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Monkey Love, Reality Sex

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A recent study demonstrated that women get turned on by monkey sex. Maybe it’s a connection to our past where the hairy man humped the hairy woman and had hairy children, or it’s about reality.

For men, fantasies are important. They get turned on by lesbian scenes, the more women, the merrier the fantasy, but does the phallus worshipping by keening oversexed women really have similar effect on the female audience?

Somehow I’m not too sure. For me porn is no longer appealing, it’s like a worn-out whore plying her trade to addicts in a crack house.

Does that make me a hypocritical porn writer? I think not, its just that I’ve finally decided to write about reality and not fantasies.

I am done writing about women with big titties and small waists. I would rather write about the everyday women with figures reshaped by childbirth and age. I would rather talk about women who juggle children, homes, husband, and their healthy appetites that they prefer to be over and done with and fall asleep to face another rigorous day.

There is no time for frills, lace, or fantasies; everything is time-bound as is sex. It has to be hard, fast, and real. It has to be real — like monkey sex — where there are no pretences and no desire for her to look good for her male; she shakes her booty and he grabs her.

It is wild sex at its best. The act is hot, mechanical, and friggin’ fast; over and done with in a matter of seconds. He is the alpha male, full of virility, shooting his load and then moving on to grooming and getting groomed.

The act of copulation has to be honed in. Playing with her nipples for too long would probably result in her mind wondering over the morning breakfast. Extensive fondling of the nub could result in untimely explosion resulting in her wanting to give her partner a blow job just to get off easy. Or worse still, pumping in the same position would lead to boredom.

Thus, it is all about monkey sex, raw and real.

Foreplay is doing the dishes, baby sitting the kids while she soaks in the tub, and then grabbing her for some raw monkey loving.

So, if you want to take some lessons watch the video.

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About Deepti Lamba

  • Armpit-sniffing, back-scratching, hot, steamy jungle fun would be a spam comment on any other post

  • This explains the reasoning behind American perverted culture and rap videos with thick ass hoes.

  • -E

    HAHA Great post. That’s just the way to wake up and start the day 🙂

  • HotWAX

    and I was going to wax my back this afternoon, instead I’ll go look for some monkey love. 😛

  • Fuzzy Nipples

    I think women are just f*cking strange. My wife told me in the past that when she was at the zoo and lions were getting it on, it was arousing. I shoved that thought into the deepest recesses of my mind, but here it comes back to me again. Also, from my experience, most women are bi. While all men’s arousal come from need to f*ck someone hot, women get turned on by all things sexual.

  • Hot sweaty monkey sex!!

    wow so many happy thoughts all in one place bi women lions getting it on monkeys getting it on fu*king i mean wow along with mass woman orgies how could u go wrong? 😛

  • Lol, the humor on this thread is mind blowing. Monkeying around is good for the soul don’t you think?

  • KYS

    “And all the monkeys aren’t in the zoo
    everyday you see quite a few
    so you see it’s all up to you,
    you could be better than you are
    you could be swinging on a star”

    Bing knew how ‘cosmic’ the monkey adventure could be.

  • If you put a million Shakespeares in a room with a typewriter, they will eventually type all the lyrics to the Monkees.

  • fds

    i got it.. ill bring some bitches to the zoo let them watch monkeys fuck while they get all turned on.. then ill take em back to mine and fuck them all!!

    Bwhahaha my idea is genius i tells you!

  • omg

    this is the worst post iv seen why post this trash? its not funny just crap

  • Dude

    Get A life, no really

  • Omg and Dude, get the monkey off your back and spank it!

  • incredulous

    Where the fuck is the evidence to back up this claim about women getting turned on my monkeyfucking? Is there some research paper? Why hasn’t the writer cited any studies? I reckon he was sitting there with his girl watching national geographic, a bit of monkey lovin’ came on, she got a bit horny, and so now he’s decided that all women are turned on by it.
    Oh, and fuzzy nipples, it’s not just women who are mostly bi. most guys have OCCASIONAL fantasies about other guys when they’re jerking off. What does that tell you (apart from the fact that I’m a queer poofter homo sissy pansy fag)?

  • If you read the post carefully you’d see the link- follow the trail and you will see who conducted the research and belonged to which university.

    And FYI I am a woman and the only time I see national geographic is with my three year old

  • Incredulous, when words on the interweb are blue, they indicate a link. When you follow that link, in this case attached to the words “monkey sex,” you’ll find this article, which gives some of the details. Admittedly, you might have to click on more link (the blue words, remember) to find even more details, like “The study, conducted by Meredith Chivers of the Center for Addiction and Mental Health and J. Michael Bailey of Northwestern University, was published in the October issue of Biological Psychology.”

    And there you have it.

  • Phillip, men like you remind us that chivalry isnt dead or is it a common Texan quality? 😉

  • the yellow money

    what a weird study….

  • SP, I’m a Texas transplant, so I guess it’s my family more than where I live. 🙂

  • You sure your last name isn’t Bush?

  • shaun reillley

    the problem is, ive read this, tried to get my girl to watch monkey porn and she slapped me, then dumped me (sadface) so i gues its back to trying to get women with good old fasion human porn 😉

  • i love monkeys


    The animals in that video are CHIMPANZEES, not MONKEYS. Look closely at them. Do you see tails? Go read the definitions and differences between chimpanzees and monkeys.

    So really, this thread is about hot Chimp “Love”.