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Long Distance Love – Venus Neptune in Relationship: Astrology-based Advice

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neptune bob mackieHi Elsa,

I’ve developed a deep friendship with a man I met online.

We started talking three years ago, just as his marriage of 18 years was falling apart and he was separating from his wife. We weren’t romantic at first, I think because I understood his pain over the failed relationship. Also, I wanted things to happen in their own good time.

Recently, it seems he’s come around to realizing what I’ve felt all along. I’ve looked at our charts, but I’m not sure I see everything there is to see. To me, he feels like the soulmate I’ve longed for my whole life.

He wants me to visit him in California next month. Are we meant to be?

Wondering,
Attached

Dear Attached,

Here’s what it sounds like to me. He had a troubled marriage, you were lonely. Both of you were ripe – something developed, and now you’re on the ropes. Is this a viable relationship? I doubt it. Far as I’m concerned, you’re in the land of one-percent chance here.

You say you looked the charts. That’s good. Did you see your Venus Neptune contact? I did. Do you know what that indicates? You find this in the chart of dreamers. Venus Neptune is all about dreaming up the lover, imagining him into something supernatural. You often find it in women in love with unavailable men- like priests, or men in jail for life.

That’s because with no actual man around, it’s very easy to imagine the guy any way you want him. Think about it. You’re lying in bed dreaming about your unavailable guy. Do you think about him farting? Do you think about him cranky and brooding, unavailable, and bitchy? Hell no! In your fantasy, he’s always responding to you in just the right way. He touches you just right. His breath makes your skin crazy and so forth. Sound like I know what I’m talkin’ about? ::laughs:: Well, that’s because I have a Venus Neptune aspect myself!

So, here’s the deal. That guy in jail… the priest… the married guy in another state… well your imagination is so powerful, look what it can do. At the moment, you prefer him to the man who lives next door, who could actually do something for you. Or the man who lives just around the corner. And you have yourself so convinced, you are willing to be loyal to this hologram which frankly, can ultimately only let you down.

‘Cause here’s what’ll happen. You’ll go see him, he’ll breathe on you and you’ll get your five minutes of bliss. Shortly thereafter, reality will dawn on you. You know: you live here, he lives there, no one is moving. And besides that, he still has a wife? Come on, man. It’s hopeless.

I suggest you quit feeding this. Have your agony about your lost soulmate, Writhe around for awhile, amd then get yourself on Match.com. Make sure the guy you hook up has no wife and lives close by. You know. Find someone or something viable, and dream that guy up. Because you can, you know. It’s what you do. And if you give this just thirty seconds of thought, you’ll see what I mean. A Dream Lover you can actually touch? Yum.

Good luck.
~~
To ask a question, or to read more astrology-based advice -> ElsaElsa – The Advice Blog

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  • http://mindblender1618.blogspot.com/ JELIEL

    Here’s my answer to Attached.

    1- Attachement is the source of suffering.

    2- Long distance relatioships unless quickly resolved (as in resolving the issue of distance) are doomed to fail. The number one biological rule of attraction is PROXIMITY. As much as you believe in “true love” biology never takes a backseat.

    3- Here’s the part that people really HATE hearing about because it flies in the face of everything we are lead to believe and WANT to believe. Romantic love is one of the biggest biological imperative and cosmic jokes ever played on humanity to get us to reproduce. Soulmates are illusions because you can never really love the person you profess to love.

    You love the IDEA you have of that person, not the person itself. You can only know some attributes of an object, but never the object itself. Which makes romantic love entirely conditionnal (Here comes the suffering) You will love him or her as long as he or she reponds positively to the template of acceptability you’ve created in your mind on the concept of the perfect mate, or the soulmate – this concept itself is an illusion that can lead to suffering. As soon as too many parametters of your template become unanswered (unmet expectations) your love for this soulmate will wane. And thus why most relationships fail.

    This in no way means not to get into relationships or that love is pointless. It just means, keep your witts about and nestle your feet into reality, so your feelings don’t carry you away. We all want to fall in love, even analytical and sometimes cynical me, but remember that your ego only wants grattification and will trick you into anything to get it.

    My advice. Meet and greet, coffee, diner. Get to know the person you haven’t met yet before declaring him a soulmate. He could be a raving lunatic, he could a total dullard. Internet personas are often not what the real life person is. And even the real life persona can’t be fully known. Be carefull and don’t set yourself up for pain. And take safety precautions, as in meeting in public places and don’t volunteer coordinates until you KNOW for sure.

    And good luck.

  • http://paperfrigate.blogspot.com DrPat

    Dream Lovers can be the safest kind! It’s the prospect of Attached going to California to meet up with her dream that Elsa, rightly, warns against. It also sounds like she has more info than is apparent in Attached’s letter. (“That guy in jail… the priest… the married guy in another state…”)

    I’d say if Attached wants to dream on, that’s fine. If she wants a meeting, Elsa’s advice to find something real is a better shot.

  • Laura

    I am an astrologer and I have a close venus neptune square, which is all the more powerful because I’m a sun in libra, taurus rising, venus is VERY personal for me. I met a man in prison and we wrote to eachother for over 2 years, when he got out he brought me half way across the country to live with him in northern california, I’m from Texas. Me and this man also have a 1 degree square between venus and neptune in our synastry. Well I have been here for 3 years now and this has been the best relationship of my whole life. I don’t think he is my soulmate, I KNOW. He has given me everything I ever wanted and never thought possible. As an astologer I just don’t believe in giving negative, fatalistic advice like that. One aspect doesn’t make up a persons chart, natal nor synastry, the whole charts have to be looked at together. And sometimes venus neptunians have the imagination and powerful yearning other people do not, to really make their dreams a reality.

  • Lamar Cole

    Romantic love is like a symphony played in the heart.

  • Maria

    I agree with Laura, I too am an astrologer and very familiar with the Illusive and Beautiful Neptune. Its doesn’t always have to indicate disapointment and negativity,it really depends on the person’s spiritual level.

  • Meow

    I agree with Laura and Maria.

    One aspect doesn’t make up a persons chart, natal nor synastry, the whole charts have to be looked at together.

  • Heartbroken

    My seemed to be perfect ex’s neptune is square his venus natally and during the more recent neptune retrograde (in his 5th house of aquarius) he has managed to both pick up a foreign religion and arouse interest for one such female who introduced him to it – he also has jupiter opposition his neptune (jupiter in his 9th house). Strangely enough my rival shares my aquarian birthday, only she is a year older. Our synastry chart also has his neptune square our venus/mars conjunction and venus/venus conjunction in pisces. (I also have a venus/mars conjunction in pisces in my natal chart) Thoughts about when neptune turns direct?

  • Maya

    I think the person who answered this question probably suffered a lot when it comes to love and relationships and now, just by recognising one aspect in a synastry, decided to tell the other one to quit. Consider One aspect in synastry is NOT the right way to answer your question. Also “are we soulmates?” Cannot be answered by synastry reading.

  • pfff

    This must be the most absurd piece of advice i ve ever seen. why would you tell someone ( based solely on one aspect in an already “controversial’ paradigm-astrology- that is) to renounce an opportunity ? do you enjoy telling people what to do with their lives Els? maybe you should get a real degree. and even that would only authorize you to point out a path.

  • pfff

    This must be the most absurd piece of advice i ve ever seen. why would you tell someone ( based solely on one aspect in an already “controversial’ paradigm-astrology- that is) to renounce an opportunity ? do you enjoy telling people what to do with their lives Els? maybe you should get a real degree. and even that would only authorize you to point out a path.