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Movie Review: Frankenhooker

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Young Jeffery Franken is a troubled man. Kicked out of several medical schools, Jeffery is skilled in the arts of electrical biology. His ideas and methods, however, are often too extreme for academia. Living at home with his mom, Jeffery continues his experiments and studies on his own time in hopes of making a medical breakthrough so legendary, the medical world will have to take notice.

One afternoon at his fiancé’s house, they prepare for a birthday party for his future father-in-law. As Jeffery's fiancée Elizabeth unveils her father’s present, a remote-controlled lawnmower, all seems happy and warm in this close knit family. When Elizabeth starts to show her father how the remote works, something horrible happens. Elizabeth is dismembered in a spray of blood as she forgets she is standing in front of the now moving lawnmower.

Distraught at the site of his fiancé being cut to bits, Jeffery does what any semi-mad scientist would do – he grabs Elizabeth's head and a few other odds and ends from the scene of the accident and hides them away. Vowing to bring the love of his life back, Jeffery begins to formulate his plan of creating life and sets out to find the perfect body.

Boy do I love me some cheese. Frankenhooker is quite possibly the pinnacle of cheese and B-movie comedy. With so many elements coming together in one tiny package, any hardened veteran of B-movie fare would be loath to turn away. With many belly laughs throughout, a magnificent dosage of gore, and a plot so laughable you can't help but enjoy, this one now goes to the top of the list for late-night time killers and beer drinkers.

What's there to love about Frankenhooker? A lot, my friends. Starting off this mega cheese endeavor is our plot. A mad scientist who is mourning the death of his girlfriend thinks he can bring her back to life. An admirable notion of course, but Jeffery has to take it one step further. He can't just be concerned with bringing her back; he has to build her a new body as well. While he's at it why not give her a smoking hot bod? She should appreciate that right?

Most definitely a twist on the classic Frankenstein tale, Frankenhooker goes beyond a traditional retelling, retains the classic elements to keep it connected, then strives to cheese it up above and beyond the call of duty. Laughing all the way, they then populate the film with hundreds of crack smoking hookers. How can we not love something as expertly crafted as this?

Moving beyond the plot, Frankenhooker contains so many elements meant to disturb and titillate, it is downright impressive to count the various little quirks sprinkled about. The movie opens on a close up shot of a brain with an eyeball embedded into its frontal lobe. One of Jeffery's many experiments, we watch as he sits at his fiancé’s dinner table working away.

Later, as our star begins to formulate his plan, he decides to have a romantic meal with his fiancé’s head, complete with wine and poetry. With comic results, we watch as he pours wine down her lifeless gullet while reading off his militaristic-tinged love sonnet. Need more proof? As Jeffery begins to doubt himself and his plans for obtaining female body parts, he turns to trepanation to unlock his confusion. "That plan won't work! Back to the drawing board," he mutters as he raises his drill once again. "Don't worry, the hole’s already bored!"

Mr. Franken's plan is comedy in itself. As he decides on prostitutes to provide the perfect, shapely body parts, he heads across the bridge into New York City. Finding the pimp Zorro feeding his girls full of crack, Jeffery decides his own strain of 'Super Crack' would be the perfect device to lay the girl into eternal slumber.

Gathering a gaggle of girls from Zorro, he opts to play doctor as he measures and fits all seven hookers for the perfect bits. The comedy rises in an ongoing scene as we watch him move from girl to girl with comments such as 'yes, nice buoyancy' or 'ooo, those will do nicely, yes.' True comedic genius arrives as the girls discover Dr. Jeff's stash of super crack and begin to party.

Squealing with animalistic glee, they all begin to dance about and cavort as they puff away at their crack pipes. This in itself is enough to make one chuckle. The true belly laughs begin when the super crack kicks in and the girls begin to explode in various erotic poses. This is high quality entertainment, folks.

Even the die hard gore hound will find much to love and laugh about in Frankenhooker. Death by lawn mower and exploding hookers are one thing, but the true magic begins after Elizabeth comes back to life.

With the personality of all seven hookers coursing through her veins, she stomps about Zorro's territory looking to turn a trick. With most afraid of her mismatched parts, the few that take her up on her offer soon find out how 'shocking' intimate relations with the recently reanimated can be. Filled with an over abundance of electricity, we watch various men explode with smiles on their faces as she plies her trade.

'That sounds like a lot of gore!' you may be thinking, but oh no. There's more. In the fashion of director Frank Henenlotter's freakish Basket Case, we are also treated to the freakish beasts created accidentally by the reanimated bits and pieces of the dead hookers. (Jeffery's a nice guy, he was going to put them back together, you know.)

For fans of B-movie cheese, Frankenhooker is among the cream of the crop. Throwing together so many disturbing elements and interlacing it all with gut busting comedy, this is a movie that should be on the shelves of any fan of the genre. I know this will go into my late night rotation!

The highly coveted, often missed…

Five exploding hookers out of five. (On the cheese scale of course.)

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