I just read a headline, and I find it to be the most exciting news, “Judge Says California Ban on Gay Marriage Can End on Aug. 18.” This is an answer to my prayers.
I have spent the past 20 years (really, more) looking for a wife. The wife I’m looking for is the one that previous men in my life thought I should be. They were so adamant about that, I decided I wasn’t ever going to get married again. You can see where that decision got me.
Let’s see, the general requirements are: gourmet cook, chauffeur, laundress, housekeeper, butler, dog walker, litter box cleaner, garbage dumper, dishwasher, companion…well, you get the picture. Oh…celibacy (or extramarital affairs on her part) is a must. It’s so cool that I can get one of these to keep me entertained, organized, and on time, thanks to that California judge. Woo-hoo!
Here’s the thing…I don’t plan on divorcing my perfect husband who is very understanding about me not filling any of the above requirements. We all know that I’m allowed to be legally married to only one person at a time. That’s not a problem. In many ways, our society is kinder to bigamists than to gays and lesbians. Wish me luck, everyone…I’m looking for a bride!