WASHINGTON (AP) — A basketball-sized piece of marble moulding fell from the facade over the entrance to the Supreme Court, landing on the steps near visitors waiting to enter the building.
No one was injured when the stone fell. Or so it was thought…
Moments ago it was discovered that Robert Bork, former nominee for the Court, was lying dazed and bleeding at the far end of the portico. When asked why he was there he mumbled, semi-coherently, “time running out for neo-cons… must stack court… does the injury make me any uglier than I was…?”
When asked for a comment as she arrived on the steps of the US Supreme Court, the High Priestess of Our Woman of Perpetual PC Bitchiness first gave the mandatory five minute bitch-out of male reporters for trying to foist Oppressive Male Time on her by trying to make her speak her mind before she was ready to do so. She finally stated, “This is certainly a sign from the Goddess that she is highly displeased by the recent attempts by the Curious-Primate-in-Office to stack the Court.”
When a reporter mentioned that the building is old and simply in need of repair, the High Priestess screamed that the reporter was part of the worldwide male cabal to prop up the obvious phallic-centric symbols of male oppressiveness. Then she partially collapsed, grasping hold of the Ionic column and sobbing against it uncontrollably. The media was so stunned by the irony that they failed to snap photos and instead headed for O’Malley’s Bar and Grill across the street.