I am in a quandary. I have been married for six years and I am dreadfully unhappy with myself. I feel I should be ecstatic, for my husband is generous and treats me with kindness. However, as cruel as this sounds, I am not fully invested in the relationship. I feel I need someone who is emotionally deeper, for some reason, like a Scorpio.
I feel like I'm in love with a friend. Sadly, I feel a deeper connection with him than I do with my husband. Overall, I'm very, very restless right now and I feel the need for change, but I feel stalled at the same time. What's going on, and is there any hope that this will pass?
Yes, this will pass. It is passing now, but your chart shows a very complex Venus (love) profile and I imagine once this passes, a similar scenario will set up because get this:
If you went with the Scorpio friend, this would not solve your problems. Instead, I guarantee you that before long, this whole business would constellate again. What business?
Well, your Venus in Pisces feelings of divine discontent and your feelings of being sacrificed. Also, your feelings of being deprived, shown by the Saturn square to Venus in your chart. If you doubt this, just think about it.
You have a kind and generous husband, but how do you feel? You feel like you! You feel like you’re not getting enough. You feel yearning and set upon…the grass is greener on the other side and all that. If you plug a different man in the slot, will it change your feelings? It won’t because these are your feelings.
If this is hard to understand, it may help to look at a situation outside yourself, so how about I use myself as an example. I am freedom loving son-of-a-bitch. I just am, but I crave relationship and these things are hardwired.
So what do you think happens? I get hooked up and inevitably I want out! Not everyday, but maybe every other day. (smirks) Do you think this has to do with the man? It doesn’t. I don’t care who you are. I am still going to have my freedom urges.
For me and you (and everyone else), it’s a case of “wherever you go, there you are…” so you might want to start thinking along these lines. Get yourself conscious around how you are strung inside, because if not…
Well, back to me. Do I really want to run through ten men a year? Three a year? Or even one a year? All because I am looking for a situation, or a man I will never want to escape, who does not even exist? I don’t think so. Much better to know yourself excellently well.
I am not telling you to stay and suffer in your marriage. I am just saying, I think you'll benefit by looking deeper.