila has a voice that is more prone to loud brashness than soft tones. Her husky, sometimes struggling voice tries to get low and sultry on Depeche Mode’s “Blue Dress.” The slow pace of the song, combined with a twanging guitar straight out of a “Twin Peaks” introduction, is clearly meant to sauce up the listener. It’s a decent enough listen, but given that one associates Miss Tila with all-caps, exclamations and partial nudity, it’s not likely to pleasantly wow anyone that’s interested.

If one thought that Miss Tila was trying to tone down her image by getting rather serious about her music content, let the opening lines of “Get Me Off” persuade one otherwise: “I spread my legs wide open for ya baby/so be a man, pump it hard and get sloppy.” Ah yes, that’s more like it. Her aims are clearly to turn this song into a dance club tune where bump’n’grind orgies occur late at night, so with the given beat, pace, and lyrical content, she definitely may get her wish. It remains to be seen if she can somehow insert herself into the spot quickly vacated by past image-conscious sexpots such as Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera.

The final track would have to be the tiebreaker. Does Tila want to go back to a radio friendly song or continue with the steamy club icon bit? Unfortunately, she chooses to cover Yoko Ono’s “Walking On Thin Ice.” Her voice does get a little softer and raspier to hint at vulnerability, but the “la la la la la la-da-da la la la …” transitions from verse to verse aren’t interesting. Clocking in at more than four minutes in length, the song is a tedious listening venture.

If Miss Tila is serious about getting into the music business, she might as well stick with raunchy material and put out more dance tunes like “Get Me Off.” She has tried rapping in the past, which fits her voice more than actual singing, so that mixed bag avenue is available as well. However, this EP is mostly evidence that Miss Tila is willing to try anything out if it might get her more exposure. Given the celebrity trade that she practices, that’s what one tends to do. Therefore, see you at the “Miss Tila vs. the World” movie premiere in a few years!

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About Evan Mauser