After four years it’s time to stick a fork in it, pop the champagne, and light up some cigars. Yes, the Twilight series is finally over. Five movies later (I refuse to ever call any of these films) and no lessons learned. What started as melodrama not even worthy of the CW comes the final chapter… well, the second half of the final chapter that is. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 is here and now the rest of us can breathe a sigh of relief that we never have to suffer through another one again. Okay, maybe “suffer” is too strong a word. Oh sure, there were lots of laughs along the way, but none of them coming from me were intentional. The Twi-hards will flock for sure, box-office records (at least their own) will be smashed, and the world will keep on turning.
Breaking Dawn – Part 2 hits the ground running – literally. Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) is a newborn “vampire” and she has just given birth to Renesmee (played by no less than ten different child actors!). Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) couldn’t be more prideful of his new family, even if their baby is a half-blood. Edward takes Bella out into the woods to train her on her newfound powers (including her new sparkling skin), then finds out that Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) has imprinted upon Renesmee (nicknamed Nessie, garnering one of very few intentional laughs). Bella is furious, but now they must decide what to do about keeping her father Charlie (Billy Burke) out of the loop for his own safety.
Bella and Edward must also find a way to keep Renesmee (now played by Mackenzie Foy) safe from the Volturi, led by Aro (Michael Sheen, still the only cast member who seems to know just how ridiculous the series is), after Irina (Maggie Grace) reports Bella and Edward’s crime of having a baby. The Volturi think the child is immortal which is against vampire law and they must pay for their crimes. Ya know, die. Meanwhile, Alice (Ashley Greene) and Jasper (Jackson Rathbone) have disappeared and Edward has been collecting allies across the globe to stand against the Volturi in their defense that Renesmee is not a threat, nor immortal. It all comes down to the big “twist” during the final showdown as the Cullens and friends take one last stand.
Anyone who has read Stephenie Meyer’s novels know how everything is going to end. There’s been such huge talk about one big “twist.” But all it really winds up being is one of films’ biggest cop-out endings since Nicolas Cage’s Next. Had they actually stuck to the final proceedings and screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg not thrown in such a ridiculous turn of events, this could have wound up being the series’ saving grace. Instead, everything is just as repetitive and monotonous as the previous four movies. The cast seems to be having more fun than usual in this outing, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us are. Director Bill Condon shows more finesse than in Part 1, yet all Part 2 really winds up being is the final nail in the coffin so that we can bury the series into our subconscious where all five parts of the Twilight saga rightfully belong.
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