I have been dating a man for four years now. He has been very supportive of me emotionally at a time when I especially needed someone to make me feel loved and accepted. He is very focused on me, watching me all the time and telling me he wants to take care of me. He sometimes complains that my mood is not what is called for; i.e., I am not romantic enough or focused enough on him. His ultimate ambition is a successful relationship with his woman.
I've had the experience of a long-term relationship with a man who was emotionally distant and I was miserable, so I know the value of finding a man who wants to be emotionally close. The problem is finances. He has a good job, but he never has really aspired to anything more than just a job. He also has a lot of debt from his first marriage. I've worked hard to gain a post-graduate degree and have taken some risks that have enabled me to make more money.
One of my priorities in a marriage is that we be able to attain an above average standard of living. I fear that I would be settling for something less than that if I were to marry this man. And yet, I know that money does not make happiness.
We are both in our 40s and he is a Libra. What do you think?
I think I can make this very simple for you, so I’m going to do that first and then I’m going to make this hard. Here is the simple solution: Leave him! Could you do it? I’m guessin’ you’d be cryin’ for this guy within a week and crying even harder six months down the road.
Because you've had four years with this guy, and you aren’t complaining about all kinds of things. Things like sexual incompatibility. Things like “He cheated on me.” Things like “This guy is a bore!”
And if you have forgotten how fortunate your situation on all these other fronts, I imagine you’d be reminded within minutes of hitting Match.com. Yes the new bastard may be rich, but he may also be arrogant, boring, insufferable and ugly!! ::smiles:: But let me hit up the astrology, okay?
You have Venus (love and money) in the 8th house and I think it would behoove you to become more sophisticated about currency in various forms.
Money is not the only form of "currency." Emotional support is also currency. Friendship is currency. For example, if I am strung out crying, a person’s ability to buy me lunch is not going to be all that valuable. A sensitive friend however – someone who would know what to say and how to say it – would be priceless.
With Venus in the 8th house, sex is also currency. For example, if I don’t have sex, all hell breaks loose. I’m serious. I start climbing the walls. So the man who is able to intuit this and keep that monkey off my back… well, can you see how this would be more valuable than having some guy pay my rent?
"Here's your check, Elsa."
"My check? Where's my dick?"
I think it would be good for you to start thinking along these lines. Because if you’ve got a man who knows how to talk to you, how to put hands on you, etc… well he's loaded for bear as far as “resources” goes. And I suspect this is part of the reason this guy is in your life. To teach you that love is ENERGY and it comes in many forms.
Cash is just one form of energy, and it's a common one at that. And if you can come to understand this, you may realize you’re getting the deal of the century with this guy. Good luck.