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Matrimony Beckons From Billboard

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In this era of Internet-based, narrowcast dating services, one individual is taking a decidedly retro, wide-net approach to to finding that special someone.

Dean Morrow, a 44-year-old Orange County, California investment banker has put up a billboard in Los Angeles at the corner of La Cienega and Santa Monica Blvd., reading, in the largest of print, “WIFE WANTED,” along with his picture and website address. Candidates are asked to complete a form on the website, attach a picture and email it to old lonesome Dean.

Morrow says his approach was driven by a desire to come in contact with people that he “otherwise would not have an opportunity to meet in his existing business and social circles.”

Perhaps, being from Orange County, Dean is unaware that he wouldn’t have to put up a billboard to meet women on Santa Monica Blvd.

During the initial two weeks he claims to have had over 1,100 visitors to his site and a number of applications. Morrow said he’s having a great time with the experience and is excited to meet the candidates.

Didn’t Dennis Kucinich go through something like this? Perhaps Dean is secretly involved with a reality show.

Hey, the L.A. billboard thing worked for Angelyne, why not Dean?

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About Eric Olsen

  • http://www.magicjunk.com/blog/ Mark Sahm

    If you could have met your wife several years earlier in life, but you’d have to use a billboard to do so— would you?

  • Eric Olsen

    I think I met both of my wives at about the right time in life, although I am certain I was too young and immature (23) when I go married the first time

  • http://www.magicjunk.com/blog/ Mark Sahm

    That’s understandable, EO.

    The point I was pondering was: does advertising that you’re looking for a committed relationship (by saying “Wife Wanted”) push that timeline up? Or does it stay the same as just saying you’re looking for someone? Which could imply anything.

    In my experiences, most people (men especially) were scared off by anyone confessing they were looking for that finality. But opinions vary.

  • Eric Olsen

    that is a very good question: I would think those who go to his site and respond are more specifically looking for a “permanent” relationship than those he would meet in the “normal” course of events. So yes, I think it is likely this will speed up his own personal matrimony, but of course a lot of that is based on the novelty of the approach.

  • http://none.com Bob A. Booey

    Lonely narcissist scumbag who just wants to get laid and meet bimbos or celebrities.

    That is all.

  • http://www.magicjunk.com/blog/ Mark Sahm

    Bob, is that your own personal ad?

    Just kidding, man. You set yourself up for that one.

  • http://none.com Bob A. Booey

    Oh wait, that’s me, minus the “lonely” part. And I’d never take out a billboard. I have too many bimbos already, not enough celebrities.

    Have your people call mine, Angelina :)

    It sounds like this guy does want to get married, but this is way too LA a way to do it. I mean, look at the location he picked, right in the middle of Hollywood. He’s trying to get some struggling starlet or wannabe actress.

    That is all.

  • Eric Olsen

    or it could just be that it’s real high-density area – maybe he’s looking for a high-density girl

  • http://none.com Bob A. Booey

    High-density girl doesn’t sound hot :)

    Mark Sahm thought of the same joke as me. Do I still get credit for being self-deprecating?

    I figured out your doppleganger, Sahm: You’re Mark Saleski as well.

    That is all.

  • http://www.magicjunk.com/blog/ Mark Sahm

    High-density? “Is there something wrong with the Earth’s gravitational pull in the future?”

    Nope Bob, you were a minute too slow to get joke credit.

    And you know I was just kidding about the doppelganger bit. And even if I wasn’t, I certainly wouldn’t reveal it on a thread started by the publisher himself!

    To dispel any doubts though, I speak here.

  • Eric Olsen

    I laughed out loud at my own Santa Monica Bld. joke

  • http://dumpsterbust.blogspot.com/ Eric Berlin

    LA is an innovator in billboard usage, which is kind of a whacky distinction, isn’t it? For example, I believe The Doors’ debut record was plastered on Sunset Strip billboards, which was the first in that variety of advertising.

    Re EO’s joke: There’s meet, and then there’s meet, you know?

  • http://none.com Bob A. Booey

    Again with The Doors?

    Everyone was too coked up then to be disgusted by that display.

    I’d rather meet Divine Brown than see a friggin Doors billboard on Sunset Strip.

    LA’s still soulless as ever, but it had to be MUCH worse back then as a scene. I’m not sure you could say it ever got better, it just couldn’t maintain that level of bad taste and decadence. Well, at least they made better movies then.

    That is all.

  • Eric Olsen

    dude, Hollywood IS the soul of America

  • http://none.com Bob A. Booey

    Dudebroham, I love partying in LA and I still plan to save up for that Malibu beach home someday, but LA’s only the soul of soulless America :)

    Everyone knows the soul of America is really Topeka, Omaha, or Des Moines, somewhere boring and pious. Maybe Kansas City since they have barbecue and music.

    Ever get any semi-famous chicks in LA, oh captain my captain? You can feel free to allude and hint as needed :)

    I Love L.A. by: Randy Newman
    Lyrics by: Randy Newman
    1983
    Hate New York City
    It`s cold and it`s damp
    And all the people
    Dressed like monkeys

    Let`s leave Chicago to the Eskimos
    That town`s a little too rugged
    For you and me, you bad girl

    Rolling down Imperial Highway
    With a big nasty redhead at my side
    Santa Ana wind blowings
    Got from the north
    We was born to ride

    Roll down the window
    Put down the top
    Crank up the Beach Boys, baby
    Don`t let the music stop
    We`re gonna ride it til we
    Just can`t ride it no more

    From the South Bay to the Valley
    From the West Side to the East Side
    Everybody`s very happy
    Cause the sun is shining all the time
    Looks like another perfect day

    I love L.A. (we love it)
    I love L.A. (we love it)
    We love it

    Look at that mountain
    Log on.
    Look at those trees
    Look at that bum over there, man
    He`s down on his knees
    Look at these women
    Ain`t nothing like em nowhere

    Century Boulevard (we love it)
    Victory Boulevard (we love it)
    Santa Monica Boulevard (we love it)
    Sixth Street (we love it, we love it)

    We love L.A.

    I love L.A. (we love it)
    I love L.A. (we love it)
    I love L.A. (we love it)

    That is all.

  • http://none.com Bob A. Booey

    I object to being called an Eskimo. The worst dig at Chicagoans ever.

    That is all.

  • http://www.magicjunk.com/blog/ Mark Sahm

    I guess Randy Newman must have liked the Doors billboard AND the high-density women.

  • Eric Olsen

    L.A has the nerve to take artificiality with the utmost seriousness – that is an irresistible trait.

    And I met a fair number of starlets and up the foodchain, but did not “interact” beyond flirting and the like

  • http://none.com Bob A. Booey

    Coolest, smartest, stupidest and meanest celebs you ever met, Olsen?

    That is all.

  • barbi

    Don’t think I didn’t think of the billboard husband thing. Why can’t a beautiful woman meet a good guy???? I don’t know! But you begin to put down the “I don’t want to seem desperate” sign, and just say….”here I am! Anyone feel the same?”. 49, hot, and pretty damned lonely, for no apparant reason.

  • SW

    I met this billboard cad on a ski trip in the early 90’s and was supposed to meet up with him for a date a few weeks later, but he stood me up. I’m not surprised to see he was still single 15 yrs later and stooping to such desperate measures to meet a woman. Shallow water seeks its own level.