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“MISSION AMERICA’S” MISSION? PREVENTING FEMALE FACIAL HAIR.

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I’ve always wondered why those on the right insist that legalizing same-sex marriages will usher in the end of civilization as we know it. For some reason, the argument that once people can marry within their own gender, they will naturally want to marry their daughters and/or dogs just doesn’t have that ring of truth.

So thank god for Ms. Linda Harvey, president of Mission America, who was kind enough to spell out the real threat in her informative and fact-based article, Josh is taking Matt to the prom.

Suddenly, it all makes so much sense. We have to stop same-sex marriages because otherwise teenage girls will start trying to grow beards, apply for tax-funded mastectomies and take hormone shots so they can play varsity football. High school boys, meanwhile, will start dating 29-year old male AIDS victims, be voted the “Cutest Couple” in their class, and enjoy mutual masturbation in front of their camp counselors.

Thank you, Ms. Harvey, for opening my eyes to these dangers. Not the dangers of same-sex marriage, of course, but rather the dangers of same-family marriage. Because an intellect such as yours doesn’t just happen overnight: in fact, it requires a family tree which stopped forking a long, long time ago.

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About copygodd

  • RedTard

    If you told someone fifty years ago that we would be allowing gay marriages in some states today I think they would have thought you were looney as well. Of course you couldn’t have used the word ‘gay’ as they wouldn’t have yet known what you were talking about. Also, women are already taking male hormones to compete in sports. Bodybuilding is an extreme example but the technique is used in others. I think it is conceivable that the practice could spill over to younger athletes.

    Anyway, let me fill in the holes in the right wing argument for you since you claim not to understand. People on the right believe that government policy is a strong factor when it comes to shaping morals in a society. A great example is the “no-fault divorce laws” which were implemented several years ago. People on the left claimed that the laws would not affect most people’s marriage (much of the same arguments you have today). History has shown that the divorce rate has greatly increased since the laws have been implemented and the family has continued to erode. People on the right take that as proof that any further changes to the marriage laws will only further complicate the problems we already face.

    I don’t think it is that simple myself. The government does not dictate morality, popular culture does. By the time the right is fighting these things in court it has already been decided, for better or worse, in the court of public opinion. I have no doubt that gays and lesbians will have the full right to marry at some point in the future. I’m not sure why we are going to waste so many resources fighting about it now.

  • Eric Olsen

    Actually, “no fault” has been in effect, at least in California where I got divorced in 1990, since well before then, and the divorce rates have actually begun to swing back the other way after peaking. this is the same pendulum swing you get when you change/liberalize any social situation.

    Sounds to me like the woman is deranged. Nice post CG!

  • http://copygodd.blogspot.com copygodd

    i’ve no doubt that someday (if not already) girls in high school will take hormones to compete in athletics. but i certainly don’t believe it will be because of same-sex marriages. rather, you can look to our country’s “win at all costs” mentality for that one.

    as for the conservative viewpoint that government policy can shape public morals, you’re absolutely right. it’s not that simple. nothing concerning government policy ever is. in this case, however, the right is only prolonging the inevitable. same-sex marriages will be legalized in our lifetime, and really, why shouldn’t they be? after all, in the words of some comic whose name escapes me at the moment, homosexuals should have the same right to get divorced and lose half their shit as we do.