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Movie Review: Reno 911: Miami

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Run! Save yourselves! It's too late for me! God, the acid is still burning my eyes. Thank you, baby Jesus. At least that takes away the pain of actually watching Reno 911: Miami.

If you are one of those people brought up in a cave and only came out into the world yesterday, this is the film for you. It is designed for the people that have never seen women’s boobies or heard the word “F&*$” and might still be impressed by them or shocked at the word. Or you are part of the public that is simply not old enough to get in to see the film but will either sneak in or con your folks into taking you.

Look, let me make this easy for you. There will be spoilers. Want me to give you one right now? The movie sucks. There, I have saved you the price of a ticket. Go watch something else.

Sure, there were a few funny bits, including one bit featuring a girl with a taser, another involving inept drug lords and their henchmen, and another during the closing credits with a suspected bong. That was it.

This movie is based on the presumption that the audience is a bunch of childish (not child like), immature, and downright stupid adults who still think that fart jokes are funny.

Well, okay. In a church, a fart is funny, even to an adult. However, seeing repeated acts of masturbation stopped being funny to most adults after watching all the different American Pie movies. Unless it is Band Camp, and I still wish I had learned to play an instrument. Never mind!

Paul Reubens, Danny DeVito, and The Rock all had cameos in this movie. Come on guys, have your careers all gone so bad you need money this bad? Look, I am not a rich man, but I could lend you a few bucks just so you didn't have to do this sort of crap. 

Please everyone, do yourselves a favor and go watch Music and Lyrics, Ghost Rider or Bridge to Teribithia. If you want a film filled with half-naked women that is actually funny, go for it. However, that movie is not Reno 911: Miami.

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About Larry Stanley

  • http://blogcritics.org/ Phillip Winn

    So you, uh, didn’t like it? :-)

  • http://www.penguincomics.net Larry Stanley

    I guess I was pretty vague, huh? No, I didn’t like it that much. lol

    Larry