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Men, Women, Weight Loss, and Oppression In The Gym

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I was on the cross-trainer in this gym this weekend when I spied a woman I like who I’ve not seen in awhile. I don’t know her name. I do know I like her. We’re about the same age, the same color, and seem to see eye to eye somehow.

“How have you been?” I asked as she grabbed the spray bottle and a paper towel to wipe down the machine next to me.

“Pretty good,” she said. It’s one of the things I like about her. She doesn’t try too hard but she smiles and looks you in the eye.

“That’s a good color for you,” I said indicating her top. “And one you don’t see very much.”

“Oh this?” she said picking at her shirt. “Yeah, I like this shirt.”

“I haven’t seen you for awhile,” I said as she crossed back in front of me to return the spray bottle to its hook.”

“I know.” She looked me right in the eye. “I can’t stand the attention from men when I lose weight.”

I saw her eyes were tearing and mine immediately followed suit. “Oh. Oh, I’m sorry. And believe it or not, I know exactly what you mean,” I said. “Matter of fact not a week goes by in my life that I don’t discuss this with someone.”

gym“You do?” She was completely surprised. “This I can do,” she said indicating the cross-trainer. “This is the easy part. But emotionally I just can’t handle it,” she said as she climbed onto the machine. “I just can’t stand all the men. Not just in here but everywhere. They look at you like you’re some kind of… dog meat.” She was disgusted. “Do you know I lost 80 pounds in here? I was working with a trainer and I lost all that weight.”


“And then he left and do you know I put all that weight back on in… in a month. In six weeks, for sure I had put all that weight back on and it's because of this. I just can't take it.”

“Well I can understand. I fight this same thing all the time. It's constant struggle. I have learned to keep my head up in here. You have to keep some kind of countenance that is intimidating, otherwise here come the men. They inundate you. They come at you like missiles. That’s what it feels like to me. It feels like being attacked.”

“That’s exactly what it feels like. That's what it is," she said.

“Well it can be dealt with. There is a way. I have decided my health is important. It's more important than their dicks. And I am willing to defend myself at this point. God, I feel so sorry for you. I hope you figure this out. Maybe lose the weight slowly this time while you slowly build your defenses. That might work and let you pull this off for good."

“I hope so.”

“Me too.”

On that, she propped a book open and started to workout while I refocused myself and recalled my own first day back at the gym… and the subsequent transformation.

Do you (male or female) ever feel attacked or oppressed by male energy? Do you have a Saturn Mars aspect in your chart?

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About Elsa

  • Constance

    I go the gym about twice a week. No one has ever hit on me, regretably. I’ve tried to hit on a couple of guys but they just looked at me like I was a lunatic.

  • zingzing

    this is kind of insulting… i frequent a gym, and although it’s not usually very busy when i go there, i have never EVER seen a man hitting on a woman, much less “inundating” women like the pack of wolves you describe. in fact, the only time i’ve noticed anyone being hit on, it was some 40-year-old quasi-hitting on me, which i thought was flattering, if a little ill-timed.

    i don’t know where you work out, but if it’s like this, FIND ANOTHER GYM. simple. and if that woman really put on 80 lbs in a month, she would have died. beyond that, if she wants to blame her overeating on some desire to ward off the advances of men, she’s lying to herself. she’s a food addict, nothing more.

    as for getting attacked or oppressed by “male energy…” what is that supposed to mean anyway? if you feel this way, you might want to check out reality sometime, a place where women (and men–yeah, pish) can assert themselves and not cry over harmless compliments. someone here has a weak will, nothing more.

    i don’t regularly read your column, and when i do, it usually seems like harmless fun. usually, the stories you relate and the advice you give seems pretty sound for me, even if it is astrology-based. this one, however, is kind of strange. she puts the blame for her massive weight gain on men, and you let her get away with that? no man is shoving food in her mouth. no man is preventing her from getting to the gym. if she’s going to get better, and she seems pretty fragile to me, she needs to properly identify the root causes of her problems, not just make up junk to make herself feel better.

  • Vinny in the gym

    Elsa, the woman’s massive weight gain in reaction to oppressive male attention is an obvious response to repressed childhood sexual abuse memories. Weight acts to keep her safe from men who want to figuratively “molest” her as an adult. This poor woman needs therapy to help her deal with her demons.

  • zingzing – this woman did not write me for advice. This is just a conversation I had that I thought was interesting (and provocative)so I decided to publish it. I was surprised how many people related to her (the audience on my blog, that is). Thanks for your comments, all.

  • Whisper

    Well, there is one easy and effective way to stop those “missiles ” of lustful stares from men. If the woman wears a cloak like “burqa”,we, men, will not fire the missiles any more.

  • bliffle

    What gym is that? I have a few missiles of my own I’d like to launch.