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Male libidos shattered by seeing wives give birth

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Annals of male suffering, chapter 41,670,065:

“Although no one seems to talk publicly about the problem, Josh is only one of dozens of men who have confided to me that witnessing the births of their children has made it difficult for them to be attracted to their wives, at least in the short run.”
— From the NY Times.

Fuck me with a dangling penis participle in my post-partum belly button.

You don’t feel like screwing your wife because you saw a baby come out of the beloved twat? Am I getting this right: your wife just passed a brick through a keyhole, and you’re the one with the trauma?

What’s wrong with you, dude? Why did you get married in the first place? Didn’t they tell you about this in biology class? Wuzzes all. The lads are letting us down on this side of the gender fence. What next, cognitive therapy for guys who heard their girlfriends squeak a fart? Analysis for dudes who saw their wives drool in their sleep?

Oh, these sensitive penis carriers. I feel about as sorry for this bunch of crybabies as I feel for Paris Hilton’s puppy.

In related news, Yale Professor Craphogger has assembled a crack team of surgeons to assist in the delivery of any shit from husbands after Thanksgiving meals, in case their delicate sphincters aren’t up to the task.

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About Adam Ash

  • mnc

    ha! K-U-D-O-S!!!!!!!!

    you hit this one right on the head

    so because a woman decided to partake in the most intimate act with you and carry on both of your legacies by hosting life within her body (never mind the 9+ months of physical/physiological woes)suddenly you can’t get it up?

    being intimidated by the greatness of the this act I can understand… how endearing

    being “turned off” by the act is simply a shame and I apologize profusely to every women who has to deal with a partner like this

    this just goes to show how some people just don’t get the big picture

  • Mark the Sane and Sensible

    This is the biggest load of self-pitying shit I’ve ever read in my life. I’ve twice witnessed my wife give birth. I’ve also witnessed the doc give her an episiotomy (sp?) and then sew her up like an expert seamstress. I’ve cut the umbilical cord. I’ve watched all the bloody afterbirth slosh into a bin afterward. I’ve have no problem with viewing my wife in a sexual way beyond the normal over-familiarity from being faithful to the same partner for over 25 years. Besides, when you do it in the dark, your imagination takes over anyway. You can get away with imagining that’s Demi Moore lying there. Many American men truly have become virtual castrati. They are weak, impotent, and a failure in the sack. It has nothing to do with watching their wives give birth. There are other reasons which I won’t get into here. Their only redemption has been via a little blue pill which for a few hours makes them feel like Superman again. What a shame. Destroy natural manhood so it can be replenished with a miracle of modern science. Oh, the humanity!

  • Eric Olsen

    haha, I’ve done it four times.

    couldn’t be better Adam, these closet cases should go on “retreat” together and discuss their mutual limpness – seeng the astonishishing miracle you have helped create enter the world is a double dose of viagra