I’m sure by now that you’ve heard about the salt stain in the Chicago underpass that some people think looks like an image of the Virgin Mary. Since the stain was “discovered” a few weeks ago, thousands of the faithful have come to pay homage to the
false god image.
Most visitors keep it spiritual: they light candles and say a few prayers, creating probably the largest collective set of Hail Mary devotions ever heard in the US during the football off-season.
But at least a handful have gotten a little touchy-feeling with the Holy Mother. In a not-so-platonic worshippy way.
This lady seems to be afraid to get too close, and as a result, awkwardly reaches in Mary’s cleavage.
This lady seems to have slightly more romantic feelings for Mary, which she expresses by dragging her index finger gently downward, between Mary’s bosom. What a tease!
This fellow gives Mary’s right boob a nice honk for the camera.
[Hey, she’s had a kid — that’s about where they hang afterward.]
This woman teaches her son that only bad men honk the Mother of God’s boobs.
Good boys pet them gently. “Make nice with the boobie, make niiiiiiiice.”
Holy shit — the Holy Grail!
After Mary received all this … attention … someone decided to deface her
craven image by writing “Big Lie” on it. Then the maintenance crew painted over the entire image in brown paint, miraculously revealing …
A giant. brown. penis. Complete with prominent vein.
And what’s with the sign saying you can’t cross
yourself in front of the penis-god-mother?
Obviously, these photos call many things into question, not the least of which is whether Mary was Jesus’ mother or father. But at least we finally have an answer to the question of skin color.
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