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Mind Tricks – Astrology in Real Life: Truth Telling Sagittarians

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sag manSome years back, I was writing on a message board about Gemnis lying. I called them Gemiliars and people got all pissed – justifiably, I thought. So I wrote this about the opposite sign: Sagittarius, which is known for being blunt and honest.


I was dating this guy once, a Sadge rising. I’d met him in a restaurant for a big date. This was a BIG DATE, because he planned to propose to me after dinner. He had a ring in his pocket and here’s what happened instead.

We were sitting in a booth, when he spied someone he knew at a table behind me. The woman was a local celebrity. She was pretty much a household name in the area, at a level akin to a local newsperson.

He nodded in her direction. “Look. XXXXXX is over there. Do you know her? Do you know who she is?”

I glanced over my shoulder. “I’ve heard of her.”

“We had sex once.”


“We had sex once.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“It was at a party.”

“So? Why are you telling me this? I don’t want to hear about it.”

My cheeks started to heat up. I gulped, and hoped he’d stop.

“It wasn’t that big a deal,” he said.

“I don’t want to hear about it,” I said. Shut the fuck up, I thought. I was getting visuals.

“Sheesh, Elsa. It was only one time. It was no big deal. She’s actually a lesbian, er… mostly.”

“I really don’t want to hear about this.”

“I can’t believe this bothers you. It’s no big deal. She was pretty drunk. I was drunk too.”


“Why not?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Elsa. It was nothing. Really.”

Well, I could see he was not going to let it go. Fucker. I felt all hot. I felt like I was going to cry, so I decided to bolt. I grabbed my purse and coat, stood up, leaving him with the salad on the table. I headed to the door, with my chin up in Leo Venus style.

He followed.

Guess what he said on the way through the door, right as we passed the Maitre D?

“IT WAS JUST A BLOW JOB!” he blurted out. And then again with the, “She’s a lesbian, Elsa! For chrissakes, come back here so we can talk about this!”

I shut the heavy wooden door on him, leaning against it so he couldn’t come out while I pulled my keys from my purse.

Keys in my hand, I released the door so he could watch me walk across the street. I remembered my sister’s words. “Make sure they see your ass walking away. Let ’em try to shake that memory…”

I deftly unlocked the door to my car, got in and drove off leaving him standing in the street where my car window used to be.

Later, he explained himself.

“I love you. I want to get married and I want you to know everything about me.”

“Oh brother.”

See it didn’t matter if I wanted to know or not. The truth was being told, but not for my benefit. It was pretty much shoved down my throat. In hindsight, I still think this guy needs to learn to shut up.

In hindsight, he probably thinks I’m hopelessly hung up. You know. “If you can’t handle the truth…”

Having that wee bit of Libra in my chart, I can see both sides.

To ask a question, read more astrology-based advice, or to schedule a consulation -> ElsaElsa – The Advice Blog

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