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Louisiana Demoted to Federal Territory Status

Today during a special session of Congress legislation was passed and immediately signed by President Bush that demotes the former State of Louisiana to federal territory status. During the response to Hurricane Katrina, the local government left almost 500 buses unused, waited an additional 24 hours to order evacuation while President Bush begged them to get the people out, and over 2/3rds of the New Orleans Police Department abandoned their jobs and left the city in chaos.

“It is clear that the government of Louisiana and the city of New Orleans have completely failed their populations. In response to this complete collapse of government I have been forced to take decisive action to rectify the situation.”, said President Bush is a Rose Garden ceremony. Other officials expressed similar sentiments. Former Sen. Mary Landrieu was ushered out of the Capitol building after the vote as the area is no longer entitled to Senate representation. An unconfirmed report states that she had to be removed for threatening to punch her colleagues while she should have been working instead.

Department of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff stated that “it was clear from the response that Louisiana just can’t handle their own business so it became necessary to take over for them.” New Orleans has a long history of political corruption and as the hurricane stated to bear down on the city, Mayor Nagin was quoted as saying, “You want me to do something? I’m only the mayor; I’m just here to line my pockets!”

Federal agencies and offices were ordered to remove the current American flag and replace it with a flag that contained only 49 stars to signify the demotion of the Louisiana territory.

About John Bambenek

John Bambenek is a political activist and computer security expert. He has his own company Bambenek Consulting in Champaign, IL that specializes in digital forensics and computer security investigations.
  • kuros

    Boustany three days ago:

    Rep. Charles W. Boustany Jr., (R-La.), said he spent the past 48 hours urging the Bush administration to send help. “I started making calls and trying to impress upon the White House and others that something needed to be done,” he said. “The state resources were being overwhelmed, and we needed direct federal assistance, command and control, and security — all three of which are lacking.”

    Boustany today:

    BOUSTANY: most of the red tape and problems have been at the state level. I have to say that the federal response has been focused on new orleans with search and rescue operations which is going very, very well at this stage. but we’ve had a completely ineffectual state response and this is being borne by the local communities to help now. and I have asked the president to take this into consideration, consider that the state response is completely ineffectual and the full range of social and health care needs needs to be met.

  • WTF

    Okay I’m tired… but be truthful, didMayor Nagin REALLY say that? If so, that’s an incredible confession.

  • Silas Kain

    Boustany is scared to death that he’ll get booted. Well, Lousianans, maybe you should see where Boustany got some of his money so far this year:

    Rely on Your Beliefs Fund: $9,672
    WalMart Stores Inc. PAC for Responsible Government: $5,000
    American College of Radiology Association: $14,000
    Associated Builders and Contractors PAC: $10,000

    The Boustany Campaign has taken in $652,068 in the first 6 months of this year alone. I’m going to keep getting the figures and posting them, folks. Sooner or later maybe you all will get it. We need campaign finance reform NOW.

  • buster

    i’ve never heard of a state being demoted before, not least since the american civil war anyway. weird that, though it sounds as though the state of louisiana must of been doing a bad job of hurricane katrina’s aftermath for it to happen.

  • Resident Earth

    You have some of the dumbest readers of any blog I have seen. These comments are embarrasing.

  • Victor Plenty

    Silas, publicizing campaign donations is a good idea, but I hope you’ll put that info into comments under some other, more lucid author’s postings.

  • Steve S

    please note this post is listed under satire.

    The reality of the situation is that Bush is allowing Texas to annex Louisiana.

  • Steve S

    it was mostly done so John can put up three links to his blog, thereby bringing up Google traffic to read the real garbage.

  • DrPat

    Maybe Texas might have wanted Louisiana before the disaster. Now it’s just one HUGE liability…

  • Anthony Grande

    Louisiana should be annexed to another state like Texas or Alabama. The state has a huge history of corruption.

    The failures of the Gov. of LA and the mayor of NO should be the last stray.

