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Look Out, World, I’m Getting Married (Again)

I just read a headline, and I find it to be the most exciting news, “Judge Says California Ban on Gay Marriage Can End on Aug. 18.” This is an answer to my prayers.

I have spent the past 20 years (really, more) looking for a wife. The wife I’m looking for is the one that previous men in my life thought I should be. They were so adamant about that, I decided I wasn’t ever going to get married again. You can see where that decision got me.

Let’s see, the general requirements are: gourmet cook, chauffeur, laundress, housekeeper, butler, dog walker, litter box cleaner, garbage dumper, dishwasher, companion…well, you get the picture. Oh…celibacy (or extramarital affairs on her part) is a must. It’s so cool that I can get one of these to keep me entertained, organized, and on time, thanks to that California judge. Woo-hoo!

Here’s the thing…I don’t plan on divorcing my perfect husband who is very understanding about me not filling any of the above requirements. We all know that I’m allowed to be legally married to only one person at a time. That’s not a problem. In many ways, our society is kinder to bigamists than to gays and lesbians. Wish me luck, everyone…I’m looking for a bride!

About Miss Bob Etier

  • Amie

    I personally wish you all the luck finding someone to fill out those requirements. You might need more than one “Wife!”

    So in your opinion is it a good thing that they legalized it again or not? Just curious?

  • the real bob

    I am totally in favor of “same sex unions,” whether the people involved are gay or straight. Why shouldn’t two friends, who have no interest in intimacy, get married so that they get better benefits, tax breaks, or whatever good could come of it? After all, some married couples are “just friends.”

    As far as “gay marriage,” I can’t think of one good reason that people who want to commit to each other shouldn’t be allowed that privilege (other than the good reasons that straight couples shouldn’t be allowed to).

  • http://viclana.blogspot.com/ Victor Lana

    Miss Bob, I think you will like this classic essay by Judy Brady. I’ve used it in English 101 classes and get a great reaction from the students.

  • the real bob

    “My God, who wouldn’t want a wife?” Thank you, Victor, it IS classic. I think I had this first issue way back when…I wonder if I read the essay then (nearly forty years ago!!!!).

    Clearly what Ms. Brady and I need is a staff.