  • John Bil

    I thought this was real for a second. As Mr. Burns would say “Excellent”.

  • Silas Kain

    Perhaps by placing this info under this particular post will catch the attention of somebody out there. I do this research and post the facts in the hope that another person somewhere in this country will pick up on it and join many of us who are hell bent on campaign finance reform.

  • Victor Plenty

    Silas, putting useful info under this particular post will drive more traffic to it. I hope you’ll do that favor for some other, more deserving author, so I can join you in discussing the information. If you post your information here I will not be able to help you promote it.

  • Gary

    Nice fantasy. It must have sucked when you woke up and discovered that it was all a twisted neocon dream.

  • Eric Berlin

    Those two Boustany comments are telling.

    Very telling.

    So telling that I need say no more.

  • Bennett

    I’m with Victor and Eric on this one…

    Funny how our neocon 16 year old seems stuck in a rut. But hey, at least it’s a rut, of sorts.

    Gary – It sucked when JB woke up and realized he was JB.

  • Anthony Grande

    Hey Srew you too, Bennett.

    You can’t fight my words so you attack my age. You are the only one who continues to do this.


  • RJ


  • Marcia L. Neil

    That’s ridiculous — no one can demote a state. Some F. B. I. office buildings should be demoted and closed because staff members don’t follow-up attempted contacts with REAL agents.

  • Victor Plenty

    Ouch! When Marcia finds your story implausible, you know you must be doing something massively wrong as a satirist.

  • Gary

    Pretty pathetic that Bush screwed up so bad that you need to print a make-beleive article in order to defend him.

  • WTF

    New Orleans will never sink into the mud, do you know why?

    Because Texas sucks.

  • Bennett

    Yeah, I’m feeling srewed all right…

    I just make the point to let folks know that they’re dealing with someone who’s nuts haven’t dropped yet..

    Please continue to make my point…

  • John Bambenek

    You;re right… Bush screwed it all up… Mayor Nagin and Gov. Blanco acted heroically and were luminaries in a time of crisis.

  • Gary

    Glad to see you finally come around Johnny.

  • Silas Kain

    Silas, putting useful info under this particular post will drive more traffic to it. I hope you’ll do that favor for some other, more deserving author, so I can join you in discussing the information. If you post your information here I will not be able to help you promote it.

    Message received Victor. Stay tuned. I am digging up some very interesting stuff.

    Louisiana should be annexed to another state like Texas or Alabama. The state has a huge history of corruption.

    I almost agree with you Anthony. I think CT and RI should merge. Other merges that I support are: Mississippi & Alabama; Louisiana & Missouri; North & South Dakota; Montana & Idaho; and, finally Cuba & Florida.

  • steve

    I would never support the merge of CT and RI. have you totally lost it? CT is by far a more powerful state. We would be burdoned by the annexation of RI. typical leftist…offering ideas, with no real solutions

  • buster

    whos this resident earth think he is. explain how these readers are being dumb and please note that i dont beleive the article above as i have not heard about it on the television or even on bbci []. so next time he goes off about dumb people, buster wont beleive a report until ive got a second opinion, if hes got that.

  • steve

    maybe they should demote Louisiana to a federal territory. they obviously cant take care of themselves. I turned on the news and saw a third worldesque country. thats what you get when you vote democrats into office!!

    Bring oooonnn the poverty

  • beadtot

    After the [Loma Prieta???]earthquake of 1989, some people remembered that calls to the Feds in Big Block were not returned nor info input app’t scheduled prior to the massive shake. Then, the ATMS were cash dispensers, not FBI linked. And, the ‘new’ bus maps were near-duplicates of outright wrong 1907 versions.

    Maybe New Orleans FBI has also failed to respond when offered urgent input– believing that direct input to agents is a ‘federalist’ category of info transfer.

    That some Federal offices are housing simple status-seekers gives reason to consider demotion — not of the terri-tory, but of the personnel.